Maya Gallo

Just Shoot Me

- Character Guide

Characters: #2 of 7 (Full List)

Played by:

Laura San Giacomo
Laura San Giacomo was born November 14, 1962, in West Orange, New Jersey, to MaryJo and John San Giacomo. ...

« Back to Character Profile

Maya Gallo Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows Maya Gallo: I think they mean objectifying women and taking them for granted. Dennis Finch: Chesty has a point.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows Maya Gallo: We demand an entire issue devoted to negative body image. Jack Gallo: I'll give you one article and a plus-size model on the cover. Maya Gallo: That offer is insulting. We won't even dignify it with a response. Naomi: We'll take it. Maya Gallo: What? Naomi: I mean, it's a very reasonable offer.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Nina Van Horn: I don't like walking. It's so pedestrian. Maya Gallo: You're walking. Nina Van Horn: God gave us feet for three reasons: to be massaged, pedicured, and tied to the other end of the bed.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Jack Gallo: I want you to be honest. Really let me have it. Maya Gallo: Well, you can be pushy. Jack Gallo: There you go. Vicki Costa: And you're self-centered. Jack Gallo: That's it. Elliot DiMauro: [stands up and slams hand on table] You belittle me! Jack Gallo: Okay... Elliot DiMauro: I give and give and you never give anything back! Jack Gallo: All right, Sally, take a Midol.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Maya Gallo: [finds Nina still on the floor] Oh, Nina! Were you there all night? Nina Van Horn: I think I blacked out a couple of times. Maya Gallo: Oh, I'm so sorry... Wait a minute. If you have been there all night, why is there fresh ice in that glass? Nina Van Horn: Oh, kiss my ass, Nancy Drew!
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Kevin Liotta: You want to hear a funny story? I once ran into your dad at the park. Maya Gallo: You did? What happened? Kevin Liotta: I told you, I ran into him at the park. Wow, with her in charge, this place is gonna go down the tubes.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Maya Gallo: Why is this girl in her underwear? Dennis Finch: Oh, we hired her. She's going to jump out of a giant cake. Maya Gallo: I don't see a giant cake. Dennis Finch: It's at my apartment.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Maya Gallo: This is so out of the blue. What do you think brought this on? Nina Van Horn: Wait, I have it. Jack is having sexual problems. Men always freak out and quit their jobs whenever their Peter stops piping. Elliot DiMauro: They do not! I mean, I assume they don't. I mean, how would I know?
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Maya Gallo: Finch, if you're trying to suck up to me because I'm the editor now, it's not quite working. Dennis Finch: course it's not. It took years to learn to suck up to Jack. Sure, I'll prance around in your underpants to stretch them out, but it won't be the same. Maya Gallo: First of all, I would never, ever ask you to do that. Dennis Finch: That was the thing about Jack. You didn't have to ask.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Maya Gallo: Seven years ago, you asked me to help you become a better father to Hannah, but in typical Jack Gallo fashion, you pulled a fast one... when I wasn't looking, you became a real father to me.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Dennis Finch: Jack, what can I say? You the man, so I decided to lay down some mad rhymes. Maya Gallo: Aw, you wrote him a poem. That's so sweet. Dennis Finch: It's not a poem, it's a hard-core, def-jam gangsta rap. I haven't had time to lay down the beats, so you'll have imagine the chains and the bling-bling and the Escalade. Here goes: There's a guy named Jack Gallo / Is he shallow? No / He just gots to go / Now he's flying solo... again, you have to imagine the boom-boom and the bitches and the rest. All the while / he made me smile like Gomer Pyle / I look up to him like Fay Wray looked up to King Kong / Like the Chinese to ping-pong / Slap it on da bing-bong. Jack Gallo: Thank you, Dennis. I'm sure that meant a lot.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Maya Gallo: That was awkward. Kevin Liotta: Here I come. Dennis Finch: Oh, no. Kevin Liotta: [comes skipping in a sailor suit and holding a prop lollipop] On the Good Ship Lollipop / It's a quick trip to a candy shop... Wait, where's Mr. Gallo? Finch, if this is a practical joke, I will literally rip your head off!
	Season 7 / Episode 21: - Future Issues Maya Gallo: As I told ten other people, I am very into men. I'm just single because I have higher standards. Elliot DiMauro: You dated me. Maya Gallo: Why does everyone keep throwing that in my face?
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Rick: I'm just so nervous about my age. Maya Gallo: Don't worry. You'll find that people here are very sensitive. Dennis Finch: Hey, grandpa. Go to the copier and make copies of this, and try not to break a hip while you're at it.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Maya Gallo: Why are you shouting? Jack Gallo: Stay out of this, Edna. Maya Gallo: Edna? Jack Gallo: If it was good enough for your grandmother, it's good enough for you.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Maya Gallo: Rick, for your first meeting, you might want to take more of a listening position. Dennis Finch: In other words, Pops, take out your teeth, turn up your Miracle Ear and fantasize about Angela Lansbury.
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott Nina Van Horn: Simon's parents are driving me crazy. They are so judgemental. And Simon just goes along, he's like a little boy around them. Maya Gallo: Some people can't get pass the parent-child dynamic. It's tragic, really. Jack Gallo: Hey, Princess. Maya Gallo: Hi, Daddy!
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott Nina Van Horn: They expect me to cook. Maya Gallo: You don't cook. Nina Van Horn: I don't even eat.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Maya Gallo: Mike is so great. We met at a self-fulfilment seminar. It's so great to have someone who gets you. Dennis Finch: I know. It's like with me and Rhonda. Maya Gallo: The way he laughs, the way he kisses... Dennis Finch: The way she cuffs me, the way she doesn't leave bruises... [both sigh in unison]
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Maya Gallo: Rhonda, I know it's none of my business, but I want to ask you a personal question. Rhonda Ferrara: Yeah, it's pierced.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - My Fair Finchy Maya Gallo: You know, your life is empty. Dennis Finch: At least he remembers my birthday. Maya Gallo: You bastard! Jack Gallo: Hey, Princess. Maya Gallo: Too little too late! I wanted a pony!
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Donnie Redeemed Vicki Costa: You probably think I'm crazy. Maya Gallo: Not really. I have a secret fantasy that I was a federal agent. I even have a code name: Agent M. I'd be the first in the room, and I would be all, "Freeze, sucka! This is a raid!" [Nina runs out of her office and slides to a stop] Nina Van Horn: Don't you ever do that again!
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - Rivals in Romance Elliot DiMauro: There are hundreds of people who would give their eye teeth to spend a day with me. Maya Gallo: Like who, your mother? Elliot DiMauro: For one, yes! Maya Gallo: Every day I wonder how I let you be on top of me.
	Season 7 / Episode 13: - There's Something About Allison Maya Gallo: So Elliot, are you still coming by tonight to... help me move my couch? Elliot DiMauro: Yes, but I still have to stop by the drug store to buy some... slip covers. Maya Gallo: No, you don't need to do that because I have something I can put in my... couch... that does the same thing as... slip covers. So just come over at 8. Dennis Finch: So, you and Maya are gonna hook up, huh? Elliot DiMauro: Jeez, Dennis, how do you know that? Dennis Finch: Please. It's like watching Forrest Gump and Nell plan a booty call.
	Season 7 / Episode 13: - There's Something About Allison Elliot DiMauro: My lovelife sucks. I just got shot down by a girl named Burt. Maya Gallo: Don't look at me. Last night I ordered Chinese food just to hear a man on the phone. Elliot DiMauro: Ping? He's a good listener.
	Season 7 / Episode 13: - There's Something About Allison Maya Gallo: Having sex with no attachments is great. I feel so liberated. Nina Van Horn: I am so proud of you. It's like watching a horny baby take her first steps.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Talented Mr. Finch Elliot DiMauro: I feel like a twelve year old boy. Maya Gallo: You are not a twelve year old boy. Vicki Costa: You're a twelve year old girl, you big ballerina.
	Season 7 / Episode 9: - Watch Your Backdraft Maya Gallo: I'll tell you, but you have to promise no judgment. Nina Van Horn: You can count on me. Maya Gallo: I slept with Pete. Nina Van Horn: You whore! Maya Gallo: I said no judgment! Nina Van Horn: Come on, first you talk about Elliot's "bowls" and then you sleep with Pete. It's not like you're wearing white at the wedding.
	Season 7 / Episode 9: - Watch Your Backdraft Maya Gallo: You told people I slept with Pete? Nina Van Horn: No, I didn't. Elliot DiMauro: Hey, Maya. I heard you and Pete played hooks and ladders at the firehouse. Maya Gallo: You told Elliot? Nina Van Horn: Yes, but no one else. Kevin Liotta: Hey, Maya. Sorry about Pete, but the heart wants what it wants. Maya Gallo: So this is how you help me, by telling everyone in the office? Nina Van Horn: Only those who would be discrete and would not misuse your trust. Dennis Finch: Hey, Maya, I heard you and Toastman had a threeway with Pete. Way to go, Superfreak.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - It's Raining Babies Maya Gallo: I'm so proud of you, dad. Here Elliot is being completely arrogant, and you rise above it. You are a great man. Jack Gallo: I'm gonna crush him like a bug. Maya Gallo: Wait, what?

« previous12 3 4 5 6 7 8 9… 16 17 next »

Next: Elliot DiMauro

» Back to Just Shoot Me TV Show