Less Than Perfect Quotes

Less Than Perfect

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

Less Than Perfect Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 23: - The Pimp Hat Lydia: We need to have a beautiful, intimate, one-of-a-kind first date story that will make other women say, "God, I hate her." Jeb Denton: You really think you need a story for that?
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Two Camps Kipp Steadman: Hey Claude, could you not walk so close to me? People might think we're friends. Claude Casey: [Giggling] Oh no, Kipp, no. Nobody thinks you have friends.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Santa Claude Lydia Weston: Hey, what's wrong with Kipp? Carl Monari: I was just playing with him and I think I broke him.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Roomies Claude Casey: Just back off! He's mine! Claude Casey: Walk it off. J-J-Just walk it off! That's what I'm gonna do!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Rules Lydia: Wait, Kipp, what if this really is our last moment alive? Kipp: Then I should take some stuff off my computer.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Shampoo Lydia: [to Kipp] My hair looks too good for me to be standing here talking to you.
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Picture Perfect Party Claude Casey: Lydia says crinkly bags and parties don't mix. Ramona Platt: Lydia is a crinkly bag.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Valentine's Day Kipp: Isn't there a single sausage patty that isn't shaped like a heart? Lydia: I know. Why does the cafeteria have to recognize this particular holiday? It's not like every Fourth of July they blow the food up.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Valentine's Day Claude Casey: Isn't it romantic? It's Valentine's Day. Lydia: [sarcastically] Really?
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Valentine's Day Lydia: If you're so damn smart why are you working for a florist?
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Valentine's Day Kipp: Hey, is that Owen with a girl? Lydia: Oh my God, it is. Lydia: Should we go and help her?
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - A Claude Casey Production Claude Casey: Easy as pie, which by the way, when done right... not so easy!
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Claude the Heartbreaker Lydia Weston: She gets two men and I... am... talking to myself.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Meet the Folks Claude's mom: He is a lamb! An absolute deer! Claude Casey: Yeah, he's an entire petting zoo, Mom.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Meet the Folks Ramona: It feels like your parents were just here. Claude Casey: That's because... they were.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Ice Cream With Lydia Ramona: You are naïve and gullible and he will take advantage of you. Claude Casey: God, I hope so.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Ice Cream With Lydia Claude Casey: Can I pull of mysterious and perky? Keep in mind, I will be wearing different shoes.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Ramona: [Lydia pushes past Ramona in the lunch hall] Hey, there is a line! Lydia: And I think you crossed it with that outfit!
	Unknown Episode: Lydia: Your scent is supposed to linger, not change global weather patterns.
	Unknown Episode: Owen: Now this really steams my broccoli.
	Unknown Episode: Kipp: Luke. Luke warm. Luke a hazard. Luke: Are you going anywhere with this plays off the name Luke thing? Kipp: There was a really big finish but I forget it.
	Unknown Episode: Owen: Sorry I'm late I was busy last night. Damn Book Club! Ramona: You know, I don't get how every week you manage to make a bunch of little-old ladies wanna kill you. Owen: Well we were supposed to read a book by Stephen Hawking, and I missed the 'haw' part, and read a book by Stephen King. If I hadn't brought in those little hard candies I wouldn't have gotten ought of there alive.
	Unknown Episode: Owen: If you don't focus... baby will never get out of that corner, you know what I'm saying? I think you do.
	Unknown Episode: Kipp: Claude... Claude Casey: You're welcome, Kipp. Kipp: I was going to say: could I borrow $10 for lunch?
	Unknown Episode: Claude Casey: All those hurtful things they said, you can't take them personally. Some of them they've used before, like, "You should be ashamed of yourself, young man," which is nearly a rip off of, "You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady!" Which was the theme of Mothers Day 1994.
	Unknown Episode: Kipp: I am not here to be CHALLENGED, I'm just trying to HELP you.
	Unknown Episode: Kipp: Hurry! Quick, quick, quick quick, quick! Lydia: Oh my God! Are they coming? Kipp: No, it's just really creepy down here, somebody brought a lunch from home!
	Unknown Episode: Kipp: Sorry to interrupt the Algonquin Round Table, but isn't this the kind of game you play in a Mexican prison? Owen: No, what you're thinking of is Pentelonian's 'Caliente.' Which is fun but really there are no winners.
	Unknown Episode: Lydia: You'd think she rode into work on a donkey.
	Unknown Episode: Lydia: So, what, are you and your boyfriend doing something sickeningly sweet today? Claude Casey: Well, we would have, but Charlie had to drive his grandfather's El Camino down to Florida. But, he did send me a dozen beautiful red roses. Lydia: Yeah, well, I'm sure they came from one of I-95's finer rest-stops.

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