08x22 - Everyone Dies Season 8 / Episode 22: - Everyone Dies

Dr. James Wilson: When the cancer starts getting really bad...
Dr. Gregory House: Cancer's boring.
08x22 - Everyone Dies Season 8 / Episode 22: - Everyone Dies

Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Death is the opposite of a cool puzzle, it's eternal nothingness.
08x21 - Holding On Season 8 / Episode 21: - Holding On

Dr. Chris Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
Dr. Gregory House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?
08x21 - Holding On Season 8 / Episode 21: - Holding On

Dr. Gregory House: I need to turn Wilson from a terminal idiot to an interminable pain in the ass.
08x19 - The C-Word Season 8 / Episode 19: - The C-Word

Dr. James Wilson: Go away. I have a headache.
Dr. Gregory House: We don't have to have sex. Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk.
08x17 - We Need the Eggs Season 8 / Episode 17: - We Need the Eggs

Dr. Chi Park: Have you ever paid for sex?
Dr. Chris Taub: Every guy who has ever seen a Merchant-Ivory movie has paid for sex
08x14 - Love is Blind Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind

Blythe House: [Greg's mom answers a knock on her hotel room door in a bath robe, & Greg enters to see a white-haired man in the bed] You remember Mr Bell?
Dr. Gregory House: If I didn't, I will now.
08x14 - Love is Blind Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind

Dr. Jessica Adams: We see people with disabilities all the time, but seeing and understanding are not the same.
Dr. Robert Chase: Are you talking to me, or writing a Facebook post?
08x14 - Love is Blind Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind

Dr. Gregory House: How long were you gonna wait before you told me?
Dr. James Wilson: I thought we already had the 'Santa Claus' talk.
08x14 - Love is Blind Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind

Dr. Gregory House: You know what this means?
Dr. James Wilson: Your mom's a slut?
Dr. Gregory House: That, and she's not as boring as I thought she was.
08x13 - Man of the House Season 8 / Episode 13: - Man of the House

Dr. Chi Park: So, nobody cares about the position until I apply, and suddenly it's the last limited-edition lightsabre at ComiCon?
08x12 - Chase Season 8 / Episode 12: - Chase

Dr. Gregory House: Plaques... can be mistaken for nodules... which means
Dr. Robert Chase: Syphilis
Dr. Robert Chase: explains the shoulder and foot involvement. Hope you practiced immaculate contraception
08x09 - Better Half Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half

Dr. Gregory House: With great power comes great micromanaging.
08x09 - Better Half Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half

Dr. Jessica Adams: Sex releases oxytocin. It's the neuromechanical basis for bonding.
Dr. Gregory House: And that's why men always marry their right hands.
Dr. Jessica Adams: It's different for girls.
Dr. Chi Park: No, it's not. I've tapped over thirty guys and never want to see most of them again. [House looks up from microscope, and Adams looks at Park] I live next door to a Jewish frat.
08x09 - Better Half Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half

Dr. Jessica Adams: Thirty?
Dr. Chi Park: [shrugs] Everybody lies.
Dr. Jessica Adams: Higher or lower?
08x08 - Perils of Paranoia Season 8 / Episode 8: - Perils of Paranoia

Dr. Robert Chase: He's not *in* prison; It's kinda hard to gas a guy unless you can seal him in a room first.
Dr. Gregory House: Which is why Arceus created the universe with three states of matter, and three hundred solid and liquid poisons that could cause these symptoms.
Dr. Chris Taub: Arceus?
Dr. Gregory House: [takes a sip of tea] Look it up.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Eric Foreman: 14 year old girl - intermittent attacks.
Dr. Gregory House: 4 year old boy - consistently at death's door.
Dr. Jessica Adams: [Foreman starts to walk away] This patient died 5 years ago. [Foreman returns and puts the file on House's desk]
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't say which side of the door he was on.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Chris Taub: [to Faye about Iris] Anti-anxiety medications would explain it. If we keep her off it, she'll be moody, but healthy. [Iris vomits in the background] Or it's something else.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Gregory House: I need to DDX a patient with you.
Dr. James Wilson: I thought you had a team for that.
Dr. Gregory House: According to Foreman, they're only for DDXing people who are still alive.
Dr. James Wilson: ...You have a dead patient?
Dr. Gregory House: Bigotry is boring when we add modifiers. I don't see creed, color, pulse.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Gregory House: [to Emory] You're angry because your kid died - more than that because you don't have an answer. People need answers.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. James Wilson: You're an addict. And I'm an idiot for thinking your addictions were limited to pills, anti-social behavior and sarcasm.
Dr. Gregory House: [House belches] Sorry Vicodin repeating on me.
Dr. James Wilson: You're also addicted to puzzles. You show all the classic behaviors: lying, neglecting responsibilities, and you can't stop - no matter how desvesting the consequences.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Emory: Aren't there actual medical tests?
Dr. Gregory House: Dead patients usually get lower standard of care. Pink means lead. Orange means mercury. And rust mean arsenic.
Emory: What's brown mean?
Dr. Gregory House: [Picking up the glass] Scotch.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. James Wilson: Why do you care if he works on two cases?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Because next it'll be 3 cases, then 4. Then animal cases and ghost cases. And then animal ghost cases. Assuming we are talking about House.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Gregory House: I found out where your boyfriend lives. When I paid him a visit, he took off. Ran in front of a car.
Iris: You're lying.
Dr. Gregory House: He's down in the ER right now.
Iris: Shut up you lying sack of crap.
Faye: Iris!
Dr. Gregory House: How do you know I'm lying? How do you know your boyfriend's okay?
Iris: 'Cause I'm right here, you dick!
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Gregory House: What idiot did the pregnancy test?
Dr. Jessica Adams: I did one of them. Chase did another. Taub did a third. 3 tests, 3 positives. What happened to your eye?
Dr. Gregory House: I grabbed Park's ass.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. James Wilson: Two trains are about to collide and I'm trying to talk them out of it.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Gregory House: You're right.
Dr. James Wilson: You don't even know what I just said.
Dr. Gregory House: That is ridiculous. You said "Blah blah blah blah. Deaf ears. Blah blah blah blah." Absolutely essential information.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Dr. Eric Foreman: Which means it's too late for me to back down. It's no longer my choice. It's just me - telling me he can get away with anything... I have to send him to prison.
Dr. James Wilson: [Wilson sighs and rises] Your job is to keep this machine running. It's your choice to make House a useful tool, or a monkey wrench. Cuddy's way didn't fail. Because she didn't try to control House. She *managed* him. She knew better than anyone what tool he can be.
08x07 - Dead & Buried Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried

Milton: I prepared the sarcophagus for you.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you, Igor.
Milton: It's Milton.
08x06 - Parents Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents

Dr. Gregory House: I'm going to say it was the ex-girlfriend you cheated on - not the ex-wife you cheated with. Because if the latter was prone to violence, you would've been scattered across various dumpsters years ago.
Dr. Chris Taub: [Looking around to the rest of the team] Seriously? No one wants to talk about the patient? New office furniture, we need a new topic.
Dr. Robert Chase: [Pulling out his wallet] What's the action on the ex-wife?