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 | Season 8 / Episode 22: - Everyone Dies Dr. James Wilson: When the cancer starts getting really bad... Dr. Gregory House: Cancer's boring. |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - Everyone Dies Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Death is the opposite of a cool puzzle, it's eternal nothingness. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 21: - Holding On Dr. Chris Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain. Dr. Gregory House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it? |
| Season 8 / Episode 21: - Holding On Dr. Gregory House: I need to turn Wilson from a terminal idiot to an interminable pain in the ass. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 19: - The C-Word Dr. James Wilson: Go away. I have a headache. Dr. Gregory House: We don't have to have sex. Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 17: - We Need the Eggs Dr. Chi Park: Have you ever paid for sex? Dr. Chris Taub: Every guy who has ever seen a Merchant-Ivory movie has paid for sex |
 | Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind Blythe House: [Greg's mom answers a knock on her hotel room door in a bath robe, & Greg enters to see a white-haired man in the bed] You remember Mr Bell? Dr. Gregory House: If I didn't, I will now. |
| Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind Dr. Jessica Adams: We see people with disabilities all the time, but seeing and understanding are not the same. Dr. Robert Chase: Are you talking to me, or writing a Facebook post? |
| Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind Dr. Gregory House: How long were you gonna wait before you told me? Dr. James Wilson: I thought we already had the 'Santa Claus' talk. |
| Season 8 / Episode 14: - Love is Blind Dr. Gregory House: You know what this means? Dr. James Wilson: Your mom's a slut? Dr. Gregory House: That, and she's not as boring as I thought she was. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 13: - Man of the House Dr. Chi Park: So, nobody cares about the position until I apply, and suddenly it's the last limited-edition lightsabre at ComiCon? |
 | Season 8 / Episode 12: - Chase Dr. Gregory House: Plaques... can be mistaken for nodules... which means Dr. Robert Chase: Syphilis Dr. Robert Chase: explains the shoulder and foot involvement. Hope you practiced immaculate contraception |
 | Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half Dr. Gregory House: With great power comes great micromanaging. |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half Dr. Jessica Adams: Sex releases oxytocin. It's the neuromechanical basis for bonding. Dr. Gregory House: And that's why men always marry their right hands. Dr. Jessica Adams: It's different for girls. Dr. Chi Park: No, it's not. I've tapped over thirty guys and never want to see most of them again. [House looks up from microscope, and Adams looks at Park] I live next door to a Jewish frat. |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Better Half Dr. Jessica Adams: Thirty? Dr. Chi Park: [shrugs] Everybody lies. Dr. Jessica Adams: Higher or lower? |
 | Season 8 / Episode 8: - Perils of Paranoia Dr. Robert Chase: He's not *in* prison; It's kinda hard to gas a guy unless you can seal him in a room first. Dr. Gregory House: Which is why Arceus created the universe with three states of matter, and three hundred solid and liquid poisons that could cause these symptoms. Dr. Chris Taub: Arceus? Dr. Gregory House: [takes a sip of tea] Look it up. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Eric Foreman: 14 year old girl - intermittent attacks. Dr. Gregory House: 4 year old boy - consistently at death's door. Dr. Jessica Adams: [Foreman starts to walk away] This patient died 5 years ago. [Foreman returns and puts the file on House's desk] Dr. Gregory House: I didn't say which side of the door he was on. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Chris Taub: [to Faye about Iris] Anti-anxiety medications would explain it. If we keep her off it, she'll be moody, but healthy. [Iris vomits in the background] Or it's something else. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Gregory House: I need to DDX a patient with you. Dr. James Wilson: I thought you had a team for that. Dr. Gregory House: According to Foreman, they're only for DDXing people who are still alive. Dr. James Wilson: ...You have a dead patient? Dr. Gregory House: Bigotry is boring when we add modifiers. I don't see creed, color, pulse. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Gregory House: [to Emory] You're angry because your kid died - more than that because you don't have an answer. People need answers. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. James Wilson: You're an addict. And I'm an idiot for thinking your addictions were limited to pills, anti-social behavior and sarcasm. Dr. Gregory House: [House belches] Sorry Vicodin repeating on me. Dr. James Wilson: You're also addicted to puzzles. You show all the classic behaviors: lying, neglecting responsibilities, and you can't stop - no matter how desvesting the consequences. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Emory: Aren't there actual medical tests? Dr. Gregory House: Dead patients usually get lower standard of care. Pink means lead. Orange means mercury. And rust mean arsenic. Emory: What's brown mean? Dr. Gregory House: [Picking up the glass] Scotch. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. James Wilson: Why do you care if he works on two cases? Dr. Eric Foreman: Because next it'll be 3 cases, then 4. Then animal cases and ghost cases. And then animal ghost cases. Assuming we are talking about House. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Gregory House: I found out where your boyfriend lives. When I paid him a visit, he took off. Ran in front of a car. Iris: You're lying. Dr. Gregory House: He's down in the ER right now. Iris: Shut up you lying sack of crap. Faye: Iris! Dr. Gregory House: How do you know I'm lying? How do you know your boyfriend's okay? Iris: 'Cause I'm right here, you dick! |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Gregory House: What idiot did the pregnancy test? Dr. Jessica Adams: I did one of them. Chase did another. Taub did a third. 3 tests, 3 positives. What happened to your eye? Dr. Gregory House: I grabbed Park's ass. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. James Wilson: Two trains are about to collide and I'm trying to talk them out of it. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Gregory House: You're right. Dr. James Wilson: You don't even know what I just said. Dr. Gregory House: That is ridiculous. You said "Blah blah blah blah. Deaf ears. Blah blah blah blah." Absolutely essential information. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Dr. Eric Foreman: Which means it's too late for me to back down. It's no longer my choice. It's just me - telling me he can get away with anything... I have to send him to prison. Dr. James Wilson: [Wilson sighs and rises] Your job is to keep this machine running. It's your choice to make House a useful tool, or a monkey wrench. Cuddy's way didn't fail. Because she didn't try to control House. She *managed* him. She knew better than anyone what tool he can be. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Dead & Buried Milton: I prepared the sarcophagus for you. Dr. Gregory House: Thank you, Igor. Milton: It's Milton. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 6: - Parents Dr. Gregory House: I'm going to say it was the ex-girlfriend you cheated on - not the ex-wife you cheated with. Because if the latter was prone to violence, you would've been scattered across various dumpsters years ago. Dr. Chris Taub: [Looking around to the rest of the team] Seriously? No one wants to talk about the patient? New office furniture, we need a new topic. Dr. Robert Chase: [Pulling out his wallet] What's the action on the ex-wife? |
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