Gunsmoke Quotes

Gunsmoke

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 20 / Episode 7: - The Iron Men Marshal Matt Dillon: [Matt has shot and wounded Kane, a hired gun] Hold it. Drop the gun belt. Kane: [removes belt] You sure don't leave a man a lot, do ya? Marshal Matt Dillon: You didn't bring a lot with you.
	Season 19 / Episode 12: - Susan Was Evil Susan: [Dudley is packing his things to leave] Dudley, where are you going? Dudley: Away. Susan: Yesterday, you said you had some money? And that you'd take me to the city? I'll go with you now. Dudley: That was yesterday, Miss Susan. Today, I wouldn't have you on a whiskey bet.
	Season 19 / Episode 6: - Kitty's Love Affair Kitty Russell: I need some answers. The scales are getting out of whack. It's hard to throw away eighteen years. Marshal Matt Dillon: Yeah. Kitty Russell: I know what that badge means to you, to this town, to everyone, but I'm thinking of us. I was just a kid when we met, Matt, and I was gonna live forever. I knew how things had to be with us and it was all right, but I thought that someday, some far off someday, that things would change. Well, Matt, my somedays are almost gone. I guess what I'm asking is for you to tell me to say "no" to Will Stambridge. Marshal Matt Dillon: Kitty, you know how I feel, but that's a decision you're gonna have to make for yourself.
	Season 18 / Episode 22: - Jesse Marshal Matt Dillon: [in bed at the start of the show, after listening to target practice outside and Festus snoring inside] I'm caught between a shootout and a sawmill!
	Season 18 / Episode 9: - Milligan Tom, Girl: [Tom and Girl, along with other school children, follow Wendy Milligan taunting her] Jack, Jack, never coming back! Milligan, killin' again, shot him in the back!
	Season 17 / Episode 11: - Drago Drago: He looks fine. Dr. John Chapman: He is. He just started gettin' well right after you talked to him. You know, Drago, as a doctor it might me if I knew what you said to him. Drago: I just told him there weren't no catfish in heaven.
	Season 17 / Episode 5: - New Doctor in Town Kitty Russell: Living in Dodge has been the most rewarding experience of my life, but I've been so out of touch with modern medicine that when I arrived in Baltimore I felt like a schoolboy. I suddenly realized how little I know about medicine and how much has passed me by in the last twenty years... and that's why I've decided to stay on here at the university. Newly O'Brien: This letter is the only way I know of to tell you my decision. I'll be gone from Dodge for a while. I don't know for how long, but it will not be forever. I will be back... and I'll think of you very often. I pray all of you will remember with affection, your old friend, Doc.
	Season 16 / Episode 16: - Captain Sligo Leonard: [Stopping an old drunken sailor walking down the street.] Hold it there, sailor. Now, me and Mr. Tanner got to thinking that you might be missing your whaling days. So, first, Tanner's gonna whale ya, then I'm gonna whale ya.
	Season 16 / Episode 13: - The Noon Day Devil Father Herando Cantrell: How dare you attempt to crass me. Heraclio Cantrell: How dare you attempt to buff me.
	Season 16 / Episode 13: - The Noon Day Devil Heraclio Cantrell: Well, it brother priest and brother jackass. Father Herando Cantrell: Yes this's brother bird.
	Season 16 / Episode 9: - The Gun Marshal Matt Dillon: You got what you came to see.
	Season 15 / Episode 15: - The War Priest Sergeant Emmet Holly: What's a matter, is it too late in the day to kill or is it too early in the evening to die?
	Season 15 / Episode 14: - The Sisters Festus Haggen: [Talking about a smelly mountain man] Matthew, that Pack Landers is the type of feller you gotta walk upwind of even if there ain't no breeze a blowin'.
	Season 15 / Episode 14: - The Sisters Festus Haggen: [Talking about a mean, smelly mountain man] Matthew, that Pack Landers is the sort of feller you've got to walk upwind of even if there ain't no breeze a blowin'.
	Season 13 / Episode 23: - The First People John Eagle Wing: We stand on ground of Kira Kirish - the first people... I, Eagle Wing, am Kira Kirish. Before me there was nothing; after me come all other men. Since there was time, this is so. One day my people, Kira Kirish, will cease to be. One day, they will be nothing but a memory and yet another day even that memory will die... All I ask is dignity for the passing of Kira Kirish.
	Season 13 / Episode 17: - Deadman's Law Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: For twelve years you've had law and order in Dodge City because one man enforced the law. Now that he's not here, you're willing to give the town away to the first incompetent that comes along with a shot gun and is anxious to use it.
	Season 13 / Episode 17: - Deadman's Law Kitty Russell: You said yourself that you didn't see who did it. Sam Noonan: Is there any doubt? Kitty Russell: There isn't any proof either. Sam Noonan: I'll make sure that works both ways. Kitty Russell: When's it going to stop? Sam Noonan: Somebody's got to do it.
	Season 13 / Episode 17: - Deadman's Law Sam Wall: There isn't a jury in the world that will believe what he said. Marshal Matt Dillon: You wanna bet?
	Season 13 / Episode 17: - Deadman's Law Festus Haggen: I just thought... Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Don't think! That's when you get dangerous.
	Season 13 / Episode 17: - Deadman's Law Festus Haggen: That's just proof right there that us Haggens knows a heap more about some things than folks gives us credit for. Festus Haggen: Well, I could cure him, if he'd listen to me.
	Season 13 / Episode 3: - The Prodigal Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: How much is it going to cost me to have 'em fixed? Festus Haggen: Shouldn't 'mount t'much; fifty cents'll do... Soakin' in the crik a few hours'll swell them spokes back tight as pin feathers on a prairie chicken's rump. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Soakin' in the crik? Festus Haggen: Sure. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: And while you're sitting there, letting the wheels soak, I suppose you'll do a little fishing? Festus Haggen: Now that you mention it... Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: So I end up paying you fifty cents to fish. Festus Haggen: Well, Doc, I'm gonna have t'dig me some worms, catch me some grasshoppers. That's tirin'. If it wasn't for them wheels needin' soakin', I wouldn't have to....
	Season 13 / Episode 2: - Cattle Barons Festus Haggen: Mr. Cumberledge, you don't know us Haggens, or ya wouldn't say such a thing. Like Great-Unke Herkle said, "Catch a Haggen in a lie, 'n' a thunderbolt'll hit him from th' clear, blue sky. Luke Cumberledge: What happened to Great-Uncle Herkle? Festus Haggen: Well, they's some say that this thunderbolt came up real suddenlike one time....
	Season 12 / Episode 21: - The Favor Marshal Matt Dillon: Mister, you're going back pig or pork, now make up your mind!
	Season 10 / Episode 5: - Doctor's Wife Jennifer May: There's nothing wrong with being important and making money. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Not a thing. But, maybe, if that's all you want, you came to the wrong place. I'm here because I like the town. I like the people in it - not because I'm getting rich on them. Jennifer May: Before we came you were the only doctor here. You must have making plenty of money. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I think you've got the wrong idea about Dodge. You haven't seen the shacks, the dirt farmers bending their backs out of shape trying to get something - anything - to grow out of that dust and rock. The women looking fifteen years older than they are... You know my usual fee? A bunch of greens, maybe a skinned rabbit, sometimes a sack of potatoes - but usually it's just a handshake and, "Sorry, Doc, but I'll pay you something soon as I can." Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Look here, I've got a couple of calls to make outside of town. I'd like you to go with me.
	Season 8 / Episode 13: - Us Haggens Black Jack Haggen: I remember when you was six years old and I bought you that pair of boots up from Jaliscoe. Genuine leather they was - first pair of boots you ever owned. Why, you was so proud of them you wouldn't even take 'em off to go to bed at night. Festus Haggen: Ahh, boots is just boots and that was a long time ago. Black Jack Haggen: Gonna grow up to be just like old Uncle Jack, that's what you used to tell everybody. Festus Haggen: I never was real smart when I was a kid!
	Season 7 / Episode 2: - Old Yellow Boots Chester Goode: What's the matter with you this morning? Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I got a pain, Doc, right in there... Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, well, why didn't you come upstairs? Chester Goode: Oh no. Oh no, I couldn't do that. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No, you'd rather stand out here in pain all day, wouldn't you. You'd rather hang around hoping to catch me on the fly than come up and make a regular visit. Chester Goode: Doc, it ain't that. I just couldn't climb them stairs, the shape I'm in. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: And the pain... it's so bad you couldn't bear to put your hand in your pocket for the two dollars you'll owe me, could you?
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - Perce Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: If I'd known you were coming, I'd have left something, Chester Chester Goode: I was only trying to figure out what you had to eat. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: You could ask me. Chester Goode: Oh. Well, what was it? Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I don't know. Chester Goode: What! Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I ordered beef stew, but what they brought me I couldn't say.
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - Perce Kitty Russell: Well, it looks like another good night for us. Chester Goode: Miss Kitty, you must be about the richest woman in the entire world. Kitty Russell: You think I'd be working if I was rich? Chester Goode: You'll always be working... You couldn't quit. Not even if you got married. Kitty Russell: I'd like to have the choice, Chester. I'd like that very much, at least. Chester Goode: Why, you could get married anytime you wanted. Any man'd be a fool not to have you. Kitty Russell: [looking up] Here comes one now.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Bad Seed Trudy Trent: It's a palace of joy, this place, ain't it Marshal? You know how we spent last Christmas? He got drunk and set fire to me! Honest, if I hadn't run out in that snow, I would've burned up. And then he wouldn't let me back in and I near froze to death! Asa Trent: [Lecherously touches Trudy's neck] Taught you to be a good little girl! Trudy Trent: Oh yeah, Pa, it was the best Christmas I ever spent! I won't never forget it!
	Season 6 / Episode 10: - Distant Drummer Chester: Well, at least Raffie's gonna have plenty to eat and someplace to sleep now. You know, he must've had a pretty terrible time in the war. Doc: Yeah, I guess it addled him some, too.

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