Lisa Douglas

Green Acres

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Played by:

Eva Gabor
Of the fabled trio of Gabor sisters, Eva was the "good Gabor." She arrived in the US in the 1930s and ...

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Lisa Douglas Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 27: - Kimball Gets Fired Lisa Douglas: [Lisa is pushing a vacuum cleaner around the front room of the house] Would you put your foot up... your foots up? Put your feets up. Oliver Douglas: What's the matter with the vacuum? Lisa Douglas: Nothing. Oliver Douglas: It's not making any noise. Lisa Douglas: Well it only makes a noise when it's plugged in. Oliver Douglas: Well if it's not plugged in, it's not going to pick up the dirt. Lisa Douglas: There isn't any dirt. Oliver Douglas: Well then why are you vacuuming? Lisa Douglas: I am not! It's not plugged in!
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Water, Water Everywhere Lisa Douglas: In the old country, they don't look for water with a stick. They do it scientifically. Oliver Douglas: Oh? Lisa Douglas: They put a goldfish in a shoe, and then they throw the shoe out the window. Oliver Douglas: That's scientific? Lisa Douglas: Of course! And then the goldfish swims upstream until it finds the water. Oliver Douglas: Mm hmm. Now... uh... how does he swim upstream if there's no water? Lisa Douglas: His friends help him.
	Unknown Episode: Lisa Douglas: Why do you want to irritate your corn? Oliver Douglas: Irrigate. It means put water on it. Lisa Douglas: Won't that irritate it?
	Unknown Episode: Eb Dawson: Morning! Breakfast ready? Lisa Douglas: Yes. Eb Dawson: Well, let's have the hotcakes and get it over with. Lisa Douglas: We're not having any hotscakes this morning. Oliver Douglas: No hotcakes? Lisa Douglas: I've made something different. Oliver Douglas: Hey, wonderful! Eb Dawson: Let's not go off half-cocked till we get a look at it. Oliver Douglas: Knock it off, anything's better than the hotcakes. Lisa Douglas: Here we are. [Holds up what looks like a long, lumpy pastry on a baking sheet] Oliver Douglas: It looks like a boa constrictor with lumps. Lisa Douglas: That's the last time I cook you a Spanish omelette.
	Unknown Episode: Oliver Douglas: Why don't we give away this one? Lisa Douglas: No that's the dress I graduated from high school in. Oliver Douglas: How about this one? Lisa Douglas: That's the dress I wore the first day of college. Oliver Douglas: [holding a black, low-cut dress] What about this one? Lisa Douglas: That's the one I got expelled in.
	Unknown Episode: Lisa Douglas: Are you happy with the corns I strung for you? Oliver Douglas: Lisa, you're supposed to take the kernels off the cob and string them. Lisa Douglas: Well, don't blame me, I never did it before. In the old country, we used to string caviar. Oliver Douglas: Caviar? Lisa Douglas: We'd have caviar on one string and crackers on the other... Oliver Douglas: Oh, for... Lisa Douglas: And then we'd play the Hungarian Christmas game called 'Smear the crackers with caviar.'
	Unknown Episode: Lisa Douglas: When you married me you knew that I couldn't cook, I couldn't sew, and I couldn't keep house. All I could do was talk Hungarian and do imitations of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Oliver Douglas: Who?
	Unknown Episode: Lisa Douglas: Could you keep it a secret from my husband? You see, I want to surprise him. Ralph Monroe: My lips are sealed. Hank Kimball: Now if we could only keep them that way. Ralph Monroe: If you weren't so sexy, I'd beat your brains out!
	Unknown Episode: Oliver Wendell Douglass: [after watching a "conversation" between Lisa and an oinking Arnold] How can you carry on a conversation with him? I can't understand a thing he's saying! Lisa Douglas: That's because you don't LISTEN!

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