Frank Reynolds

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

- Character Guide

Characters: #5 of 5 (Full List)

Played by:

Danny DeVito
Daniel Michael DeVito Jr. was born on November 17, 1944, in Neptune, New Jersey. His father, Daniel, ...

« Back to Character Profile

Frank Reynolds Quotes

	Season 4 / Episode 13: - The Nightman Cometh Frank Reynolds: [singing] You got to pay the troll toll if you want to get into this boy's hole!
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell Charlie Kelly: Why is the witch-slave shooting at you anyways? Frank Reynolds: Maybe she used her sorcery. Dee Reynolds: Sorcery? Your dumb-dick partner walked into the bar, and said he'd stolen a bunch of guns, and asked if I wanted to shoot a pumpkin off his head, and of course I did, so here we are. Frank Reynolds: Damn your necromancy woman!
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Mac and Charlie Die: Part One Dennis Reynolds: It's the safest way, Frank. Frank Reynolds: Dennis, if I was looking for safe, I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Gang Dances Their Asses Off Frank Reynolds: Employee evaluation. This bar is a business, and we're gonna start acting like one. Mac: Yeah, well, I DON'T want to start acting like a business, 'cause that sounds boring as shit. Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, and this thing's, like, ten pages long, so you know what? I'm not gonna read it. Frank Reynolds: Well, then, that's gonna affect your rank! Dennis Reynolds: Rank? Frank Reynolds: I put us all in a ranking system so you'd all care about your jobs. Dennis Reynolds: Are we ranked now? Frank Reynolds: Yes, you are. Dennis Reynolds: Where am I ranked? Frank Reynolds: Second, after me. Mac: Wait, what about me? Frank Reynolds: You're third. Mac: WHAT? Why am I third? Frank Reynolds: Too volatile. Mac: BULLSHIT! That's BULLSHIT!
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Gang Dances Their Asses Off Dee Reynolds: [about the dance 'contest'] Dee Reynolds: Place, Paddy's Pub. Time, Saturday. Date, with Charlie Kelly. Prize... PADDY'S PUB? Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, dude, you put the bar up as a prize? Charlie Kelly: No, I listed it in the 'Pride' section, the place where you list what you take pride in. Dee Reynolds: That's a 'Z', Charlie! Frank Reynolds: Didn't you read that goddamn thing? Charlie Kelly: I gave it a once-over! Mac: Oh, that's it! Your illiteracy has screwed us again!
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Gang Dances Their Asses Off Dee Reynolds: [about the dance 'contest'] Place, Paddy's Pub. Time, Saturday. Date, with Charlie Kelly. Prize... PADDY'S PUB? Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, dude, you put the bar up as a prize? Charlie Kelly: No, I listed it in the 'Pride' section, the place where you list what you take pride in. Dee Reynolds: That's a 'Z', Charlie! Frank Reynolds: Didn't you read that goddamn thing? Charlie Kelly: I gave it a once-over! Mac: Oh, that's it! Your illiteracy has screwed us again!
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Gang Dances Their Asses Off Mac: [sees Frank and company grilling outside] What the hell is going on out here? Frank Reynolds: We're makin' brownies... Matthew Mara 'Rickety Cricket': The drug-filled kind.
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City Frank Reynolds: How 'bout you put an egg in your shoe and beat it!
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender Frank Reynolds: Charlie, I need a woman. I need a woman to... to cook for me, and clean up after me, and somebody that will do everything I say. Charlie Kelly: Well, that's just a maid. You want a maid? Frank Reynolds: Yeah, that's right, a maid. A maid I can bang.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Mac Is a Serial Killer Frank Reynolds: I'm going to go oil my chainsaw. Dee Reynolds: What? Dennis Reynolds: Frank, we don't need the chainsaw. Is that what's in that bag? Frank Reynolds: Oh, we do... because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance... a beautiful dance with a chainsaw. Dennis Reynolds: He makes less and less sense as the days go by. Dee Reynolds: I don't get it... at all.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Mac Is a Serial Killer Dennis Reynolds: [the gang talks about the city's serial killer as Mac suddenly walks into the bar] This guy got laid last night! Mac: [nervously] No, I didn't! Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, you did. You didn't come last night. Mac: Yes, I did! Dee Reynolds: Yeah, those are the same clothes you were wearing yesterday. Mac: No, they aren't. They're different clothes. Dennis Reynolds: Hey, what's with those scratches on your neck? Mac: Scratches? What scratches? I've... I've gotta take a piss. Stop asking me questions. Dee Reynolds: Well, that was weird. Charlie Kelly: I wonder what got into him. Frank Reynolds: Serial killin'!
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Mac Is a Serial Killer Charlie Kelly: Hey Frank, what guy hasn't done some extensive research on his own genitalia? Don't say you, buddy, 'cause I woke up to you doing some pretty frantic research last night, pal! Frank Reynolds: We can go tit for tat on that one, so you better drop that subject!
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person Frank Reynolds: 5 6 7 8 Charlie Kelly: Night man, sneaky and mean, spider inside my dreams, i think i love you, you make me want to cry, you make me want to die, i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you night man. Charlie Kelly: Every night you come into my room, and pin me down with your strong arms, and pin me down and i try to fight you. You come inside me, you fill me up and... Frank Reynolds, Mac: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Charlie Charlie. Mac: Charlie hold on a second. I mean the first half of that song was kinda cool but whats with the second half? Charlie Kelly: It's about the night man, like you know like filling me up and i become him i become the spirit of the night man. Mac: But it sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you. Charlie Kelly: What dude, where are you getting that from? It's just two men sharing the night, it might seem wrong but its just right, it's just two men sharing each other, it's just two men like loving brothers, one on top and one on bottom, one inside and one is out, one is screaming he's so happy, the others screaming a passionate shout, it's the night man, I'm feeling so wrong and right man, the feeling so wrong and right man, i can't fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down with your strong hands and i become the night, the passionate, passionate night man. Mac: We need a new front man.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person Mac: [referring to band] You're not in it. Dennis Reynolds: Why am I not in it? I have a great voice. Mac: You do have a great voice. You know what, man? You have an excellent voice the problem is that you're like into all of that early eighties glam rock fem shit and that's not the artistic direction that I want to take the band in. Dennis Reynolds: Artistic direction? You guys don't even play instruments. Mac: Well that doesn't matter, does it? Because it's all about rocking and looking good and kicking ass. Frank Reynolds: Yeah, he's right. It's all about image and marketing. I mean, there are no band out there with any musical ability. Mac: Frank, I like the way you think. You're in the band!
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Gang Sells Out Mac: No, no, no! Gangsters don't sing! Frank Reynolds: What are you talking about? You ever hear of gangsta rap?
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Gang Sells Out Frank Reynolds: You don't look like a gay guy. Dennis Reynolds: That's because he's a bear. Mac: What? Dennis Reynolds: He's a bear, you see some gay guys are twinks and other are bears, this gay guy is a bear. By the way, we are totally cool with that, to each his own Frank Reynolds: Wait I'm a little confused here, what's a twink? Dennis Reynolds: Twink is small and slender, like mac. Mac: Whoa, no, I'm too muscular, I would be a bear. Dennis Reynolds: Uh, don't think so bro, not hairy enough. Frank Reynolds: Smooth. Now, I would be a bear. Dennis Reynolds: No, no, I see, I don't think you'd be a bear either, as a matter of fact I don't know what you'd be, you're definitely not a twink. Frank Reynolds: I'd be a top, that's for sure. Mac: Can a twink be a top, or is that reserved for bears? Dennis Reynolds: I'm sure there's a great deal of switching back and forth but I think more often then not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power bottoms. Frank Reynolds: What's a power bottom? Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power. Frank Reynolds: Actually Mac, you've got it backwards, you see, the power bottom is actually generating the power by doing most of the work. Frank Reynolds: Does power have to do with size or strength of the bottom? Mac: Now Dennis, I heard speed has something to do with it. Frank Reynolds: Speed has everything to do with it, you see the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply, speeds the name of the game.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation Dennis Reynolds: How do we know they're North Koreans? Frank Reynolds: Because that's the bad Korea.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Gang Gets Held Hostage Frank Reynolds: There's broken glass everywhere. Mac: Broken glass? Oh my god I think you found Charlie's bad room. Frank Reynolds: What the hell is that? Mac: It's where Charlie goes to think and break bottles, dude you gotta get out of there, he's going to find you.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - The Gang Gets Invincible Artemis: He's been trying to climb through that garbage can for 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure he's on acid. Frank Reynolds: Thank God you guys are here. How'd you get in here? Dennis Reynolds: What are you talking about? Frank Reynolds: I've been stuck in this bathroom for three hours. Artemis: I think he pooped in there.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - The Gang Gets Invincible Frank Reynolds: I'm gonna trip balls.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby Frank Reynolds: What the hell is that? Mac: It's a baby we found in the dumpster. Frank Reynolds: Well put it back, it's not yours.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad Frank Reynolds: Banging your sister is perverted, Dennis!
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad Dennis Reynolds: I am not banging my sister. Barbara Reynolds: Jesus Christ! What have I walked into here? Dee Reynolds: Oh my God. Barbara Reynolds: You two aren't having sex together... Dennis Reynolds: No, we're not having sex. Frank Reynolds: What the hell is she doing here? Dee Reynolds: Sit down please, Mom. Barbara Reynolds: I am not getting pulled into any sort of perverted sex talk. Dennis Reynolds: It's not perverted! Frank Reynolds: Banging your sister is perverted, Dennis! Dennis Reynolds: [shouts] I am not banging my sister!
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad Dee Reynolds: We need to talk to you about something, Dad. Frank Reynolds: Shoot. Dennis Reynolds: It's kind of disturbing. Frank Reynolds: You two aren't banging, are you? Dee Reynolds: What? Dennis Reynolds: No! What are you talking about? Dee Reynolds: No, that's disgusting. Frank Reynolds: Yeah, yeah it is. Stay away from that kind of thing. No good can come of it, trust me.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad Frank Reynolds: [looking for someone via MySpace so he can kill him] Shit! He hasn't accepted my friend request! Charlie Kelly: Relax, Frank. Sometimes it takes a while. Frank Reynolds: It's been days! I have no friends! Charlie Kelly: Would you stop saying that? You have friends. Frank Reynolds: Yeah, I got you, I got this guy, Tom, and this crazy lady who claims we had a one-night-stand 30 years ago. Charlie Kelly: Yeah, but Tom doesn't really count. He sort of comes with it.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad Mac: Charlie, this is our opportunity to prove to people that we are to be respected. No one is more respected than dudes in prison right? Charlie Kelly: Yeah. Mac: And what are dudes in prison? Charlie Kelly: Hard? Mac: Right; this is our chance to get hard. Charlie Kelly: OK OK i just don't know if this is the best way to get hard. Mac: Of course it is, this is totally hard. Look you want to get hard don't you? Charlie Kelly: I want to get hard. I want to get very very hard. Mac: Alright, do you want to shove heroin into your ass? Charlie Kelly: Dude I don't want to shove anything in my ass. Mac: Alright this is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are and not have to shove anything into our asses. Frank Reynolds: What in Gods name are you two talking about? Mac: Frank we're in. Frank Reynolds: Great! [Fires Gun]
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass Mac: Well, then, what would you say? Dennis Reynolds: She's a quitter. Dee Reynolds: You know what, I don't even care! I don't care. Dennis Reynolds: And that proves my point. Because you don't care, you never succeed. Mac: Right. Failed. Dennis Reynolds: Failure implies that she actually tried to be an actor. Dee Reynolds: Okay, I did try, it just didn't happen to work out. Frank Reynolds: It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough. Dee Reynolds: Wow, thank you! That's my dad, everybody.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass Dennis Reynolds: If you don't like smoke, then don't come into the bar. Charlie Kelly: I work in this bar. I work here. Dennis Reynolds: But that's because you have the freedom to choose to work here, okay? Smoking bans, they don't protect freedom, they strip it away from smokers Frank Reynolds: Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me. Dee Reynolds: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop! Frank Reynolds: And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass Dennis Reynolds: If Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face. Charlie Kelly: You gotta be... you don't know shit about the Constitution, man. Mac: Uh, he knows more than you two un-American freedom haters. Dennis Reynolds: Thank you. Dee Reynolds: Oh, Charlie, we hate freedom. Eww, we hate it. Dennis Reynolds: You hate it. Charlie Kelly: Oh, I'm un-American? Frank Reynolds: You're practically a Viet Cong.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass Frank Reynolds: Do we have any sharp knives? Mac: What? Dennis Reynolds: What? Frank Reynolds: These guys are maniacs! They want to start betting fingers. Dennis Reynolds: Fingers! Mac: What are you talking about? Frank Reynolds: If Alan loses this hand, he's gonna start chopping off his fingers. I've never seen anything like it in my life! Mac: Okay, this has gone way too far. Dennis Reynolds: This is getting ridiculous. Dad, your friends have got to go! Frank Reynolds: Bullshit! Mac: You are killing our freedom, man! Frank Reynolds: This is what freedom's all about. I'm living on the edge!

« previous12 next »

Previous: Sweet Dee Reynolds

» Back to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia TV Show