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Terri Schuester Quotes
 | Season 1 / Episode 6: - Vitamin D Sue Sylvester: Let me put it to you this way. If it's not a full blown affair, well it's certainly heading in that direction. You need a machete to cut through the haze of lust that surrounds them. Terri Schuester: Oh God. What am I going to do? Sue Sylvester: I think you should both pack up and move out of the district. Unless you want to lose your man to a mentally ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bushbaby. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 3: - Acafellas Terri Schuester: It's just hamburger casserole-Look-out for bones! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Will Schuester: [voice over] My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I'm not sure what he meant by that since he burned ours down once after a drunken fight with mom. Peggy: Welcome to your little slice of the American dream. Terri Schuester: I have a question about the trees. It's always been my personal dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many Christmas trees will we have in the backyard? And do they come in different colours because... well obviously we're starting a family and I have a real sense that it's going to be a girl. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Terri Schuester: This banister was made by Ecuadorian children. [Terri Schuester gasps in delight] Will Schuester: It's great Terri but there are nine foreclosures on our street. Why can't we just buy one of those? They are half the price. Terri Schuester: I'm not raising our baby in a used house. They're not clean! |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Terri Schuester: Come with me, I'm going to show you something really special. [Terri leads him to a child's room done entirely in pink] This is where our daughter or our gay son will sleep. I thought maybe we could put one of those mini pianos in here and you two could put on mini shows for me. Will Schuester: I love it Terri but we still can't afford everything. Terri Schuester: It's my very own Sophie's Choice. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Terri Schuester: I don't want my baby to grow an extra arm just because I live in squalor and I'm so stressed. So, I want you to run any and all tests you have. Doctor: Trust me, you're clear. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Terri Schuester: I'm not pregnant? But I've gained ten pounds! Dr. Wu: That's probably from eating. [Turns off ultrasound machine] I can see a chicken wing you probably swallowed whole. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Showmance Terri Schuester: This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Will Schuester: I had to make a deal with Figgins so he wouldn't kill Glee Club. Terri Schuester: But Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day, three times a week here. Now I have to go home and cook dinner for myself? |
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