Dan Humphrey

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Penn Badgley
Born in Baltimore, Maryland, Badgley split his childhood years between Richmond, Virginia. and Seattle, ...

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Dan Humphrey Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 23: - The Wrath of Con Dan Humphrey: Okay, someone needs to get this crazy girl out of here.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Age of Dissonance Dan Humphrey: You called Yale? You sent that blast in to Gossip Girl to get revenge against Blair? I believed in you. All your talk about integrity and ideals. Rachel Carr: My ideals? Blair spread false rumors, blackmailed the entire school, turned my job into a sham with no repercussions. She's a psychopath with no remorse, no regret, no shame or guilt for her selfish actions. Dan Humphrey: My God. You're just as bad as she is. No, you're worse. Blair is a high school student. You're an adult. You need to fix things with Blair. Rachel Carr: Absolutely not! Blair got what she deserved. Dan Humphrey: You know how you felt when you ideals were crushed? Well, congratulations. You've crushed mine.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - You’ve Got Yale! Serena van der Woodsen: I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you are going to Yale. You got in. In early admission. Blair Waldorf: What? Dan Humphrey: How do you know that? Serena van der Woodsen: Because I declined my acceptance. You're next in line. They're gonna call you in a couple of hours. Dan Humphrey: Whoa. You got in. Blair Waldorf: You're the Constance student? [Turns to minions] Cancel the Nelly Yuki project now!
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - You’ve Got Yale! Nate Archibald: [about Vanessa] I saw a DVD of 'The Ring Cycle' at her house and I figured she might like some champagne in my family's box. Dan Humphrey: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD though, because I pointed it out once and she made me watch the whole thing with no sub-titles. If you've ever seen "A Clockwork Orange" then you know how that ended up. Nate Archibald: What's a clockwork orange?
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - You’ve Got Yale! Dan Humphrey: [to Serena] Yale day. I thought we could walk to school together for support. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up in the right place. But what if I don't get in? Serena van der Woodsen: Forget you. What if I do and Blair doesn't? Dan Humphrey: Fire and brimstone, a lot of bitchy asides. Death by Dorota.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - You’ve Got Yale! Dan Humphrey: That's Miss Carr? I guess she has Benjamin Button syndrome.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Gone with the Will Vanessa Abrams: Hey, I'm thinking one pink can of gummy worms and another of Swedish fish. Dan Humphrey: Is this how you and Nate want to celebrate two months of dating? With all things gummy?
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - There Might Be Blood Nate Archibald: What are you doing? [Dan pushes Nate up against the wall] Dan Humphrey: What am I doing? What are you doing? Or is that not you with my 15 year old sister? [shows picture of Nate and Jenny kissing] Nate Archibald: Okay, woah woah just calm down. Dan Humphrey: We took you into our house Nate! Nate Archibald: Look Dan it's not like I planned on it alright? Okay things just happen. I'm sorry. Come on, she's a sophomore, I'm a senior. Don't act like I'm some creepy older guy. Dan Humphrey: No, your the guy who traded sex for money. [pause] Nate Archibald: My god, Vanessa... Dan Humphrey: It's amazing I don't want you with my little sister. Nate Archibald: Okay look I'm sorry I didn't say anything about Jenny, okay? But you have no right to judge me. Dan Humphrey: Where is she? Nate Archibald: I don't even know, she went off to find Agnes. [pause] Do you want me to come help you find her? Dan Humphrey: No I don't want your help. I want you to pack up your stuff and get out of our house.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Pret-A-Poor-J Serena van der Woodsen: Hey, hey do you know what happened? Why is Blair so upset? Dan Humphrey: Look, Blair and Chuck were gonna self disrupt at some point so I just may have helped it along. Serena van der Woodsen: Wait, you intentionally sabotaged Blair? Dan Humphrey: I know your upset and that was not my intention but I just found out they completely screwed over Vanessa. Serena van der Woodsen: No, whatever they did to Vanessa is different. This is about two people who love each other. Dan Humphrey: Blair and Chuck? Come on. Serena van der Woodsen: I don't understand, I thought you wanted to help Blair. Dan Humphrey: No I did this for you because you wanted me to help her. I don't care about Blair Waldorf, all of this is a game to her. Serena van der Woodsen: No, in this case it's not. Blair loves Chuck, she's just been to scarred to admit it.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Pret-A-Poor-J Dan Humphrey: You and Chuck have been toying with each other forever so, you didn't win this one. You ever think maybe you should just let it go? Blair Waldorf: This is different. Dan Humphrey: Why? [Dan looks at Blair] Do, do you love him? [Blair gives him an approving look] Wow, someone loves Chuck Bass. Blair Waldorf: I don't know, I just... I don't understand how it got to this place. Dan Humphrey: Ya know the first time that I told Serena I loved her, it was terrifying. I've never felt so exposed. But the feeling I got when she said it back to me was probably the single greatest moment of my life. Blair Waldorf: But you broke up. Dan Humphrey: Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it all over again. Blair Waldorf: If I say it, he wins and if he wins, then I'll just... be another girl to him. Dan Humphrey: You don't know that's true. You have to decide whats most important to you. Keeping your pride and getting nothing or taking a risk and maybe, maybe having everything.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Pret-A-Poor-J Dan Humphrey: Blair Waldorf in Brooklyn. Are you two lost? Serena van der Woodsen: Will you talk to her please? Blair Waldorf: There's nothing to talk about, I told you it's over. Serena van der Woodsen: She stopped listening to me, maybe she'll listen to you Dan Humphrey: Um, sure. Serena van der Woodsen: I'm gonna go check out the art - in the art gallery. Talk. [Serena walks off]
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Pret-A-Poor-J Blair Waldorf: You have to help me destroy Chuck Bass. Dan Humphrey: Alright I'll take that as my cue to leave. Blair Waldorf: Oh your very perceptive. [Dan starts to leave but Serena stops him] Serena van der Woodsen: Dan wait. [starts talking to Blair] If your having a problem with Chuck then a man's perspective could be helpful. Blair Waldorf: Ya know just because you two are making a doomed attempt to being friends doesn't mean I have to play the enabler. Serena van der Woodsen: Blair come on. Dan Humphrey: Well if your plotting against Chuck Bass then I'm sure I can think of something. Blair Waldorf: Fine. I have an itch that only Chuck can scratch and he won't oblige unless I tell him I love him. Dan Humphrey: You need help getting Chuck to sleep with you, really?
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Pret-A-Poor-J Dan Humphrey: Someone loves Chuck Bass?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Chuck In Real Life Chuck Bass: Humphrey, never a pleasure. Dan Humphrey: Oh good we actually agree on something. Chuck Bass: Archibald, isn't it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale stays at Yale. Nate Archibald: Hey man let's go. [Nate and Dan walk off leaving Chuck behind]
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Serena Also Rises Dan Humphrey: Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan Humphrey, shoeless and clueless. That's all.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Ex-Files Dan Humphrey: When you google revenge, blairwaldorf.com comes up.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Ex-Files Dan Humphrey: You should put a bell on. Chuck Bass: Kinky. I'll think about it.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Ex-Files Dan Humphrey: Maybe we should stay away from each other for awhile. Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah, you’re right. You and Amanda should probably go. Dan Humphrey: Are you ordering me to leave? Serena van der Woodsen: Consider it a suggestion. Why should I go Dan? These are my friends here and it's not exactly your kind of place.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Dark Night Serena van der Woodsen: [Serena and Dan are stuck in the elevator] What do you want Dan? For me to never say my name? Dan Humphrey: I'm not getting into this now. Serena van der Woodsen: We thought we could avoid dealing with last year, well this is fate telling us we can't. [Dan starts to jump to the top of the elevator] What are you doing? Dan Humphrey: I'm getting out of here. Serena van der Woodsen: No, someone's coming, the man said so. Dan Humphrey: I think someone always comes to save Serena van der Woodsen. Serena van der Woodsen: That's not fair. Dan Humphrey: I know it's not, that's the point. [Dan grabs ahold of the top of the elevator] Serena van der Woodsen: Fine you know what? Life's not fair because it doesn't fit with the way you Dan Humphrey think things should be! But why are you always right?
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Dark Night Serena van der Woodsen: I forgive you for Georgina. Dan Humphrey: And I forgive you... but I dunno. Serena van der Woodsen: We keep having the same fight at Bart's brunch a year ago, at the wedding. Dan Humphrey: And we talked about the fight at Bart's brunch. Serena van der Woodsen: And now here. I can't change who I am Dan. Dan Humphrey: Me neither. So what happens now? Serena van der Woodsen: I don't really feel like talking. Dan Humphrey: Yeah me neither. [Serena rests her head on his shoulder]
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Much 'I Do' About Nothing Serena van der Woodsen: So that's it then? "Have a good summer, I'll see you back at school"? Dan Humphrey: I guess.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Much 'I Do' About Nothing Dan Humphrey: So what happened with you and Man Bangs?
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Woman on the Verge Dan Humphrey: Wait, don't you all hate each other? Blair Waldorf: Yes. Nate Archibald: Absolutely. Chuck Bass: No.
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Woman on the Verge Dan Humphrey: Did you sleep with someone else? Serena van der Woodsen: Yes. Dan Humphrey: I'm done.
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - All About My Brother Serena van der Woodsen: What's wrong? You look stressed, even for you. Dan Humphrey: I'm still worried about Jenny. Blair Waldorf: You mean because she's self-obsessed, self-serving, self-centered, self... Dan Humphrey: No, no. I wish it was about her, and her self, but it's more about... who she's with. I can't get through to her. I tried, and she just completely blew me off. And she dissed my pants. Blair Waldorf: Maybe I underestimated her.
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - All About My Brother Rufus Humphrey: [looking at the Scrabble board] Angry. Change. Trust. Girl. [looks at Dan] Something you wanna talk about? Dan Humphrey: Who'd have thought Scrabble could be so therapeutic? That last one was a triple word score.
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - All About My Brother Vanessa Abrams: Give her a break, Asher is her first love. Dan Humphrey: It's infatuation, it's not love. Georgina Sparks: Yeah, but to a 15-year-old girl I mean, there really isn't much of a difference.
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - All About My Brother Blair Waldorf: Dan Humphrey, just who I hate to admit I was looking for. Your dirty. Dan Humphrey: What are you talking about? Blair Waldorf: Cheating, drinking, drugs, it's all fair game, but outing your sister's boyfriend is dark. How did squeaky clean Humphrey ever come up with that? Dan Humphrey: I didn't come up with anything. Blair Waldorf: Oh my god, you know something spill it. Dan Humphrey: Yeah I might have seen Asher kissing another guy. Blair Waldorf: So it's true. Who was he kissing? Dan Humphrey: I dunno I couldn't see but what does that even matter? Blair Waldorf: Right now Gossip Girl's credibility is the same as tensing mortifies after a few martinis, but if I can prove that his simplicity is more than just a rumor, then they'll break up. That's what you want isn't it? Dan Humphrey: Well yeah I guess. Blair Waldorf: Asher's just using your sister as a cover. It's your brotherly duty to save her before becoming the next Katie Holmes. Dan Humphrey: And your in this to help Jenny? Blair Waldorf: Motive is irrelevant as long as our in game is the same. Dan Humphrey: No Blair this is not a game to me okay. I don't want her to get hurt. Blair Waldorf: Well you should've thought that through before you told all of Manhattan that Jenny's a glorified hag. Dan Humphrey: You know what your on your own. Blair Waldorf: Suit yourself.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Desperately Seeking Serena Serena van der Woodsen: [covers Dan's eyes and kisses him] Dan Humphrey: Oh, Chuck, I had no idea you felt that way about me!
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Desperately Seeking Serena Dan Humphrey: Hey I've been wondering where you were. Chuck Bass: You mean all of your life. Dan Humphrey: Don't take this the wrong way Serena but you sound just like this jackass we know. Chuck Bass: Serena has food poisoning. She's too sick to come to your play date. Dan Humphrey: Put her on the phone. Chuck Bass: The bathroom doesn't get reception. Dan Humphrey: Somehow I don't believe you. Chuck Bass: And I would like to say I'm a little glad about that but my poor sick sister has asked for my assistance in the matter, so I'll leave it at this, she's not coming. Humphrey, always a pleasure.

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