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Just Shoot Me

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Nina Van Horn Just Shoot Me

Nina Van Horn

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  Played by:
Wendie MalickWendie Malick
The actress Wendie Malik was born in Buffalo, New York in 1950 and attended Ohio Wesleyan University, ...

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Nina Van Horn Quotes

07x24 - Strange Bedfellows Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows

Nina Van Horn: Oh, Maya! How I wish I could live in your fantasy world of unicorns and moon landings!
07x24 - Strange Bedfellows Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows

Nina Van Horn: Nina, you have a college degree, you know a lot about science. Answer me this: how many chickens would I have to kill to get rid of a ghost?
07x24 - Strange Bedfellows Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows

Nina Van Horn: I'll just have to tell Simon that a ghost told me I was going to cheat on him with a tall man holding a box.
Kevin Liotta: [holding a box] Hi, Nina.
Nina Van Horn: All right, let get this over with. Get naked and let's do it.
Kevin Liotta: Oh, my God! Make A Wish got my letter!
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Nina Van Horn: Honesty is one of those things people say they want, but they really don't, like education or children.
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Nina Van Horn: I don't like walking. It's so pedestrian.
Maya Gallo: You're walking.
Nina Van Horn: God gave us feet for three reasons: to be massaged, pedicured, and tied to the other end of the bed.
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Nina Van Horn: Little tip: never yell, 'Look, he's got six balls!' at someone who's about to step off a curb.
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Nina Van Horn: [finds a pill on the floor] Hello, old friend.

Nina Van Horn: Oh, dammit! It's a Tic-Tac!
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Jack Gallo: It's Fashion Week. Nina, I'm sure you're looking forward to all those parties.
Nina Van Horn: I resent that. Just because you flatline at a couple of parties they label you a party animal.
07x23 - The Goodbye Girl Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl

Maya Gallo: [finds Nina still on the floor] Oh, Nina! Were you there all night?
Nina Van Horn: I think I blacked out a couple of times.
Maya Gallo: Oh, I'm so sorry... Wait a minute. If you have been there all night, why is there fresh ice in that glass?
Nina Van Horn: Oh, kiss my ass, Nancy Drew!
07x22 - Evaluate This! Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This!

Nina Van Horn: You may think this is sappy and old-fashioned, but you know where I met your dad? At an orgy.
07x22 - Evaluate This! Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This!

Maya Gallo: This is so out of the blue. What do you think brought this on?
Nina Van Horn: Wait, I have it. Jack is having sexual problems. Men always freak out and quit their jobs whenever their Peter stops piping.
Elliot DiMauro: They do not! I mean, I assume they don't. I mean, how would I know?
07x22 - Evaluate This! Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This!

Nina Van Horn: When I needed a job, you were there. When I needed a friend, you were there. When I needed a kidney, you were there.
Dennis Finch: Excuse me, I believe that was my kidney?
Nina Van Horn: But Jack made you give it, and that's what was so sweet.
07x22 - Evaluate This! Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This!

Nina Van Horn: But what about the party?
Jack Gallo: There isn't going to be a party.
Nina Van Horn: Tell that to the brownie I ate five minutes ago.
07x21 - Future Issues Season 7 / Episode 21: - Future Issues

Nina Van Horn: For the first time in my life I know what's it like to be high on life. It's not as much fun, but my driving's improved.
07x21 - Future Issues Season 7 / Episode 21: - Future Issues

Nina Van Horn: I would like a sailboat for a present.
Jack Gallo: I gave you a sailboat for your last wedding.
Nina Van Horn: The Coast Guard repossessed it. Something about illegal cargo, blah, blah, blah.
07x20 - For the Last Time, I Do Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do

Jack Gallo: I happen to think I have a cutting edge sense of style. After all, I am the publisher of a major fashion magazine.
Nina Van Horn: Blush? Ha! No offense, Jack, but this magazine's sense of style is outdated and behind the times.
Jack Gallo: You're the fashion editor.
Nina Van Horn: And whose fault what that?
07x20 - For the Last Time, I Do Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do

Nina Van Horn: The Bible doesn't address any of the moral dilemmas I face. I'm at the summer home of a washed-up movie producer. There's a dead hooker in the pool. I figure her bracelet is going to end up in the filter anyway... What would Jesus do?
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Nina Van Horn: Simon's parents are driving me crazy. They are so judgemental. And Simon just goes along, he's like a little boy around them.
Maya Gallo: Some people can't get pass the parent-child dynamic. It's tragic, really.
Jack Gallo: Hey, Princess.
Maya Gallo: Hi, Daddy!
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Nina Van Horn: You have to come with me. These people are dull, long-winded and sexually repressed. You'll fit right in.
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Nina Van Horn: I have to dress in the cutting edge. After all, I am in the fashion industry.
Audrey Leeds: Simon said you worked with small children.
Nina Van Horn: Who do you think makes this stuff?
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Audrey Leeds: It must be so exciting getting married.
Nina Van Horn: Well, you know what they say. Seventh time's the charm.
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Audrey Leeds: When you find a place, make sure it's suitable for our little dog Cecil. He prefers small, dark places with little or no traffic.
Nina Van Horn: Then why don't you just take that little dog and shove him up your...
Simon Leeds: Let's get some tea!
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Nina Van Horn: They expect me to cook.
Maya Gallo: You don't cook.
Nina Van Horn: I don't even eat.
07x19 - The Last Temptation of Elliott Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott

Nina Van Horn: I know you come from some little village in England, but here in America we do not sleep with Finch.
07x18 - Son of a Preacher Man Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man

Jack Gallo: Do you know how I got rich?
Nina Van Horn: Your parents exploited poor immigrant laborin sweatshops and left their blood money to you?
Jack Gallo: Sure, that gave me a boost in the beginning...
07x18 - Son of a Preacher Man Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man

Jack Gallo: Marjorie, Nina and I were involved in a petty competition, and we may have led you to believe that we care more about you than we actually do.
Marjorie Moynihan: How much do you care about me?
Jack Gallo: Very, very little.
Nina Van Horn: Even less.
07x16 - Donnie Redeemed Season 7 / Episode 16: - Donnie Redeemed

Nina Van Horn: [seeing "Nina Man Horn"] Will the me who is not a hallucination please raise her hand. Well, as long as there's one me here, I'm going home.
07x16 - Donnie Redeemed Season 7 / Episode 16: - Donnie Redeemed

Nina Van Horn: Let me be sure I got this straight: you're a grown man who spends all his free time and energy imitating women and prance around for the amusement of others?
Robert 'Nina Man Horn': Uh-huh.
Nina Van Horn: Yes! I am a gay icon!
07x16 - Donnie Redeemed Season 7 / Episode 16: - Donnie Redeemed

Nina Van Horn: I just came from the hairdresser. How does it look?
Dennis Finch: I didn't know the Westminster Show was in town.
Nina Van Horn: Little tip, never tell describe your hairdresser's new pants with the words "very fat".
07x16 - Donnie Redeemed Season 7 / Episode 16: - Donnie Redeemed

Vicki Costa: You know, I used to do hair. Maybe I could have a try at your hair.
Nina Van Horn: Vicki, you were probably the best at Super Hair Cuts, but I wouldn't let you touch my hair.
Kevin Liotta: I'll do it, if I get to keep the hair.
Nina Van Horn: Vicki, you're the girl for me. And did I tell you that your pants make your ass look glorious?
Kevin Liotta: Thanks. I've been jumping rope.

Previous: Elliot DiMauro Next: Dennis Finch

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