Lucy Ricardo

I Love Lucy

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Lucille Ball
Remembered as a dizzy sitcom redhead with show business aspirations, Lucille Ball was, in fact, a show ...

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Lucy Ricardo Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 6: - Off to Florida Ethel Mertz: What's she doing with a hatchet? Lucy Ricardo: [imitating Edna] Oh didn't I tell you to bring a hatchet?
	Season 6 / Episode 6: - Off to Florida Radio announcer: And now for the latest bulletin in the Evelyn Holmby case. Police believe that Evelyn Holmby, famous gray haired hatchet murderess, who escaped from New York State Prison, Thursday, to be heading south in a cream colored convertible coupe. Now back to our regular program. [Lucy turns off the radio] Ethel Mertz: What'd you turn it off for? Lucy Ricardo: Did you hear what he said? Ethel Mertz: Yeah so what? Lucy Ricardo: Which way are we heading? Ethel Mertz: South. Lucy Ricardo: Exactly. Gray haired, cream colored convertible. Ethel Mertz: Oh Lucy, that's just a coincidence. Lucy Ricardo: But think, it all fits. Likes to drive around in the dark, won't stop at motels, uses back roads. Just why do you suppose she uses back roads? Ethel Mertz: She told us, to save time. Lucy Ricardo: Oh sure, she uses back roads to avoid the police! Ethel Mertz: Oh Lucy, the woman they're looking for is a hatchet murderess. She doesn't look like a... Lucy Ricardo, Ethel Mertz: Hatchet! Ethel Mertz: We're just jumping to conclusions. She brought the hatchet along to uh... to uh... Lucy Ricardo: To what? Chop watercrest? Ethel that woman definitely has a criminal face. She's REALLY that Evelyn Holmby the police are looking for. Ethel Mertz: No! Lucy Ricardo: Yes! And we've got to make a break for it.
	Season 6 / Episode 6: - Off to Florida Mrs. Edna Grundy: I was just admiring your hair, do you dye? Ethel Mertz: [waking up] WHO DIED? Lucy Ricardo: My hair.
	Season 4 / Episode 8: - Lucy's Mother-in-Law Lucy Ricardo: [to Ethel, after they fight] Happy Birthday, and I hope you live another 75 years!
	Season 4 / Episode 8: - Lucy's Mother-in-Law Ethel Mertz: She said I looked like a hippopatamus. Lucy Ricardo: I merely intimated that she was a little hippy but on second glance she does have the biggest potamus I've ever seen.
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Oil Wells Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy, dressed in a stunning, skin-tight evening gown prances into the room, showing off her new glamorous look] May I have a light, please? Thanks awfully, darling. Ricky Ricardo: Who is that? Fred Mertz: It looks like Lucy. Ricky Ricardo: Lucy? Lucy Ricardo: Yes, dah-ling? Ricky Ricardo: It is Lucy. Fred Mertz: Well, what do you know. Lucy Ricardo: [Door buzzer sounds] That must be my dear friend, Ethel. Please Fred, I'll open the door. Fred Mertz: Open it? I was going to LOCK it! Lucy Ricardo: Oh my dear fellow. You have such a refreshing wit. [Opens door] Ethel Mertz: [Ethel strolls in, dressed in a tight leopard skin evening gown] I hope I didn't hold up the party. Lucy Ricardo: Not at all, darling. Do come in. Ricky Ricardo: [Can't believe his eyes regarding Ethel's transformation] Who's that? Fred Mertz: Who's that? WHAT'S that?
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - Sentimental Anniversary Lucy Ricardo: [disguised as Lucille McGillicuddy, trying to stop the TV audience about buying the salad dressing] What's Aunt Martha trying to do, poison me?
	Season 1 / Episode 30: - Lucy Does a TV Commercial Ricky Ricardo: [Lucy is angry at Ricky and will not speak or acknowledge him] Honey, could you please make my breakfast? [She ignores him] Lucy, why won't you answer me? [She still ignores him] What do you want me to do, starve to death? Lucy Ricardo: Would you, please?
	Season 1 / Episode 27: - The Kleptomaniac Ethel Mertz: You sure weren't very smart throwing all those Roman candles and sky rockets into the fireplace. Lucy Ricardo: Well who uses a fireplace in the middle of July? Besides he should've looked where he threw that match.
	Season 1 / Episode 27: - The Kleptomaniac Ethel Mertz: [as gangsters] Get any of them? Lucy Ricardo: Yeah two, a private eye and a flat foot, I got the eye in the foot and the foot in the eye.
	Season 1 / Episode 27: - The Kleptomaniac Lucy Ricardo: Well it all started when I was a little girl. I was riding around on the streetcar and I looked up and there was a box and it said take one. So I took one. Dr. Tom Robinson: Well there was nothing wrong with that. Lucy Ricardo: Oh yes there waaaas. From then on, I took anything that came into my pretty hands, even though it didn't say take one. I took a bright new penny, I took a bicycle, I took a little boy! Dr. Tom Robinson: You took a little boy? Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, but my mother made me give him back!
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - New Neighbors Lucy Ricardo: I'm living on borrowed time. It was only by a very clever rouse that I managed to escape from their apartment. Police Sergeant: What was that? Lucy Ricardo: I pretended to be a chair. Police Sergeant: I don't think the police can help you madam, why don't you call an upholsterer?
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - New Neighbors Lucy Ricardo: They're going to kill us. Police Sergeant: Why would they do that? Lucy Ricardo: So they can assume our identities and blow up the capitol. Police Sergeant: This is serious. Lucy Ricardo: You're darned right it is! These people are spies from a foreign enemy agent. Police Sergeant: What are their names? Lucy Ricardo: O'Brien! Police Sergeant: Lady, have you been nipping the cooking sherry?
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - New Neighbors Lucy Ricardo: What do I do? Police Sergeant: Don't worry madam, just relax, and one day you may grow up to be a nice big sofa!
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - New Neighbors Lucy Ricardo: 10 o' clock in the living room and all's well! Ricky Ricardo: 10 o' clock in the bedroom and all is well! Fred Mertz: 10 o' clock in the hallway and all's well! Ethel Mertz: [muffled] 10 o' clock in the kitchen and all's well! Lucy Ricardo: Kitchen inspector. [Ethel comes out with a turkey leg] Ethel Mertz: Yes sir? Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, are you eating on duty? Ethel Mertz: No sir. Lucy Ricardo: What's that? Ethel Mertz: Oh uh, well I'm not very good with a gun so I thought if anybody came in the back door I'd beat 'em to death. Lucy Ricardo: I hope he gets here before you eat your club away. Fred Mertz: [entering living room] Ho, hee, ho. Lucy Ricardo: Fred, what're you doing away from your post? Fred Mertz: I'm hungry! And I demand transfer to kitchen. [Ricky enters] Lucy Ricardo: What do you want? Ricky Ricardo: I'm lonesome in there all by myself!
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - New Neighbors Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, were you snooping? Lucy Ricardo: Yes I was a bad girl and you can spank me tomorrow if there's anything left to spank!
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Breaking the Lease Ricky Ricardo: How do you like that guy? [imitating Fred] 'Let's keep it down up there!' Well, nertz to the Mertz. Lucy Ricardo: Yeah.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Breaking the Lease Lucy Ricardo: [on the phone to Ethel] Hello, this is the Ajax salvage company, we buy old glass, I understand you have some rings you're interested in selling?
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Breaking the Lease Lucy Ricardo: [to Ricky] Think harder, we can be nastier than that.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Breaking the Lease Ricky Ricardo: Honey I won't be home until late tonight. I have to rehearse down at the club. Lucy Ricardo: Ricky, why don't you hold the rehearsal here? Ricky Ricardo: Honey are you crazy? I got a 16 piece band, I'll blow the roof off the joint! Lucy Ricardo: Well? It doesn't look like rain. Ricky Ricardo: [thinks about it] I'll do it!
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Breaking the Lease Lucy Ricardo: [Ricky wants the window closed] A little air's not going to hurt you you hot house plant.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - The Adagio Lucy Ricardo: Why are you Frenchmen so Amourous? Jean Valijean Raymand: I don't know; just fortunate, I guess
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Diet Lucy Ricardo: [getting weighed] How much do I weigh? Ricky Ricardo: 47 pounds and stop leaning on me.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Diet Ricky Ricardo: [Lucy was hiding under the table with the dog to steal tablescraps] What do you have to say for yourself? Lucy Ricardo: [holds her hands up like a dog] Arf arf arf!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Diet Lucy Ricardo: I'm going to get rid of this fat if I have to chop it off with a cleaver.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - The Girls Want to Go to the Nightclub Lucy Ricardo: What's the matter? What are you standing up for? Ricky Ricardo: Because two gorgeous ladies entered the room. Lucy Ricardo: They did? Where? Ethel Mertz: They mean us. Lucy Ricardo: Oh! You great big latin lover you! [she pinches Ricky's cheek] Ethel Mertz: Oh! You sweet, handsome man you! [she pinches Fred's cheek] Ricky Ricardo: You gorgeous, exciting, woman you! [he pinches Lucy's cheek] Fred Mertz: I pass.
	Unknown Episode: Ricky Ricardo: There's no need making fun of my English. Lucy Ricardo: That's English?
	Unknown Episode: Fred Mertz: She said my mother looks like a weasel. Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, apologize. Ethel Mertz: I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.
	Unknown Episode: Lucy Ricardo: It's seventy-nine cents a pound. Customer: How can you sell meat so cheap? Lucy Ricardo: I'm glad you asked that. We rope, we brand, we butcher. We do everything but eat it for you. Seventy-nine cents a pound.
	Unknown Episode: Lucy Ricardo: I want the names to be unique and euphonious. Ricky Ricardo: Okay. Unique if it's a boy, and Euphonious if it's a girl.

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