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 | Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Gregory House: Makes sense. Park's tiger mom and dad were so insufferable, she used to measure their affection in hours. Chase's careerist dad, and alcholoic mom were so indifferent, he's visibly awash. Your turn, what did you screwed up parents do to screw up your view of parenting? Dr. Jessica Adams: They were good parents. Dr. Gregory House: That's an oxymoron. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Gregory House: As much as I'd like to kill you by dangerously lowering your blood sugar, murder would violate my parole. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Chris Taub: You're 16, plenty of time to make money. Wanting to build a connection with your dad -pass on some of the joy he gave you. That's not stupid at all. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Jessica Adams: The part where he said that baby doesn't need *you*. You've only got her a few days a week. And most of that is spent with a rotating cast of nurses. Dr. Robert Chase: That's how daddy likes to spend his time too. Dr. Chris Taub: Shut up! |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Monroe: You gonna test my urine or what? Dr. Gregory House: [House takes the sample and takes a sip] Not diabetes. [to Chase and Taub] Use cross platettes to try and find the patient some blood that's closer to his own. And get the real story on clown senior's death. Mom's hiding something. Good bet that it's medically relevant. [House drinks more of the sample] Apple juice. Easiest way to fake a spike in blood sugar. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. James Wilson: Your biological father was a decent God-fearing minister. The man who raised you was a cold-hearted jerk. I'm trying to figure out why you're so convinced Adam has parentally inflicted damage. Dr. Gregory House: You're trying to deflect. Dr. James Wilson: No, you are. You have to believe that every parent screws up every child or you were screwed out of a decent childhood. Dr. Gregory House: My decent daddy of the cloth was also being indecent with my married mom. He probably would've taken all her kids to the playground. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Robert Chase: You know how I got interested in medicine? When my mother drank, she couldn't handle me, so she locked me in my father's study. Only so many hours you can cry and bang the door before you give up and try and find something to read. We all have family disfunction. That's why we're so successful- to fill the hole. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Chi Park: Do you only like tests that involve the risk of death. Dr. Gregory House: There are some slower less conclusive test, but why take that risk? |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Eric Foreman: My job is to be the jerk. House has to believe I have authority over him. Dr. James Wilson: He can't function under someone's thumb. Dr. Eric Foreman: I know which means you can't go either. [Wilson sits down] Your job is to be his friend -to stay here and watch the fight on pay-per-view while bitching about me. If we both do our jobs, we might actually get him through his parole. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Chris Taub: I didn't tell him. Dr. Gregory House: Your heart said he needed to know. Your brain knew he's better off without it. Following your heart is easy. Following your brain is tough. Especially after years of following that much smaller organ. That's why all parents screw up all children. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Gregory House: Your parents made you screwed up by not screwing you up. Dr. Jessica Adams: How does briefly wishing I was screwed up make me screwed up? Dr. Gregory House: It's normal to be screwed up. It's really screwed up to romanticize it. Guess that's why you wanted to work with prisoners. Dr. Jessica Adams: It's why I wanted to work with you. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Eric Foreman: As the new Dean of Medicine, I'd like to personally welcome our new employees, and ask why the Hell did you want to come back? Dr. Robert Chase: Tired of surfing. Dr. Eric Foreman: He hasn't changed. Dr. Robert Chase: And neither has the job, right? We still get to do crazy crap. Dr. Chris Taub: Save people's lives instead of just their noses. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Gregory House: [to Taub] Speaking of which, how are your two baby girls? Dr. Chi Park: Wow! Twins. Congratulations. Dr. Gregory House: [Fake stutter] Awkward. He knocked up two different women at the same time, at least that's what he thinks he did. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Chi Park: But it could end up causing another cardiac arrest. Dr. Gregory House: Hopefully, and we'll know what set it off. Dr. Robert Chase: What he means is, it's better to do it here where we can revive him than have it happen somewhere else. Dr. Gregory House: The prodigal son has returned. [House hugs Chase] |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Robert Chase: He's in too good a shape. We need to get him to the point he was at last night. Dr. Jessica Adams: Don't look at me. But if you want to... Dr. Robert Chase: Cute. But I didn't mean physical stress. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. James Wilson: [to Foreman as he's caring for Taub's babies] You ever hear me mention anything about wanting kids, please feel free to punch me in the liver. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Eric Foreman: What's House up to? He hasn't asked me for anything. He's been incredibly well behaved. He's doing his clinic hours. Dr. James Wilson: That *is* a sign of concern. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Jessica Adams: I know when House went to prison you quit medicine. You don't do that unless... Dr. Robert Chase: I didn't quit. I took a vacation. I knew when he got out, I'd get my job back. Dr. Jessica Adams: House didn't even know he'd be coming back. Dr. Robert Chase: I had faith. Dr. Jessica Adams: Now that has baggage stamped all over it. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Chris Taub: *My* kids loved the massage bed. Dr. Chi Park: Lab tests showed the bed tested positive for semen, vaginal secretions, fecal matter - both human and animal. Dr. Gregory House: Probably want to boil the kids for a few hours when you get home. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. James Wilson: Also he's started a betting pool on which kid is yours and which isn't. [Wilson chuckles slightly. Taub looks around] Dr. Chris Taub: An entire hospital betting on the legitimacy of my kids?... It's great to be back among friends. [Taub leaves. Wilson takes one of Taub's utensils, and starts to leave the cafeteria. Then he encounters Taub] Dr. James Wilson: I'm not the bad guy here. I'm betting on both of them being yours. [Taub takes the utensil back, and leaves] I would've donated the money to charity. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Eric Foreman: That falls under natural causes. If you kill him, we're looking at... Dr. Robert Chase: Dead is dead. Dr. Eric Foreman: Not as far as our lawyers are concerned. I'm not being a dick. This is a real issue. And I have to worry about the big picture. Dr. Robert Chase: I don't. I'll be doing what you would've done a year ago. I'll be in surgery. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Bob Harris: Well, if I'm going to die, I might as well do it with a clean soul. Dr. Chi Park: And if you live? You didn't just burn bridges, you torched, nuked and salted the Earth. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - The Confession Dr. Robert Chase: House is screwing with you - by not screwing with you. He's watching TV, and drinking martinis all night. Meanwhile, he's keeping you here searching for a plan that doesn't exist. Dr. Eric Foreman: How the Hell did I not see that?... I'm glad you're back. Dr. Robert Chase: Me too. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Gregory House: I claim this burger in the name of Queen Isabella of Spain. Dr. Jessica Adams: I'll go check on the patient. [as she gets up and House is about to bite down on her burger] I have hepatitis C. Dr. Chi Park: [as House is about to bite down on her burger instead] She got it from me. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Jessica Adams: Thad Barton? We only help rich white guys? Dr. Gregory House: I'm an equal opportunity exploiter. I only help those who can help me. I have a department to re-fund. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Gregory House: I heard about your conversation with the patient's daughter. You were hostile. Dr. Jessica Adams: Their company's making a decision I strongly disagree with. Dr. Gregory House: Yet you were nothing but courteous to the racists and rapists in prison. Those guys made decisions you support? |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Eric Foreman: What are you doing? Dr. Gregory House: Holding your ass. You really didn't know? Dr. Chi Park: House! Dr. Gregory House: Just trying to help you out of here. I figured sure he'd punch me in the face. Thus proving it's a natural response. My God! You have superhuman discipline - and glutes. Dr. Eric Foreman: Get your hands off of me. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Chi Park: First patriotism, now loyalty. You hate ice cream too? Dr. Gregory House: French Vanilla. To willfully identify yourself as something is a perversion of self-expression. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Jessica Adams: If... you double your clinic hours... 6 hours a week. I've seen how you disrespect those patients. Dr. Gregory House: So you want twice as many of them disrespected. Dr. Jessica Adams: Spend more time with them, you'll treat them more humanely. Dr. Gregory House: And this time the land war in Russia will be a good idea. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Risky Business Dr. Gregory House: Of course you know, this means war. Dr. Morgan: Oh I know. I mean you'll escalate, I'll retaliate. And the cycle will continue until we've *both* gone too far. At which point, maybe I'll be suspended, you'll go back to prison. Dr. Gregory House: Happy breaking. |
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