Cappie

GREEK

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Played by:

Scott M. Foster

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Cappie Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 19: - No Campus for Old Rules Cappie: You know Fun, Ev's? F...U... Evan: ...N? Cappie: Nope...That's It.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Freshman Daze Cappie: Listen to the name, Spitter, it's a "Ball." Like a testicle. I don't want to go to a testicle!
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Freshman Daze Cappie: Ok, so there's this all Greek ball this weekend... but we're not going. Rusty Cartwright: Yeah! No. Why aren't we going? Cappie: Listen to the name, Spitter. It's a ball, like a testicle. I don't wanna go to a testicle.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Highway to the Discomfort Zone Rebecca Logan: My answer is yes! Cappie: Was the question, wanna get naked?
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - The Great Cappie Cappie: Downstairs will be a once-in-a-lifetime down-and-dirty secret prohibition party - in our oh-so-humble grotto. The Beaver: A what party? Cappie: ...a prohibition party, uh, a speakeasy. Cappie: All right, look. Here's how it's gonna work. Upstairs is gonna be the authority-pleasing, yawn-inducing Great Gatsby party, but downstairs will be a delightful, delicious den of iniquity. Rusty Cartwright: You've heard of the 18th Amendment? You know alcohol was illegal in the 20s? The Beaver: No? The Beaver: Is that why they call it the Great Depression?
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - A New Normal Cappie: It's bros and Cheesoritos before hos.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Black & White and Read All Over Cappie: Your honor, I object! Dean Bowman: To? Cappie: Well, jean shorts. Dane Cook, highly objectionable.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Black & White and Read All Over Evan: The Dean is so close to shutting us down and your mouthing! Cappie: Would you quit your bellyaching Evelyn? Your parties are so lame anyway, what do you have to lose?
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Depth Perception Cappie: [when asked what he associates with the sound of a baby crying] Evan Chambers losing his allowance.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Depth Perception Cappie: Weekend with the senator's daughter...sounds kinky.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Separation Anxiety Rusty Cartwright: [talking about love] How do you know when you mean it? Cappie: I don't know, I guess it's a kind of burning, itching sensation. But in a good way.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Separation Anxiety Rusty Cartwright: I think I'm ready to use the L word with Jen. Cappie: That's a pretty bold move, what makes you think she's a lesbian?
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Separation Anxiety Rusty Cartwright: I think I'm ready to use the L-word with Jen. Cappie: That's a pretty bold move. What makes you think she's a lesbian, and is that a dealbreaker for you?! Rusty Cartwright: Not that L-word. I wanna tell her I love her. Cappie: Look, if you need to say "I love you", call your mom.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Separation Anxiety Cappie: I had a little minx once. She was the fairest of all forest creature. But I let her get away. [slaps himself] Bad Cappie.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Multiple Choice Rusty Cartwright: Casey got lavaliered by Evan. Casey Cartwright: Hey, that's supposed to be a secret. Rusty Cartwright: Why'd you tell me? Casey Cartwright: Good question. Cappie: Congrats, Case. Casey Cartwright: Thanks. Cappie: Your kids will be very... Aryan.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Multiple Choice Cappie: [as Keanu Reeves circa “Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure”] Prometheus: a most historic Greek god dude who journeyed on a most excellent quest to bring fire to mankind only to incur the wrath of the odious Zeus who chained the dude on yonder mountaintop while an eagle egregiously scarfed the dude's liver up for, like, infinity. [beat] Yeah, I full-on read Campbell's book. Casey Cartwright: Since this morning? That's impossible. Cappie: A most bodacious masterpiece with many pages in which I forgoed an afternoon of non-bogus fun.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Multiple Choice Cappie: What's the harm in taking one little bite of an apple?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Multiple Choice Cappie: [to Rusty and Casey] Oh! Look at this! The Cartwright kids! You know, you two should band together and solve mysteries, fight crime! You've got the perfect name for it, there's a sketchy janitor who I think is up to something...
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Multiple Choice Cappie: [after Rusty tells him that Evan is planning on giving Casey his letters] Congrats Case, your kids will be very Aryan.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Liquid Courage Cappie: So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours. Rusty Cartwright: I can do that! Cappie: Your fly's open.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Liquid Courage The Campus Cop: I need your noise permit for the Vesuvius party. Cappie: Are you yankin' me? Since when does that rule get enforced? The Campus Cop: Since I was hired. Cappie: Oh, okay. I get it. So, uh, Officer Huck. You look like you could use a little break. You wanna come in we'll set you up with a nice cold beer? That's what Officer Bob always did. Where is Good Old Bob anyway? The Campus Cop: Rehab. Cappie: Oh.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Liquid Courage Gladys: That's a very jazzy jacket. No one wears madras anymore. Cappie: More's the pity! And might I say the same about your lovely sweater; why did they stop putting sequins on wool?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Casey Cartwright: Um, I think I want an iced coffee. Cappie: Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Evan: Kappa Taus win. On a technicality. Shocker. Cappie: Don't worry, we'll beat you gals fair and square. Evan: Oh like you've ever beaten us at anything. Cappie: One word: Beer pong. Evan: You are a joke, do you know that? The Beaver: And you're a jerkoff. Cappie: No, it's all right Beaver. I mean, if Spitter can take him down with a paddle, I think I can take care of myself. Evan: Yeah, well, it's just too bad you couldn't take care of Casey. Cappie: Now why would you have to go and bring that... The Beaver: He took care of her. All night long during rush. Cappie: Down, Beav. Evan: I'll see you on the court.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Cappie: It's a big game, Spitter. It's bigger than all of us. It's a classic battle between good and Evan.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Cappie: If he's dead do we win automatically?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Cappie: Oh, Rusty. If you get the ball go that way. [points] Rusty Cartwright: Please don't hit it to me. Casey Cartwright: [in the stands] Please don't hit it to him.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Casey Cartwright: [to Rebecca] Um, I think I wanted iced coffee. Cappie: Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Cappie: Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks? Rusty Cartwright: Yea. Cappie: Good, cause I can't, which might be a sign of a concussion.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Picking Teams Cappie: Drunk people don't feel pain. And neither do Scotsmen!

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