Life Quotes

Life

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 21: - One Zen recording: [voiceover] What we learned as children, that one plus one equals two, we know to be false. One plus one equals one. We even have a word for when you, plus another, equals one. That word is love.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - One Charlie Crews: Do you know how I got through twelve years of prison? Roman Nevikov: Your Zen? [cracks out laughing] Charlie Crews: [Kills Roman with a precise karate chop to the throat] And that.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - One Mickey Rayborn: [Crews slams Rayborn to a wall] Easy, kiddo, I'm a dying man. Charlie Crews: Except you're not dying. Mickey Rayborn: We're all dying. Charlie Crews: Some sooner than others.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Initiative 38 Ted Earley: Charlie. What are you thinking? Charlie Crews: I'm thinking about what I want and what I need. Ted Earley: What do you want? Charlie Crews: I want a peaceful soul. Ted Earley: And what do you need? Charlie Crews: I need a bigger gun.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - 3 Women Captain Tidwell: Maybe she's a robot. Have you seen her blink? Robots don't blink.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Canyon Flowers Tex Uhry: Is there anything of Crews' you'd be willing to sell? Shoes? A used coffee cup? Pineapple? Dried pineapple!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Did You Feel That Ms. Urich: Did you kill Arthur yet? Dani Reese: No. Ms. Urich: Aw. I saw the caller i.d. and I got all excited...
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Did You Feel That Charlie Crews: If only we had a really big book that listed everybody's name, addresses and phone numbers... Captain Tidwell: Dude, you are old school.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Not For Nothing Captain Tidwell: I know that pain. But I also know something that dulls it. Tullamore Dew, The Afghan Whigs and many, many, many strippers.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Not For Nothing Charlie Crews: [questioning Janis' roommate] And you haven't seen Janis? Glenda: Not for five glorious days. What did she do? Are you here to, like, give her an award? Charlie Crews: Yeah, something like that. She likes the moose. Glenda: She is the moose. Does all the games. I forgot to put "no collegiate costume mascots" on my roommate info sheet. So now I live with Mitchopher Moose. Charlie Crews: [Looks at Janis' calendar] "BW," new boyfriend? Glenda: I don't pay attention. It's kinda like Hello Kitty ate the Disney Channel and threw it up onto that side of the room. Charlie Crews: Janis use email? Glenda: No, she rocks the telegraph "There Will Be Blood" style.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Not For Nothing Captain Tidwell: [Henry is threatening to shoot himself] Pal, hey, let's not get crazy here. She is your first wife. Put my gun back in the drawer. Detective Henry Villanon: I love her. I've always loved her. Lt. Karen Davis: Henry, the desk you're sitting at, it used to be mine. Captain Tidwell: That's how I know you. Lt. Karen Davis: This extremely professional and sensitive individual, who equates women with viral infections, took a job I worked my entire life for. That hurt, probably about as much as you're hurting now. Detective Henry Villanon: You have no idea how much I hurt! Captain Tidwell: I do. I've been there. Standing on the Brooklyn Bridge, wondering what it's all about after coming home and finding most of your life has left for Jersey. I know that pain. But I also know something that dulls it: Tullamore Dew, the Afghan Wigs, and many, many, many strippers. Lt. Karen Davis: Captain? Captain Tidwell: We're taking a sidebar, Henry. Lt. Karen Davis: [they step away] His wife is a stripper. Captain Tidwell: He went with a stripper for his first wife?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Not For Nothing Detective Henry Villanon: [weeping] I just want my Abby! Captain Tidwell: Who's Abby? Detective Henry Villanon: My wife. Leaving me. That's the first time I said it out loud. Captain Tidwell: Wife number? Detective Henry Villanon: One... and only. I just want her back. Captain Tidwell: [dismisses the other officers] I got this, guys. Yeah, the first one's the toughest. That's the one that usually leaves you. Let me show you something. [pulls out his wallet photos] Mia. Carly. Jasmine. Number three usually has a name like that, Jasmine, Amber, Jade. You'll see. Point is, all magnificent women. Insane, soul-crushing, magnificent women. Detective Henry Villanon: I just want my Abby. I just want her back! Captain Tidwell: Of course you do. But she's your first wife. First wives are like chicken pox. You gotta go through 'em when you're young. If you wait 'til you're older, you wind up sterile.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Business of Miracles Capt. Brian Tidwell: Human nature. Men and women working together always end up bangin', and most people are killed by the person they're bangin'. Dani Reese: Well that's just not true. Capt. Brian Tidwell: Yeah, it is. It's a fact. Come on, Crews, back me up on this. Charlie Crews: Well, you two work together. When you have sex, who's gonna kill who? Dani Reese: If I have sex with him, you're gonna kill me immediately.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Business of Miracles Jack Reese's Passenger: They want me to tell you, Jack, you go back a long way, but not for nothing: there were six... there are five... there could just as easily be four.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Fill It Up (2) Charlie Crews: Reese, come meditate with me. Dani Reese: That's okay. I'll just watch. Charlie Crews: It will make you happy. Dani Reese: It's not going to make me happy. Charlie Crews: If it doesn't make you happy, I promise not to say another word to you for the rest of the day. Where else are you gonna get an offer like that?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Dig a Hole (1) Charlie Crews: I'd like to come back as a giant Flemish rabbit... fifteen pounds of pure bunny.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Dig a Hole (1) Dani Reese: So everyone going to that Zen center was just completely screwed up. Right? Charlie Crews: People go there seeking peace. People seek what they don't have. Only troubled people seek peace.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Dig a Hole (1) Charlie Crews: I'm not here. You like that, don't you? Dani Reese: If only that were true.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Serious Control Issues Charlie Crews: I investigate things to complete my knowledge. Charlie Crews: My complete knowledge makes my thoughts sincere. Charlie Crews: My thoughts being sincere, my heart is pure.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Serious Control Issues Charlie Crews: It's not going to be easy for you. You're never going to be like everyone else. Nate: Because of what happened to me? Charlie Crews: Yeah. Nate: How do you know that? Charlie Crews: Because of what happened to me. Nate: What happened to you? Charlie Crews: Same thing that happened to you.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Serious Control Issues Dani Reese: If I had your money... I'd be on a beach somewhere. How come you're not on a beach somewhere? Charlie Crews: Do I look like I tan?
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Powerless Charlie Crews: Hate is a prison. But you know what, Rick? Prison is a prison too.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Powerless Charlie Crews: Every moment you spend wishing you were someplace else is a moment you can't get back. Dani Reese: What about every moment I spend wishing you were someplace else. Charlie Crews: If would hurt my feelings if I thought you meant it.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Let Her Go Manny Umaga: Amigo, gimme one like I like it.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Let Her Go Dani Reese: Are you really zen? Charlie Crews: I'm zen-ish. Charlie Crews: You want in on this?
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Let Her Go Dani Reese: We got you jackin’ the victims of the gas station across the street. [pause] The owner picked you out of a mug book. Manny Umaga: Ok, I was in the car, but not like you say, I didn't shoot the bitch!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Let Her Go Dani Reese: How much you weigh? Manny Umaga: Five Thirty. Dani Reese: And they didn't notice you in the back? Manny Umaga: Who's getting jacked now?
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Merit Badge Corrections Officer #1: Getting' angry, convict? Charlie Crews: Anger ruins joy, steals the goodness of my mind, forces my mouth to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind, leads to a mind without regrets. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone. Correctional officer #2: Are you makin' fun of us? Charlie Crews: It is the universe that makes fun of us all.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Merit Badge Dani Reese: Why exactly would the universe make fun of us all? Charlie Crews: Maybe it's insecure.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Merit Badge Dani Reese: No threats against his family? Correctional officer #2: Not that we know, but we just work here. We go home after our shifts. It's the convicts who are here 24/7, they know what really goes on. Charlie Crews: He means inmates. Corrections Officer #1: He means convicts. Correctional officer #2: What, you don't like that word? What do you care? [Charlie turns to face the guard] Dani Reese: Come on Crews, let's go. Correctional officer #2: Yeah, we know who you are. Know you did your 12 years. Maybe you were innocent. Maybe not. It don't make no difference to us, because we know what you did to that correction officer in Pelican Bay. That makes you a con. Don't it? Dani Reese: You two need to escort us out know. Corrections Officer #1: You gettin' angry, convict? Charlie Crews: [calmly] Anger ruins joy. Steals the goodness of my mind. Forces my mouth to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind. Leads to a mind without regrets. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone. Correctional officer #2: Are you making fun of us? Charlie Crews: It is the universe that makes fun of us all.

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