02x21 - A Room with a Rack Season 2 / Episode 21: - A Room with a Rack

Alexander Scott: I figure you guys have been playing stretch-'em with my partner long enough.
02x10 - One of Our Bombs Is Missing Season 2 / Episode 10: - One of Our Bombs Is Missing

Kelly Robinson: [after Kelly gets a phone call and quickly kicks their beautiful dates out from their hotel room] We gotta get over to the American Embassy!
Alexander Scott: [bewildered] But, I mean why - how come - uh?
Kelly Robinson: They've lost a nuclear device! We lost an A-bomb, and we gotta find it!
Alexander Scott: [dejectedly following Kelly out the door] We were having fun here, just a minute ago.
02x06 - Trial by Treehouse Season 2 / Episode 6: - Trial by Treehouse

Edward, Prince Edward: No man not the darkness, wait a minute, not the darkenss man!
02x06 - Trial by Treehouse Season 2 / Episode 6: - Trial by Treehouse

Kelly Robinson: Listen uh, it wasn't my fault man. I uh. I run into an oil slick back there.
Alexander Scott: Where?
Kelly Robinson: I don't know, it's back there somewhere.
02x06 - Trial by Treehouse Season 2 / Episode 6: - Trial by Treehouse

Kelly Robinson: You're a very lucky man.
01x27 - It's All Done with Mirrors Season 1 / Episode 27: - It's All Done with Mirrors

Dr. Karolyi: [Addressing the captive Kelly] You are half of one of your country's most effective intelligence teams, and I know you have been briefed about my experiments in conditioning animal behavior.
Kelly Robinson: Brainwashing. Yeah, well, I always send mine out.
Dr. Karolyi: Ah, but we do our laundry right here on the premises.
01x27 - It's All Done with Mirrors Season 1 / Episode 27: - It's All Done with Mirrors

Kelly Robinson: I'll have myself a shower and a shave and I'll be once again your alert, clean-cut, clear-eyed, government-issue Captain Marvel.
01x26 - There Was a Little Girl Season 1 / Episode 26: - There Was a Little Girl

Kelly Robinson: What's eating you, anyway?
Alexander Scott: Why, I don't know, man. Tensions or something. Y'know, it's as if, uh, it's as if a dead cat walked across my grave.
Kelly Robinson: Well, that's silly. How could a dead cat walk?
Alexander Scott: Well, that's what I mean. Causes tension just having me think about it.
01x26 - There Was a Little Girl Season 1 / Episode 26: - There Was a Little Girl

Alexander Scott: [Taking over Kelly's unfinished game of solitaire] You're the only man I know that will use deuces and jokers wild at a solitaire game.
Kelly Robinson: Gotta win a game once in a while.
01x25 - My Mother, the Spy Season 1 / Episode 25: - My Mother, the Spy

Alexander Scott: You can't have a baby - you're a spy!
01x25 - My Mother, the Spy Season 1 / Episode 25: - My Mother, the Spy

Alexander Scott: Defector. Little bald headed defector.
01x24 - Crusade to Limbo Season 1 / Episode 24: - Crusade to Limbo

Sean: [after Kelly expresses interest in becoming part of Munoz's political organization] You don't have any social conscience, Kelly. You're a gypsy, a tennis bum, with all the values and morals of a Hollywood producer.
01x22 - The Conquest of Maude Murdock Season 1 / Episode 22: - The Conquest of Maude Murdock

Kelly Robinson: [Kelly and Scott are being held at gunpoint by two Spanish-speaking guards; Kelly is preparing to try and hit the fusebox] Look here, old man, I could use a little diversion about now.
Alexander Scott: What kind of a disturbance do you want?
Kelly Robinson: I don't know, but make it quick.
Alexander Scott: Mary Poppins! [the guards look to Scott in surprise, the lights go out and gunfire is heard in the darkness]
01x22 - The Conquest of Maude Murdock Season 1 / Episode 22: - The Conquest of Maude Murdock

Kelly Robinson: [Thanking their faithful taxi driver Jaime for waiting, even after getting beat up] You stuck with us, my man. You're all right.
Jaime: That's why I'm hanging around with you, because I'm learning about love.
Kelly Robinson: Oh, yeah? What do you think about it?
Jaime: It is madness.
Kelly Robinson: And it hurts too, doesn't it?
01x21 - Return to Glory Season 1 / Episode 21: - Return to Glory

Kelly Robinson: [Walking along the sidewalk, gnawing on a stick] Wanna piece of my sugar cane?
Alexander Scott: No, man.
Kelly Robinson: It's great stuff. In time it makes your teeth all gold.
01x20 - Bet Me a Dollar Season 1 / Episode 20: - Bet Me a Dollar

Kelly Robinson: [Speaking to his doctor, after being treated for a knife wound sustained while breaking up a fight] What about the fight? I mean, what happened?
Dr. Munoz: Oh, we call it "machismo." "Who is the better man?" It started in the bar and finished on the pavement.
Kelly Robinson: [Smiling and shaking head in understanding] Yes, we call it the same thing and it usually starts in the same place.
01x19 - Turkish Delight Season 1 / Episode 19: - Turkish Delight

Alexander Scott: Well, see, I have this friend of mine who makes a habit of showing up whenever things get worse, so...
Dr. Rachel Albert: Really?
Alexander Scott: That's right.
Dr. Rachel Albert: Well, what does he do?
Alexander Scott: Well, that's what he does, see, he shows whenever things get rotten.
Dr. Rachel Albert: Well, then where is he?
Alexander Scott: [nervous chuckle] Well, he's coming. I hope.
01x15 - The Tiger Season 1 / Episode 15: - The Tiger

Alexander Scott: Well, if you're gonna go runnin' around that jungle actin' like Superman, somebody's gotta be there to carry your phone booth.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: The wonderfulness of your charm.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: This is how far a cigarette burns in five minutes.
Kelly Robinson: Is there no limit to the wonderfulness of your mind.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Kelly Robinson: Don't you ever bring a silencer?
Alexander Scott: Ruins the line of my suit.
Kelly Robinson: Mine too.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: Well you have to get beat up every once in a while otherwise you go soft, right Kel?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Kelly Robinson: I can just imagine the look on their faces when we unload a million dollars worth of stove on them. 875 pounds worth.
Alexander Scott: Yeah.
Kelly Robinson: Suppose by the time it got to Internal Revenue it only weighed 800 pounds?
Alexander Scott: See what you mean. Well the lid's loose, maybe the damper door?
Kelly Robinson: 75 lbs of gold must be worth a lot of money.
Alexander Scott: Seventy-two thousand.
Kelly Robinson: Already figured it out, huh?
Alexander Scott: Yeah. $60 an ounce on the Chinese black market. I think I can get $70 an ounce. I know a guy...
Kelly Robinson: $70 an ounce! Whew. A couple of one-way tickets to Tahiti would scarcely put a dent in it!
Alexander Scott: No sir. Have you ever seen a Taihitian hula? [Sings] Do-dump-de-dumpdy... You take the door and I'll take the lid.
Kelly Robinson: While we're at it we may want to hack off a couple of legs. We may want to entertain!
Alexander Scott: Right!
Kelly Robinson: No, we'd only lose our pension benefits.
Alexander Scott: Think we'd lose our jobs?
Kelly Robinson: Yeah. Such wonderful jobs too.
Alexander Scott: And the hospitalization is free.
Kelly Robinson: All those wonderful orthopedic devices.
Alexander Scott: I just love plaster of paris.
Kelly Robinson: Right.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: Hey, what're you doing?
Kelly Robinson: I've come to save you.
Alexander Scott: You can't, man, I've got a boat coming, now get outa here!
Kelly Robinson: But I've come to rescue you.
Alexander Scott: You CAN'T rescue me NOW.
Kelly Robinson: How come you always embarrass me when I'm rescuing you.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: I enjoy being made a fool of when I'm pleading for my country. It gives me a warm glow all over.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alexander Scott: Has anyone told you how good you look in that?
Kelly Robinson: Why, no...
Alexander Scott: Well, if they do, smack 'em in the face real fast, because they're not your friend.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Kelly Robinson: Okay, Boy Wonder, you wanna get the collapsible batpole out of the glove compartment?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Kelly Robinson: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.