jaaa
pausedlife
hkgrappler
 | Season 4 / Episode 12: - Naked Artie Abrams: Wait... Why does it have to be just the men? Why can't we objectify the girls too? Kitty Wilde: 'Cause girls are the one that buy stuff. They're responsible for the consumer-driven economy. Those Twilight books are "poop on paper" and we've turned them into a billion dollar industry! |
 | Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: [to the camera] My name is Brittany S. Pierce and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I am on top of the world. Senior year was awesome and now I get to relive every minute of it. I'm Head Cheerio, Vice Rachel of the glee club and now I'm planning a Middle East-style sham election that will install me as senior class president for life. Blaine Anderson: Brittany, who are you talking to? Brittany Pierce: I thought I was doing a voiceover. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Sue Sylvester: [to Brittany] I hold in my hand the most recent algebra test of one Becky Jackson. Our plucky little Ewok waddled her way to a respectable C plus. Your performance on the very same exam unearthed the hitherto undiscovered grade: F minus.You answered every question with 'See Other Side,' where you composed an elaborate crayon-scape entitled Happyville: The Town Where Math Was Never Invented. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Sue Sylvester: My girls no longer see academic achievement as a worthy goal and yesterday I caught one of them trying to marry a squirrel. Brittany Pierce: That's because I believe in marriage equality for all land mammals. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: [to Sue] Tough love feels a lot like mean. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: [to Lord Tubbington] I'm not speaking to you. I know you joined a gang. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: Sorry I'm late. Somebody took my compass. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: I started taking Lord Tubbington's pills for feline depression. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: After school I'm hopping into bed, eating cashews and bacon and then watching "The Client List" marathon. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Rachel Berry: What's the crime rate like in this neighborhood? It looks a little shady. Kurt Hummel: It's better than Detroit and Damascus. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Rachel Berry: New York Domino's is so much better than Lima Domino's. Kurt Hummel: It's the water. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: [about to shave her hair a la Britney] Coach Sylvester's taken away my high pony. If I can't have my high pony, I don't want any hair at all. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: [to her phone] Kiki, why is everybody staring at me? Kiki: [in an automated African-American accent] Because those fools are jealous. Tina Cohen-Chang: Who's Kiki? Brittany Pierce: Kiki is Siri's super-smart older cousin who's really jealous of how famous Siri's gotten. She lives inside this super cheap phone I found at the laundromat. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: My voice is too weak to sing live. I've been up every night this week yelling at the shrubs in my yard that have been making fun of me. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Cassandra July: [to Rachel] Maria von Trapp, Willy Loman, Shrek: Those are the roles that are appropriate for your level of sex appeal. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: [to Jake] You think you're a bad-ass? Nailing a bunch of chicks, beating up some punks in the cafeteria? I'm the original bad-ass! I had my first threesome at 7 and once I beat up a police horse. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: [to Jake] I rode my motorcycle, played my ax, I banged every chick in this place twice. And you know what? None of it made me a man. What made me a man was sitting here in this room, singing songs I hated next to the biggest collection of losers you've ever seen. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: [to Jake] I gotta get back to L.A. I got a date with the chick who was third runner-up on The Bachelor. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Principal Figgins: I wish to address the rumor that I like to be milked like a cow because my breasts are filled with delicious, wholesome milk. That rumor is untrue. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Brittany Pierce: I got a C minus on my U.S. History exam which the teacher bumped up two whole letter grades because I wrote in English instead of my secret language I invented in middle school. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - Britney 2.0 Kurt Hummel: The only cure to loneliness is cake. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Cassandra July: I bet you were a big star back in Iowa. Rachel Berry: Um, actually, I'm from Ohio. Cassandra July: Ohio? That's even worse. You ever look at a map? Ohio's like a giant turd that Michigan just can't pinch off. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Brittany Pierce: [to Wade] That's a great haircut, Mercedes. I thought you graduated. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Wade Adams: [after being slushied] Unique's eyes... they're on fire! |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Brody Weston: [to Rachel] In case you were wondering, which you were, I'm straight. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Sue Sylvester: Kitty is my new head bitch. Sue: She's like a young Quinn Fabray, except she's not pregnant, manic depressive, or in and out of a wheelchair. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Sam Evans: Wade, you can't wear that makeup and stuff in here. You have to understand how this stuff works. It's like Game of Thrones. Artie Abrams: Yeah, the peace between us and the truly popular kids is weak. Winter is coming. It's not gonna take much for us to get smacked down to the bottom again." |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Jacob Ben Israel: Artie Abrams, lunch room sources tell me you've been sitting with Cheerios. Artie Abrams: Well, I'm usually seen sitting. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Blaine Anderson: So how's Santana? Brittany Pierce: She's good. She's just really busy with cheerleading practice and it's hard making out over Skype. You can't really scissor a Webcam. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - The New Rachel Burt Hummel: Do you know the difference between this place [Lima] and New York? Kurt Hummel: Decent bagels? |
Facebook
Twitter