John Doe Quotes

John Doe

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Shock to the System John Doe: [wakes up to find Digger had stayed to watch over him and is making breakfast] Thanks for staying. Digger: I expect the same if I ever get a million watts up my ass.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Shock to the System Digger: [John Doe has lost his "gift" after being struck by lightning] Well, you're always complaining about all those odd ball facts bubbling around in your head. You know, I think you'd welcome a break. John Doe: Maybe you're right. I mean, there is no more white noise buzzing around in my brain. Digger: Silver lining, my friend. John Doe: No more people staring at me like I'm some kind of freak. No more nightly trivial pursuit-athons. No more email chess games with Stephen Hawking. Digger: Now wait a second! You're playing chess with Stephen Hawking?
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Save As...John Doe Digger: [catching John Doe staring at Paulette's legs] Feel free to pick up your tongue off the floor.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Save As...John Doe John Doe: [in his first fight defeats a martial artist in hand-to-hand combat] What do you know! I know Ju-jitsu!
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Tone Dead Frank Hayes: [after watching John Doe play a dazzling guitar solo in the recording studio] And he's asking me what turns women on?
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Tone Dead Jamie Avery: [interrogating a suspect] Got your drug test back. Found some ecstasy. That was some pretty happy pee.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Manifest Destiny John Doe: [at the controls of a 767] Tell you what. I'll bake you that pie myself. Rachel Penbroke: [impressed with John's never-ending list of skills] You're telling me you can fly an airplane and cook? John Doe: [laughs softly] You don't know the half of it. Rachel Penbroke: I get the feeling I don't know any of it. Pavel Kovarik: [interrupting John and Rachel] You two make beautiful babies, eh? If we get out of it alive.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Mind Games John Doe: I know everything about fatherhood. I don't know anything about being a dad. Frank Hayes: Now that's the smartest thing you've ever said.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Low Art Museum Director: John Doe? Who the hell is John Doe? Frank Hayes: Beats the hell out of me...
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Blood Lines Karen Kawalski: [seeing John Doe has taken out all his furniture and left it in the hallway] How Feng Shui of you. I dig it, Doe. Very minimalist. Just you and the walls. Karen Kawalski: [sees an expensive lamp with the discarded furniture] Damn! I think this lamp costs more than my entire apartment. How are you so loaded?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Blood Lines Karen Kawalski: [sees John Doe's erratic scribblings all over the walls] Oh! Whoa, Nelly! Uh, at what point do I start worrying about you cutting off an ear?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Blood Lines Karen Kawalski: [meeting Frank Hayes for the first time] Hey, Five-O. Groovy that you're here. You know, I need an opinion. Both of you. Karen Kawalski: [shows John and Frank two of her paintings] All right. Cubism assignment. Which one floats you the most? Chaos? Or Order? Karen Kawalski: [Frank points to Order, John points to Chaos] You two deserve each other.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Blood Lines Shayne Pickford: Are you some sort of private dick, or what? John Doe: Or what.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Blood Lines John Doe: [examining a sophisticated alarm system] AXT 3200. 433 megahertz, 12 pyroelectric sensors create a wavelength spiderweb sensitive to skin temperatures above 92.6 degrees. Frank Hayes: What are you, battery-operated or something? Anyway, that doesn't explain how the blood got in there.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot John Doe: So what am I? Escaped mental patient? Alien that sees in black and white? Government lobotomy experiment? What else was I to think? For a guy who had all the answers, I didn't have the ones that mattered the most.
	Unknown Episode: Karen: [crying] Art school loans up the yin-yang. An overweight cat to support. Rent I don't have. And, I just got the axe! John Doe: Digger fired you? Karen: [wipes her tears] No biggie! Because I decided I found my calling. Piano-playing gumshoe's assistant. Karen: [stops crying and gets excited] John Doe Investigations! How may I direct your call? What do you say, moneybags? You'll see! I'm going to be the damn best assistant you never had!
	Unknown Episode: Karen: [enters John Doe's loft] You miss me, boss? Karen: [sees John Doe's expensive furnishings] Ha! Son-of-a-Baptist! You win the lottery or something? John Doe: [successfully hacks into the Federal Court Archives] Well, well. Karen: Federal Court Archives? Something tells me, that didn't come with Windows. John Doe: I reverse-encrypted their firewall with a pseudo IP and deconstructed their Telnet with a viral protocol. Karen: You frighten me.
	Unknown Episode: John Doe: She's not a bag lady. Your mother. Maybe I can help turn the light. Help you find her. Karen: [John leaves the room] Nice of you, but... I'm used to living in the dark.
	Unknown Episode: Jenny Nichols: Daddy says you're the mystery man here to fly me home. John Doe: I guess I am the mystery man.
	Unknown Episode: Digger: May all your ups and downs be under the sheets.
	Unknown Episode: Frank Hayes: Just because you know everything, doesn't mean you know everything, John.
	Unknown Episode: Frank Hayes: Last time I went on a date was the opening night of Dances With Wolves. I had on MC Hammer pants and a gold earring.

« previous1next »

» Back to John Doe TV Show