Jack Gallo

Just Shoot Me

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Characters: #6 of 7 (Full List)

Played by:

George Segal
At one time in the early 1970s, it seemed like George Segal would have a career like that enjoyed by ...

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Jack Gallo Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 24: - Strange Bedfellows Maya Gallo: We demand an entire issue devoted to negative body image. Jack Gallo: I'll give you one article and a plus-size model on the cover. Maya Gallo: That offer is insulting. We won't even dignify it with a response. Naomi: We'll take it. Maya Gallo: What? Naomi: I mean, it's a very reasonable offer.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Dennis Finch: Check it out, my Planet of the Apes collection is almost complete. Jack Gallo: You know, I don't get that movie. Are the lady apes supposed to be sexy? Dennis Finch: I don't think so. Jack Gallo: Yeah, neither do I.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Vicki Costa: Can I come in? Jack Gallo: Sure, unless you think I'm being too pushy or bloated. Vicki Costa: I didn't say bloated. Jack Gallo: It was implied.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Jack Gallo: All of the great captains of industry are doing it. Dennis Finch: Kirk, Kangaroo, Crunch... although technically, Crunch is a Cap'n.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Jack Gallo: [takes Dennis' action figure] Tell me what you really think or Dr. Zaius gets it. Dennis Finch: Please don't hurt my monkey.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Jack Gallo: It's Fashion Week. Nina, I'm sure you're looking forward to all those parties. Nina Van Horn: I resent that. Just because you flatline at a couple of parties they label you a party animal.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - The Goodbye Girl Jack Gallo: I want you to be honest. Really let me have it. Maya Gallo: Well, you can be pushy. Jack Gallo: There you go. Vicki Costa: And you're self-centered. Jack Gallo: That's it. Elliot DiMauro: [stands up and slams hand on table] You belittle me! Jack Gallo: Okay... Elliot DiMauro: I give and give and you never give anything back! Jack Gallo: All right, Sally, take a Midol.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Jack Gallo: Well, Dennis, that was the last time I went to the bathroom as the boss. Dennis Finch: Ooh, I'll call the Smithsonian. Jack Gallo: Sarcasm I won't miss so much.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Jack Gallo: If I wanted a surprise party, I would have told Dennis to throw me one.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Dennis Finch: Jack, what can I say? You the man, so I decided to lay down some mad rhymes. Maya Gallo: Aw, you wrote him a poem. That's so sweet. Dennis Finch: It's not a poem, it's a hard-core, def-jam gangsta rap. I haven't had time to lay down the beats, so you'll have imagine the chains and the bling-bling and the Escalade. Here goes: There's a guy named Jack Gallo / Is he shallow? No / He just gots to go / Now he's flying solo... again, you have to imagine the boom-boom and the bitches and the rest. All the while / he made me smile like Gomer Pyle / I look up to him like Fay Wray looked up to King Kong / Like the Chinese to ping-pong / Slap it on da bing-bong. Jack Gallo: Thank you, Dennis. I'm sure that meant a lot.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Evaluate This! Nina Van Horn: But what about the party? Jack Gallo: There isn't going to be a party. Nina Van Horn: Tell that to the brownie I ate five minutes ago.
	Season 7 / Episode 21: - Future Issues Nina Van Horn: I would like a sailboat for a present. Jack Gallo: I gave you a sailboat for your last wedding. Nina Van Horn: The Coast Guard repossessed it. Something about illegal cargo, blah, blah, blah.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Jack Gallo: I can't stand interns. They're always fawning over you. I hate fawning. Dennis Finch: Hey, Jack, your oatmeal is still hot. Do I blow on it or put it over my head and run around the office? Jack Gallo: What do you think?
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Jack Gallo: I happen to think I have a cutting edge sense of style. After all, I am the publisher of a major fashion magazine. Nina Van Horn: Blush? Ha! No offense, Jack, but this magazine's sense of style is outdated and behind the times. Jack Gallo: You're the fashion editor. Nina Van Horn: And whose fault what that?
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Maya Gallo: Why are you shouting? Jack Gallo: Stay out of this, Edna. Maya Gallo: Edna? Jack Gallo: If it was good enough for your grandmother, it's good enough for you.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - For the Last Time, I Do Jack Gallo: Glad to see you, Simon. You mind if I call you Bud? Simon Leeds: Not as long as I can call you Jacko. Jack Gallo: I don't have to call you Bud.
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott Nina Van Horn: Simon's parents are driving me crazy. They are so judgemental. And Simon just goes along, he's like a little boy around them. Maya Gallo: Some people can't get pass the parent-child dynamic. It's tragic, really. Jack Gallo: Hey, Princess. Maya Gallo: Hi, Daddy!
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott Jack Gallo: I realize some of you are concerned that we always have our meetings in my office. So next week, we're having it at my club. Weinstein, you might want to sign your name as Wayne, just as a goof.
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - The Last Temptation of Elliott Elliot DiMauro: This isn't about parking spaces, Jack. It's about respect. Jack Gallo: I can get you that. Dennis! Dennis Finch: Now? Jack Gallo: Now. Dennis Finch: [Reading off cards] Have you been working out? You look great. Jack Gallo: He's willing to say that in front of people.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Jack Gallo: We've been waiting for the elevator for twenty minutes. Dennis Finch: Only eighteen of that was foreplay.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Jack Gallo: Do you know how I got rich? Nina Van Horn: Your parents exploited poor immigrant laborin sweatshops and left their blood money to you? Jack Gallo: Sure, that gave me a boost in the beginning...
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Rhonda Ferrara: So you're Chief Moneybuckets. You look like a couple handsful of fun. Let's say we undo some of those vest buttons and watch the raft inflate? Jack Gallo: [uneasy] She seems nice.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Jack Gallo: Dennis, I want you to find all the information you can on a Marjorie Moynihan. Dennis Finch: The maid? Dude, you can do better than that.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Jack Gallo: Marjorie, Nina and I were involved in a petty competition, and we may have led you to believe that we care more about you than we actually do. Marjorie Moynihan: How much do you care about me? Jack Gallo: Very, very little. Nina Van Horn: Even less.
	Season 7 / Episode 18: - Son of a Preacher Man Jack Gallo: What is that on your neck? Did you get branded? Dennis Finch: No. Rhonda heated up a belt buckle and gave me a little love burn. Jack Gallo: Dennis, this woman, is she holding you against your will? Dennis Finch: No, we're cool. Jack Gallo: I see. She's watching us, isn't she? Blink three times if you want me to call the authorities.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - My Fair Finchy Jack Gallo: Nina, will you put that down? I spent all day buffing my putter. Dennis Finch: Yeah, and cleaning that club.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - My Fair Finchy Jack Gallo: Dennis, how much have I lost? Dennis Finch: In terms of what? Credibility? Dignity? Respect? Jack Gallo: I'm talking about money. Dennis Finch: Lost a lot of that, too.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - My Fair Finchy Maya Gallo: You know, your life is empty. Dennis Finch: At least he remembers my birthday. Maya Gallo: You bastard! Jack Gallo: Hey, Princess. Maya Gallo: Too little too late! I wanted a pony!
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - A Simple Kiss of Fate Jack Gallo: There he is! How's my favorite lawyer doing? Martin: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to bill you three-hundred dollars. Jack Gallo: Ha! That's funny! Lawyers are greedy.
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - A Simple Kiss of Fate Jack Gallo: Dennis, put my will in the safe. It is not to be opened under any circumstances. If you are at gunpoint, I expect you to die before anyone reads it. Dennis Finch: Yes, sir. My word is my bond. Dennis Finch: What? Maya gets his frozen head? I made all those wigs for nothing?

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