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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Season 7 / Episode 19: - A Dingo Ate My Dream House Lynn Searcy: [about Monica] Look, she really needs this job. You need to hire her back. William Dent: Is she really broke? I had no idea. Why didn't she say something, why didn't you say something? Lynn Searcy: She swore me to secrecy. |
| Season 4 / Episode 1: - Some Enchanted Evening Toni Childs: [About Todd] That little leprechaun makes me sick! I'm divorcing his magically delicious ass! |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Todd Garrett: You paid $500 for shoes! Toni Childs: Boots, Todd. I'm not an idiot. |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: [Maya is accusing Darnell of cheating on her with his co-worker at the airport] Joan said she saw you down at the airport with some woman. Darnell Wilkes: And if Joan had stayed there she would have seen me down there with a lot of women... that didn't come out right. |
| Unknown Episode: Joan Clayton: My mother always said, "When love runs out on you, God sends you love's equivalent... or better." Toni Childs: I thought she said, "When you run out of love's lubricant, use butter." Joan Clayton: What? Toni Childs: What? Your momma does mumble. And we both know she's a freak. |
| Unknown Episode: Darnell Wilkes: We're just not clicking the way we used to. Maya Wilkes: Maybe we should pray about it. Darnell Wilkes: What? Maya Wilkes: A family that prays together, stays together. Darnell Wilkes: All right, you pray, I'm going to bed. Maya Wilkes: Baby, be angry at me. Don't be angry at the Lord. |
| Unknown Episode: William Dent: This Charlie can't fly without his angels. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: [on converting to Judaism] I'm already on standby for heaven as it is. I'm not straying from the path I've chosen. |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: Thanks for watching my little man, Toni. Toni Childs: No problem. Jamal is a very wise young man. Maya Wilkes: For the last time Toni, his name is Jabari. Toni Childs: But he looks like a Jamal. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: [referring to Maya's son Jabari] I'm waiting, Ju ju bee. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: [referring to Maya's son Jabari] We all love Gymboree. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: Where's my phone sheet? Shelby Girard: On your zip disk. Toni Childs: Nuh-uh, I don't zip-a-dee-do that. I want my phone sheet on paper. Shelby Girard: Has Enron taught you nothing? |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: Shelby, I want my employees to show some initiative, but only when I tell them too. |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: See, Joan, I told you. Actors aren't smart... and they steal... Winona Ryder... I rest my case. |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: [recounting story of Jabari as a newborn] Let's just say LA Transit gets a bad rap. Because they do return lost items. Toni Childs: You left Jingle-Jangle on the bus? Maya Wilkes: No! I left Jingle-Jangle at the bus stop. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: Maya, how'd you get so smart? Maya Wilkes: Oh, girl, I'm an authoress. I gots to know stuff. Toni Childs: I guess you don't "gots" to know grammar. Maya Wilkes: At least I didn't miss my baby's first doctor's appointment! Toni Childs: At least I didn't leave my baby on the bus! Maya Wilkes: Bus *stop*! Get it right, bitch. |
| Unknown Episode: Toni Childs: Hey, Jolly Rancher Jabari Wilkes: It's *Jabari*! Toni Childs: Why is he yelling at me in gibberish? |
| Unknown Episode: Julie Fageaux: So... lunch? Maya Wilkes: Yeah. Julie Fageaux: Soho? Maya Wilkes: I said yeah, bitch! Julie Fageaux: Okay, you know what I'm just trying to do my job, I'm trying to meet your needs. I love your book and I don't know why you feel the need to come in and attack me Maya Wilkes: What did I do to you? Julie Fageaux: You called me a bitch Maya Wilkes: You called me a ho! Julie Fageaux: OK... Soho is a neighborhood. |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: Jabari, I said get up and take out the trash now. Jabari Wilkes: [mumbling] What, are your legs broke? Maya Wilkes: No, but your ass is about to be! |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: Aww, hell no! |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: [Talking to Toni] Kiss is a noun and a verb, so you can either give my ass a kiss or kiss my ass! |
| Unknown Episode: Maya Wilkes: [to Darnell] You know there was a time when I did think you were controlling, but now I think you just love too hard. You try to protect the people you love from life when you just need to let them live it with you. |
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