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Characters: #7 of 11 (Full List)
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 | Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Leap Marshall Eriksen: I could totally jump that. Ted Mosby: Marshall, lately it takes you two hours to get off the couch. You can't jump that. Marshall Eriksen: Oh, yeah? Ted Mosby: Yeah. Marshall Eriksen: Watch me. Narrator: But he didn't jump. |
| Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Leap Narrator: That was the year I was left at the altar. The year I was beat up by a crazy bartenter. The year I got fired. The year I got beat up by a goat, a girl goat at that. And dammit, if it wasn't the best year of my life. Because if any of those things hadn't happened, I never would have ended up in what turned out to be the best job I ever had. But most importantly, I wouldn't have met your mother. Because, as you know, she was at that class. But that story is just beginning. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 22: - Right Place Right Time Narrator: Kids, I've been telling you the story of how I met your mother, and while there's many things to learn from this story, this may be the biggest. The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do, they'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there. The right place at the right time. |
| Season 4 / Episode 22: - Right Place Right Time Narrator: So there you have it, kids, theres a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen. If I had known then where all those little things were leading me and how grateful I'd be to get there... well, I probably would have done something like this. [Ted goes to every person involved and gives them a hug] Because somehow I ended up at the right place at the right time. And as a result, my life would never be the same. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 20: - Mosbius Designs Lily Aldrin: So tell me, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Narrator: And then Barney told the punchline. To this day, it's the dirtiest joke I've ever heard. And no, I'm not going to say it. Lily Aldrin: I can't be around you anymore. [Leaves] Barney Stinson: Aw, come on! Ted Mosby: Told ya. Barney Stinson: She'll be back. Narrator: And we didn't see Lily again for four weeks. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Fight Narrator: Kids, I'm not going to tell you a moral about how fighting is bad, because that would be pointless, but I will leave you with this: never get in a fight with Uncle Marshall, because that guy is freakin' crazy. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 5: - Shelter Island Narrator: Kids, usually a moral comes a the end of the story, but this one is so important I'm saying it now: never invite an ex to your wedding. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 16: - Sandcastles in the Sand Marshall Eriksen: Did he - and I'm trying to put this as delicately as possible - did he take your maple leaf? Robin Scherbatsky: No, nothing like that. Barney Stinson: Did he give you your first O Canada face? Narrator: This went on for quite a while. Some were sophisticated and elegant... Lily Aldrin: Were the two of you really Inuit? Narrator: Some were crude and ill-formed... Ted Mosby: Something about bear traps. Narrator: And some were obvious and needed to be said. Barney Stinson: Did you ride his zamboni? Marshall Eriksen: No, I think I'm all out. Ted Mosby: Me too. I'm all out. Now I'm out. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 12: - No Tomorrow Narrator: Some things you don't notice until they're pointed out, but once you notice it, you can't not notice it. Lily and Marshall's new apartment was crooked. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Dowisetrepla Narrator: Kids, everyone makes mistakes. Take this woman named Meg. She made a big mistake. A big mistake named Barney. |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Dowisetrepla Marshall Eriksen: Baby, real estate is always a sound investment. Narrator: It's not. Marshall Eriksen: And the market is really hot right now. Narrator: It wasn't. Marshall Eriksen: And because of my new job, we're in a good place finacially. Narrator: They weren't, because Lily had a secret. Lily Aldrin: Hi, I'm Lily, and I'm a shopaholic. |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Dowisetrepla Marshall Eriksen: I'm going to stop you right there. Don't bother with the hard sell. We can't afford this place just now, and besides, we just started looking. Narrator: Is what Marshall should have said. Marshall Eriksen: I'm going to stop you right there. I love it! We'll take it! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 5: - How I Met Everyone Else Narrator: Kids, in the fall of 2007 I went out with this girl. Her name was... God, I forget. It was twenty-five years ago, I can't be expected to remember everything. Anyway, it's not important, so for the purpose of this story we'll call her... Ted Mosby: Everyone, this is Blah Blah. Blah Blah: Please, just call me Blah. |
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