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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
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Dr. Melinda Warner Quotes
 | Season 12 / Episode 4: - Merchandise Dr. Melinda Warner: Fractures of the zygomatic socket, scapula, radius and ulna. Detective Elliot Stabler: Well it makes sense. We've got witnesses who saw our Jane Doe get hit by a cab, running out of the Farmers Market. Detective Olivia Benson: So why'd you call us in for a traffic fatality? Dr. Melinda Warner: Because I know how to do my job - I was shot in the lung, not the head. |
 | Season 11 / Episode 24: - Shattered Detective Olivia Benson: I don't think I can do this. Dr. Melinda Warner: Then get ready to watch me die. |
| Season 11 / Episode 24: - Shattered Dr. Melinda Warner: Back off you vultures, I'm not dead yet. |
 | Season 11 / Episode 18: - Bedtime Detective Elliot Stabler: We disturb Cal Cutler's eternal rest for nothing. Dr. Melinda Warner: You didn't disturb him. Detective Elliot Stabler: I was speaking metaphorically. Dr. Melinda Warner: I meant it literally. |
 | Season 11 / Episode 9: - Perverted Detective Elliot Stabler: Dispatcher's a comedian. He wrote this up as a sexually mutilated tree-hugger. Dr. Melinda Warner: [Referring to victims genitals] Someone did some illegal pruning. Left the berries, chopped the branch clean off. Detective Elliot Stabler: Perp take it as a trophy? Dr. Melinda Warner: Thought so at first, then CSU saw a squirrel run up that tree with it. Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: I thought squirrels preferred nuts. |
 | Season 10 / Episode 11: - Stranger Captain Donald Cragen: What, are you waiting for an invitation? [Olivia and Elliot turn around to Cragen] Detective Olivia Benson: Just thought we'd give Vasko a taste of his own medicine. Captain Donald Cragen: I think he's familiar with the tactics of breaking someone. All you're giving him is time to lawyer up. Detective Elliot Stabler: We're buying ourselves some. [Melinda comes] You got something? Dr. Melinda Warner: It's too soon for DNA results, so I ran an individual specific auto-antibodies test on Mr. Vasko. It's not admissible in court yet but, uh, it only takes two hours. Captain Donald Cragen: Well, how did we get a court order for his DNA already? Detective Elliot Stabler: We didn't need one. Vasko ran, Fin clotheslined him, bloodied up his nose on Fin's sleeve. Dr. Melinda Warner: And Fin was kind enough to pass it along to me. He's a match for the semen on your girl's dress. Detective Olivia Benson: [smiles slightly] That's all we need. [starts walking] Dr. Melinda Warner: Hold on. I'm not finished. I did get the DNA results from your Jane Doe's rape kit. She's not Heather. Detective Elliot Stabler: We figured that one out ourselves. Dr. Melinda Warner: Did you know her name is Kirsten Vuscelik? Captain Donald Cragen: What, she's in the system? Dr. Melinda Warner: No, in CODIS. She was abducted in Ohio six years ago. Her mother Marcie was certain it as a parental kidnapping. |
 | Season 9 / Episode 15: - Undercover Dr. Melinda Warner: How'd you know to ask Ashley about the mole? Detective Olivia Benson: She remembered. Dr. Melinda Warner: But you couldn't have known she was right. Detective Olivia Benson: I saw it... when he had me in the basement. Dr. Melinda Warner: Olivia, did he rape you? Detective Olivia Benson: It's the closest I've ever come. |
| Season 9 / Episode 15: - Undercover Detective Elliot Stabler: Captain, huh? You look more like a private to me. Dr. Melinda Warner: We'll have to enlarge it for the jury, but it's right where Ashley said it was. |
 | Season 9 / Episode 5: - Harm Dr. Melinda Warner: So much for 2500 years of 'first do no harm'. |
| Season 9 / Episode 5: - Harm Dr. Melinda Warner: You took an oath. You don't get to take a time-out because we're at war, because it's difficult to uphold. The oath was written for times like these. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 22: - Parts Dr. Melinda Warner: Victim's head, right arm and left leg were found in a car. Detective Elliot Stabler: Well dismemberment's not a sex crime. Dr. Melinda Warner: This one might be. Found traces of semen in her throat. Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola: Didn't even let her gargle. |
| Season 6 / Episode 22: - Parts Dr. Melinda Warner: Each joint was skillfully disarticulated by somebody who clearly knew what they were doing. Detective Elliot Stabler: Like a butcher. Dr. Melinda Warner: ...Or a doctor. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 12: - Brotherhood Dr. Melinda Warner: My husband's Alpha Phi Alpha. He keeps his Greek directory right next to his Harry Potter hardcovers. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mercy Dr. Melinda Warner: [arriving at the crime scene] Please tell me this isn't what I think it is. Detective Elliot Stabler: Afraid so. Dr. Melinda Warner: Give me a minute. |
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