Laverne & Shirley Quotes

Laverne & Shirley

- Episode Quotes

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Laverne & Shirley Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Rosie Greenbaum: Getting a little thick around the middle aren't ya, DeFazio? Laverne DeFazio: What was that, Jell-o thighs?
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Shirley Feeney: [to Laverne about Rosie] You're Shirley Temple, she's the Masonic Temple.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Shirley Feeney: I'm not going here, do you know where this is? Laverne DeFazio: Where? Shirley Feeney: This is the Old Ramsdale Manor. Laverne DeFazio: So? Shirley Feeney: So it's haunted. My brothers warned me about that place when I was a little girl. Laverne DeFazio: Shirl, your brothers also warned you about petting and that didn't stop you. Shirley Feeney: This is different Laverne, my brothers used to whisper in my ear BEWARE THE LEGEND OF THE RAMSDALE HAIRY THING! Laverne DeFazio: Your brothers whispered awfully loud!
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Shirley Feeney: [sees a skull, screams] This person didn't leave here alive. Laverne DeFazio: Shirl, it's a knick-knack. Shirley Feeney: It's a skull! Laverne DeFazio: Does it have hair? Is it a hairy thing? Shirley Feeney: No. Laverne DeFazio: Then we're staying.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Laverne DeFazio: [after they rip off the banister] We better put the railing back, we don't want to offend these people. Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Yeah, these aren't people you want mad at you.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Shirley Feeney: [yelling out the window] Laverne DeFazio is scared to drive! [walks away] Laverne DeFazio: [goes to the window] Shirley Feeney's middle name is Willamina! [walks away] Shirley Feeney: [goes to the window] Laverne DeFazio went to the prom with her cousin! [walks away] Laverne DeFazio: [goes to the window] Shirley Feeney stuffs her bra with socks!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Laverne DeFazio: It's like some people have a fear of heights, or water, or the dark. Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: Well I know about that, Lenny's scared of all those things. Laverne DeFazio: Then you understand how I feel, right? Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: No because even I know how to drive!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Laverne DeFazio: They don't hear you're Willamina, they don't hear that you stuff your bra with socks, all they hear is I can't drive.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Shirley Feeney: [shouting out the window] Laverne DeFazio's not afraid to drive! Laverne DeFazio: [shouting out the window] Shirley Feeney doesn't stuff her bra with socks... anymore!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Laverne DeFazio: Nutsy's a nun!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Laverne DeFazio: I just said 'you bet your buns' to a nun! Does that count as a sin?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Shirley Feeney: Lenny's still talking to Anne Marie. Laverne DeFazio: He's confessing, Shirl!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Then I cheated on a hygeine quiz in 9th grade but I don't know if it counts because I flunked. I think I'm good through 10th grade because I was out that year with ringworm. Anne Marie: I better go. Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Oh you can't catch it from me now, I washed with that yellow soap.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Shirley Feeney: We laughed at the same things now we laughed at in high school. Laverne DeFazio: Yeah we laughed because they're still funny.
	Unknown Episode: Shirley Feeney: Laverne! The only kinda parties we've ever been to are bring your own! Laverne De Fazio: I like bringin' my own... then I know what I'm gettin'.
	Unknown Episode: Shirley Feeney: Laverne... Laverne De Fazio: Hmm? Shirley Feeney: I just thought of something awful. Laverne De Fazio: What? Shirley Feeney: Some day, God willing, I'm gonna be a mother. And if my daughter comes to me and says, Mama, I want to go to this bachelor party and come outta this cake... what can I tell her? Laverne De Fazio: A lot more than most mothers!
	Unknown Episode: Squiggy: I woulda worn my tuxedo but my polo pony ate it!
	Unknown Episode: Laverne De Fazio: Ahhhh! I just said bet your buns to a nun!
	Unknown Episode: Carmine Ragusa: I once met Eddie Fisher! Shirley Feeney: Oh really? And just what was his excuse for breaking poor Debbie's heart? Carmine Ragusa: I don't really know. I gave him the towel, he gave me the quarter and that was it!
	Unknown Episode: Rosie Greenbaum: Shirley, is that the sexiest thing you have to wear? Shirley Feeney: Is there something wrong with this? Rosie Greenbaum: Shirley, Shirley, ya gotta advertise a little! Put the goods in the window! That's what Big Rosie does. Laverne De Fazio: Oh yeah? I always thought ya put 'em right out on the street.
	Unknown Episode: Shirley Feeney: Laverne, I'm telling you, flying is safer than driving! Nobody has ever crashed into a cloud! Laverne De Fazio: Yeah well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
	Unknown Episode: Shirley Feeney: What did you call that woman again? Laverne De Fazio: Banana-face. Shirley Feeney: People do not like to be called fruit!
	Unknown Episode: Squiggy: Hey, what's with all the tropical flora? Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Didn't you used to date her? Squiggy: Nah, that was Teresa DeFluca.
	Unknown Episode: Shirley Feeney: I do NOT vo-dee-oh-doh-doh! Laverne De Fazio: You vo-dee-OH...
	Unknown Episode: Rosie Greenbaum: Usually, Mr. Gunther, it's the bimbo with the bucks!
	Unknown Episode: Squiggy: Wanda Titlebaum...

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