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Characters: #1 of 7 (Full List)
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 | Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Rosie Greenbaum: Getting a little thick around the middle aren't ya, DeFazio? Laverne DeFazio: What was that, Jell-o thighs? |
| Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Shirley Feeney: I'm not going here, do you know where this is? Laverne DeFazio: Where? Shirley Feeney: This is the Old Ramsdale Manor. Laverne DeFazio: So? Shirley Feeney: So it's haunted. My brothers warned me about that place when I was a little girl. Laverne DeFazio: Shirl, your brothers also warned you about petting and that didn't stop you. Shirley Feeney: This is different Laverne, my brothers used to whisper in my ear BEWARE THE LEGEND OF THE RAMSDALE HAIRY THING! Laverne DeFazio: Your brothers whispered awfully loud! |
| Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Shirley Feeney: [sees a skull, screams] This person didn't leave here alive. Laverne DeFazio: Shirl, it's a knick-knack. Shirley Feeney: It's a skull! Laverne DeFazio: Does it have hair? Is it a hairy thing? Shirley Feeney: No. Laverne DeFazio: Then we're staying. |
| Season 2 / Episode 21: - Haunted House Laverne DeFazio: [after they rip off the banister] We better put the railing back, we don't want to offend these people. Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Yeah, these aren't people you want mad at you. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Shirley Feeney: [yelling out the window] Laverne DeFazio is scared to drive! [walks away] Laverne DeFazio: [goes to the window] Shirley Feeney's middle name is Willamina! [walks away] Shirley Feeney: [goes to the window] Laverne DeFazio went to the prom with her cousin! [walks away] Laverne DeFazio: [goes to the window] Shirley Feeney stuffs her bra with socks! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Laverne DeFazio: It's like some people have a fear of heights, or water, or the dark. Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: Well I know about that, Lenny's scared of all those things. Laverne DeFazio: Then you understand how I feel, right? Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: No because even I know how to drive! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Laverne DeFazio: They don't hear you're Willamina, they don't hear that you stuff your bra with socks, all they hear is I can't drive. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Drive! She Said Shirley Feeney: [shouting out the window] Laverne DeFazio's not afraid to drive! Laverne DeFazio: [shouting out the window] Shirley Feeney doesn't stuff her bra with socks... anymore! |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Laverne DeFazio: Nutsy's a nun! |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Laverne DeFazio: I just said 'you bet your buns' to a nun! Does that count as a sin? |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Shirley Feeney: Lenny's still talking to Anne Marie. Laverne DeFazio: He's confessing, Shirl! |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Nun's Story Shirley Feeney: We laughed at the same things now we laughed at in high school. Laverne DeFazio: Yeah we laughed because they're still funny. |
| Next: Shirley Feeney |
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