Glee Quotes

Glee

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Mash-Up Sue Sylvester: I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat; and then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: [Picking out the minority glee kids] Santana! Wheels! Gay kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help, but picturing birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: I wanna pit these kids against one another, am I clear? Quinn, update. Go. Quinn Fabray: The minority students don't feel like they're being heard. Sue Sylvester: Ah, a chink in the armor, huh? I am going to create an environment that it so toxic, no one will want to be a part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple, and I salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Jacob Ben Israel: The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined you're the hottest girl in the school
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: Alright everybody listen up. When you hear your name called, cross over to my side of this black shiny thing Will Schuester: That's called a piano, Sue Sue Sylvester: Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. Come on, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, and Shaft.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: Sometimes people ask me, "Sue, how come you're so sensitive to minorities?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I know firsthand how hard it is to struggle as a minority in America today. I'm 1/16th Comanche Indian. In fact, I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: Your delusions of persecution are a telltale sign of early stage paranoid schizophrenia.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Principal Figgins: Only last Friday at the football game they tried to spell out "GO TEAM" and they spelled out "TO GAME"
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go onto college? I don't know, I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Sue Sylvester: I'm about to vomit down your back.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Throwdown Will Schuester: I will destroy you. Sue Sylvester: I'm about to vomit down your back.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Finn Hudson: I'm losing it. I'm tired all the time-I can't keep my eyes open. I know how lucky I am; captain of the football team, glee stud. I know I should be excited about Quinn. She's hot, popular, she's carrying my baby and all, but I can't get Rachel out of my head. She kinda freaks me out in a Swimfan kinda way, but she can really sing and her body is smoking-if you're not into boobs. My body's a mess. I found a hair on my ear the other day and I have to rub biofreeze on my shins a couple times a day-growing pains. It's smells pretty bad but I mask it with Drakkar Noir. Being a guy my age is tough. Between Glee, Football, and school. and being popular, I'm kinda overwhelmed. Everyone wants something from me and I don't have the energy to do it all. I don't know how important people, like presidents or newscasters or mob bosses do it. My mom says I'm stretched too thin so I gave up homework, but that didn't help. All I know is that last night I got vaporized on level two. Level two-and I didn't even have the energy to care.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: Dear Journal, Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us Nationals. Without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft. Sue Sylvester: Glee club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a kabal of doughy misshapen teens. Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course its not me. Its Will Scheuster. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday. Of course. Its coming clear to me now. If I cant destroy the club, I will have to destroy the man!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: [writing in journal] Glee club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers, it only comes back stronger, like some sexually-ambiguous horror movie villain. Sue Sylvester: Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrified everything, only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens. Sue Sylvester: Am I missing something, Journal? Sue Sylvester: Is it me? Sue Sylvester: Of course it's not me. Sue Sylvester: It's Will Schuester! Sue Sylvester: What is it about him, Journal? Sue Sylvester: Is it the arrogant smirk? Sue Sylvester: Is it the store-bought home perm? Sue Sylvester: You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday. Sue Sylvester: [Flash to Sue watching Will and Emma's mustard-fueled flirtation] Of course. Sue Sylvester: It's coming clear to me now. Sue Sylvester: If I can't destroy the club, I will have to destroy the man!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: We're dealing with children, they need to be terrified, it's like mothers milk to them - without it their bones won't grow properly
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: I've never wanted kids... don't have the time, don't have the uterus
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken Emma Pillsbury: [after stopping Kurt in the hall] Kurt, I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol. Kurt Hummel: [Watching Emma drunkenly] Oh Bambi... I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy... [Bends down and throws up on Emma's shoes]
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken Sue Sylvester: When Sandy said that he wanted to write himself in as Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken Finn Hudson: You know what we should do? Rachel Berry: Elope? Finn Hudson: What? Rachel Berry: Nothing.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken Finn Hudson: [to Rachel] You're the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chainsaws.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken April Rhodes: Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken April Rhodes: If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees. Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candle still lit.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken April Rhodes: [to Rachel] Do you have any NyQuil? I could use a pick-me-up.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Rhodes Not Taken Kurt Hummel: Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Preggers Puck: [after enduring a rival footplayer's constant "Yo Mamma" jokes] Hey! I had sex with your mom. No, really... I cleaned your pool, and then had sex with your mom on your bed - nice Star Wars sheets.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Preggers Kurt Hummel: Dad. I have something that I want to say. I'm glad that you're proud of me. But I don't want to lie anymore. Being a part of the Glee Club and football has really shown me that I can be anything, and what I am, is, I'm gay. Burt Hummel: I know. Kurt Hummel: Really? Burt Hummel: I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea, but, if that's who you are, there's nothing I can do about it. And I love you just as much. Ok? [They hug] Thanks for telling me Kurt. [He starts to go] You sure, right? Kurt Hummel: Yeah Dad, I'm sure. Burt Hummel: I'm just checking.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Preggers Noah Puckerman: Hey ankle grabber! I had sex with your mother. No seriously. I cleaned your pool, and then I had sex with her in your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Acafellas Sandy Ryerson: Who is Josh Groban? Kill yourself!

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