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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Angel: I'm homesick. I miss Ohio. I miss Mom. I miss Dad. I miss Pokey, the parakeet. Animal: That parakeet's been dead for ten years. Angel: And you don't find that sad? Animal: I'll tell you what's sad. Breaking a date for three weeks in a row with Sally Cooper just so we can bring home some extra work. Now that's sad. Angel: In my opinion, Sally Cooper is a slut. Animal: I happily share that opinion. |
| Unknown Episode: Louise: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Awww, who's going to go out with the virgin?" Well I'll have you know there are plenty of adult virgins who have active social lives. Heddy: Oh yeah - all those Star Trek conventions. |
| Unknown Episode: Jay Nichols: Hey, as long as there are illegal aliens who want citizenship, Jay Nichols will have a date. |
| Unknown Episode: Herman Brooks: Jay, there are certain occasions when its better not to think about having sex with someone. Jay Nichols: Sure there are. Family reunions. |
| Unknown Episode: Jay Nichols: Can you believe this party? Never seen so many things I wanna put in my mouth at one time. |
| Unknown Episode: Jay Nichols: Oh, boy. Whenever I meet a girl's father, it's always the same story. First, he offers me money not to see her. Herman Brooks: Yeah? Then what happens? Jay Nichols: I take the money. |
| Unknown Episode: Jay Nichols: Okay! Time to meet Lita Ford. Herman Brooks: Oh, you really think you're gonna walk right up to her and meet her? Jay Nichols: Got it all figured out, Herm. I bump into her, introduce myself; she'll fall for me and we'll eventually marry. I'll grow my hair long, get a few tattoos, go to celebrity parties, become an alcoholic... then she'll leave me and it'll end in a bitter divorce. Herman Brooks: Okay, so walk right up to her and meet her. Jay Nichols: You kidding me? That bitch ruined my life. |
| Unknown Episode: Herman Brooks: Rebecca Woods. She was the most beautiful freshman on campus. Jay Nichols: Did ya bag her? Herman Brooks: Jay, I don't "bag" women. Jay Nichols: I'm sorry. Did ya nail her? |
| Unknown Episode: Herman: Look at what they did to my apartment! Someone is going to pay for this. Jay: I think it's going to be you, Herm. |
| Unknown Episode: Heddy: Herman, aren't you afraid to be here alone? Herman: No, not any more. Now that I have "Little Herman" here. Louise: Is that a real gun? Herman: Yeah! Louise: I can't believe you own a gun! Heddy: I can't believe you call it "Little Herman." |
| Unknown Episode: Herman: I think if we have sex, it'll ruin our friendship. Louise: Why? Are you that bad? |
| Unknown Episode: Model: Herman, are you gay? Herman: Are you kidding? Look at how this apartment is decorated. |
| Unknown Episode: Herman: I'm having a little trouble..."hoisting my mainsail." Jay: You have a boat? |
| Unknown Episode: Louise: Wow, Jay, I always knew you had one, but I didn't realize it was so small! Jay: Hey! Louise: Oh, no. I meant your appendectomy scar! That... very nice. |
| Unknown Episode: Angel: Oh, no. Animal: Oh, yes. Wimp: Oh, God. Genius: Oh, well. |
| Unknown Episode: Louise: Herman, I don't sound like Lisa Simpson, do I? |
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