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 | Unknown Episode: Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: I could be manic, could be depressed. Real crapshoot. |
 | Season 13 / Episode 18: - Uh-Oh Canada Boomhauer: I gotta do what I dang-ol' gotta do, man. |
 | Season 13 / Episode 15: - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key Bill Dauterive: You are going to pick up the can, aren't you, Dale? Dale Gribble: Maybe I will, and maybe I won't. We call that suspense. |
| Season 13 / Episode 15: - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key Hank Hill: I guess I don't know anything about my father, except that he hated Tojos and Nazis, and my mom. |
| Season 13 / Episode 15: - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key Bill Dauterive: Boycott Dale Gribble! He is an exterminator of bugs and friendships! Do not let him into your house, or your heart! |
| Season 13 / Episode 15: - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key Bill Dauterive: I don't know, Hank. Patton's toilet is one of the three places I would like to get flushed down, along with where Elvis died and yours. Dale Gribble: I want my skeleton disassembled and shipped to Singapore to be resembled. |
| Season 13 / Episode 15: - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key Hank Hill: I guess I did learn about my dad. Sure, he killed fifty men, but he didn't do it alone. There were plenty of Fatties and Stinkies out there to help him out. Just like, uh, you guys helping me. And even though we never got to enjoy the horrors of war together, I'm glad you are my friends. |
 | Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Hank Hill: What is wrong with you, boy? Why weren't you at church? Bobby Hill: I *was* getting ready, but I worked up an appetite looking for dress pants, so I ordered a pizza, and that ate up a chunk of time. Hank Hill: Where'd you get the money? Peggy Hill: [Bobby glances at Peggy's purse] He stole it! Hank, you check the liquor cabinet. I'll check between his toes for needle marks! |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Hank Hill: Stealing money from his own mother's purse? Who does that? Peggy Hill: Thirteen is that critical age when boys come to a fork in the road. And when Bobby gets there, he might use that fork to kill us. Hank Hill: Isn't there some prison we can take him to? Make him pee in front of some criminals? That'll scare him straight. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July John Redcorn: [Hank buys fireworks from John Redcorn] These sparklers will blow your mind, Hank. When you write in the air, the words will stay there for almost a *second*. Hank Hill: For the last time, John Redcorn, I am not a narc. Now I've got a stack of twenties and a tarp for the back of my truck. Let's make this happen. John Redcorn: [John Redcorn pulls out a crate of fireworks] Be careful. Some of these are illegal... in *Mexico*. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Hank Hill: Bobby, would you do me a favor and stand up? I just want to see if you can. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Dale: Now is the time to mold Bobby's mind while the material is still soft. In Bobby's case, exceptionally soft. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Bill Dauterive: It think it's great how our hatred of other people has brought us together. I love you guys. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Lucky: You took the wrong message from what that preacher was screaming at you. You can't go throwing stones at others until you've thrown a bunch of stones at yourself. Bobby Hill: I guess you're right. Lucky: Besides, saving souls is not your job. That position is taken, in Heaven by the Big Man, and on screen by Morgan Freeman. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Hank Hill: Bobby, could you help me to put up Fourth of July decorations? Bobby Hill: To tell you the truth, dad, that sounds boring. It's okay if you're into boring, but I'm not. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Dale: You could have bunting for days and hot dogs that plump up to the size of footballs, it's all about the sky candy. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Principal Moss: Get outta here, Bobby. If those kids could read, they'd be really upset. |
| Season 13 / Episode 14: - Born Again on the Fourth of July Peggy Hill: Hank Hill, is there anything you can't do in this garage? Hank Hill: I know what I've said about papier mâché in the past, but for the sake of our country, and to shut up Milton Street, I am willing to put aside my contempt. |
 | Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Bobby Hill: That intruder story has me on edge. Used to be the only thing we had to worry about in school is getting pantsed. Joseph Gribble: School used to be my time to relax, but now... I'm all on edge! |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Hank Hill: Am I the only one who thinks this story isn't news? Bill Dauterive: How can you say that after what happened in Drundle? Hank Hill: Nothing happened in Drundle! Bill Dauterive: Thank God. |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Hank Hill: Nancy, are you sure you want to leave Dale alone with your son? And your house, which you still owe money on? |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Hank Hill: I had no idea you could say that word on television, let alone advertise medication for it. |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Joseph Gribble: It's too cold. I can't feel my baby finger. Dale Gribble: Are you supposed to feel your baby finger? |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Peggy Hill: I have seen Nancy with her claws out before, but never like this. I both respect and fear her. |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Peggy Hill: I don't know what to expect from Nancy. Last time we talked, she was full of herself, and domestic champagne. |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Peggy Hill: That's it! It's Dale. Hank Hill: Huh? Peggy Hill: Dale and all his nonsense keep her so busy, she doesn't have the time or energy to be like she was in Dallas. Hank Hill: So Nancy needs Dale more than Dale needs Nancy. Huh. Weird. |
| Season 13 / Episode 13: - Nancy Does Dallas Dale Gribble: [to Bobby riding his bicycle] Vengeance will be mine! Dale Gribble: Retracted. |
 | Season 13 / Episode 12: - Uncool Customer Hank Hill: Remember that polygamist compound? They made it into a restaurant. |
| Season 13 / Episode 12: - Uncool Customer Bobby Hill: A whole new crop of girls. None of these girls have heard my Flatulent Monkey Goes To The Post Office routine. |
| Season 13 / Episode 12: - Uncool Customer Dale Gribble: [after they get a table at the Arlen Barn] That pregnant woman was fast, but we wanted it more. |
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