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Characters: #7 of 14 (Full List)
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![]() | Season 5 / Episode 9: - Splatoon Douglas Brackman, Jr.: [in the woods during a paintball war] You're very lucky, Jonathan. Jonathan Rollins: Why? Douglas Brackman, Jr.: Because you have youth. Choices. Look at me. I'm 40 years old. I'm out here in the woods, shivering all night, because I can't say "no" to a client who makes designer tampons for a living and sells them to the uptight and out-of-sight. I'm intimidated by clients! I'm scared of my ex-wife. My teenage son ignores me. And I'm too afraid to light a fire because of Stuart Markowitz, a five-foot, six-inch tax attorney with a Hitler complex. Don't end up like me, Jonathan. You still have choices. Jonathan Rollins: Douglas, you still have choices in life. Douglas Brackman, Jr.: You know, you're right. I chose to light a fire. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 9: - Splatoon Stuart Markowitz: I said no fire! You want us all to be killed in our sleep? Douglas Brackman, Jr.: Painted, not killed, Stuart. Worse case scenario: we get painted in our sleep. Stuart Markowitz: And you think that's nothing? Tell that to the Cobras. Jonathan Rollins: You killed FOUR more guys? Stuart Markowitz: I'm going back out on recon. Jonathan, get two hours sleep. Douglas, you stand guard. Get up in the tree so you won't fall asleep. Douglas Brackman, Jr.: What? I'm not climbing any tree. Stuart Markowitz: Get in the tree, Douglas! I'll be back! |
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