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 | Season 3 / Episode 30: - Gilligan, the Goddess Thurston Howell III: Gilligan, you dunce, you've done it again! These savages are civilized! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 13: - And Then There Were None [Dream sequence: "Doctor" Gilligan is on trial, accused of being Mr. Hyde. Mary Ann is a coarse "Eliza Dolittle" type appearing as character witness] Mary Ann Summers: Just a poor cockney flower girl, that's all Ah is! But Ah owes *everything* to Doctor Gilligan. 'E taught me to *walk*, and to *talk*, and to *dress*, like a regular LADY! 'E give me real CLASS 'e did! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 10: - Topsy-Turvy Skipper Jonas Grumby: For a little guy, you sure get in a lot of trouble! Gilligan: That's because I try harder. Skipper Jonas Grumby: The things I do for you... Gilligan: Sorry, Skipper, but this is the only way I can talk to you without falling down. Or up. Or sideways. Professor Roy Hinkley: [Walks out of hut with a potion for Gilligan] Skipper, you are standing upside-down, aren't you? Skipper Jonas Grumby: Well of course I'm standing upside-down, Professor! Professor Roy Hinkley: Oh. Good; for a minute I thought I was working too hard. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 5: - Voodoo The Skipper: [with Professor and Gilligan] Gilligan doesn't have any muscles in his head. Fat maybe, but no muscles. |
| Season 3 / Episode 5: - Voodoo Gilligan: I'm hexed. I'm hexed. The Skipper: What are you gonna do? Gilligan: I'm getting the *hex* out of here! |
| Season 3 / Episode 5: - Voodoo The Professor: [to Skipper and Gilligan] I would say it was a geological phenomenon caused by volcanic activity beneath the Earth's surface resulting into concentration of heat at a specific location. Gilligan: That makes sense to me, but there's one thing I don't understand. The Professor: Oh, what's that? Gilligan: How come the ground got so hot underneath our feet? |
| Season 3 / Episode 5: - Voodoo The Professor: [to Skipper] Simple. Gilligan was digging and he probably sprained a muscle. |
| Season 3 / Episode 5: - Voodoo The Skipper: It all started when we took those relics out of the cave, right? So we collect them all, put them back in, and that oughta satisfy whoever's putting this curse on us! Gilligan: Yeah, and once they're satisfied, they'll dezombie the Professor! The Skipper: 'Dezombie'? Gilligan: Unzombie... exzombie? The Skipper: Well, never mind. Now look, I want you to get over to the girls' hut and collect all the stuff that you gave them. I'll go over to the Howells and collect their stuff. Gilligan: Yeah. The Skipper: Alright! Come on, on your way! [Gilligan leaves the hut] The Skipper: Unzombie? Dezombie? Exzombie? I wonder which one it is. Gilligan: [Reentering behind Skipper] DISzombie! The Skipper: [Turns around and glares at Gilligan] Gilligan: Datzombie? |
 | Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Producer Gilligan: [as "Hamlet," flubbing his line about "get thee to a nunnery" to Ginger, playing "Ophelia"] There is nothing left to do, Ophelia... but to get thee to a notarary. [Ginger nods] |
 | Season 3 / Episode 2: - Gilligan vs. Gilligan The Skipper: Gilligan, when they were passing out the brains, you weren't at the end of the line. YOU WERE ON VACATION! Gilligan: That's what you think, fatso. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 1: - Up at Bat Professor Roy Hinkley: [as "Sherlock"] I am inspector Sherlock and this is my associate, Colonel Watney. Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: [as "Watney"] How do you do? Professor Roy Hinkley: Have you been expecting us? Mary Ann Summers: [as the castle caretaker] Expecting you? Five years ago I wrote you to come investigate the strange happenings in this house. FIVE YEARS! What took you so long? Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: W-w-well the fact is... uh... we had trouble getting a Hansom Cab! Professor Roy Hinkley: Eh... precisely! We had to WALK! Mary Ann Summers: You walked? All the way from England? Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: Yes, and of course, crossing the channel was devilishly slow. You see it was take one step, and come up for air, and then take another step, and come up for air... Mary Ann Summers: Never mind! |
| Season 3 / Episode 1: - Up at Bat Gilligan: Please help me, Professor! I... I wouldn't be a good vampire! I faint at the sight of blood! I'll starve to death! |
| Season 3 / Episode 1: - Up at Bat Gilligan: [as a vampire, standing before an open window] I shall swoop down upon their unsuspecting necks! [Gilligan jumps out of the window, followed shortly by a crashing sound. Gilligan is then seen climbing back in through the same window] Ginger Grant: [as Gilligan the vampire's wife] What happened? Gilligan: I forgot to turn into a bat! Ginger Grant: What kind of a vampire are you, anyway? |
 | Season 2 / Episode 32: - Meet the Meteor Mary Ann Summers: [Gilligan is standing guard outside a hut where the Professor and the Skipper are assembling a geiger counter] Is everyone ready for the Christmas party? Ginger Grant: Christmas party? You mean birthday party! Lovey Howell: Anniversary party! Thurston Howell III: Young man, what do you have to say for yourself? Gilligan: Just one word. [turns and opens door of hut] Gilligan: HELP! [Skipper and Professor fall over in surprise, ruining progress on assembling the Geiger counter] |
 | Season 2 / Episode 27: - Ghost a Go-Go Professor Roy Hinkley: Fortunately I happen to know something about the construction of mannequins. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 15: - Erika Tiffany Smith to the Rescue Erika Tiffany Smith: [first lines - admiring her yacht captain] Ah yes, I *must* have you promoted. |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - Erika Tiffany Smith to the Rescue Mary Ann Summers: Mister Howell, I don't even think she saw me. Thurston Howell III: Well of course not, she has something in her eye - a man. |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - Erika Tiffany Smith to the Rescue Erika Tiffany Smith: I thought all professors wear glasses. Professor Roy Hinkley: Oh not at all, my eyes are ametropic and completely refractable. Erika Tiffany Smith: From here they look blue. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 12: - Don't Bug the Mosquitoes Professor Roy Hinkley: The Mosquitoes left us a note. Thurston Howell III: They can write? Professor Roy Hinkley: Apparently... |
 | Season 2 / Episode 9: - Nyet, Nyet -- Not Yet Ivan: Vodka? On a spaceship? Igor: ONLY way to fly! |
| Season 2 / Episode 9: - Nyet, Nyet -- Not Yet Igor: [Planning to leave without the castaways] We invite them to celebration, drink toast, get them drunk. Ivan: Igor! Good idea! We got plenty vodka in capsule. Igor: Sure! Two Russian men can drink more than four American men. Ivan: Is only *three* men. Igor: Is *four*! Is sailor, is teacher, is rich capitalist, is-... Ah, you are right Ivan. Is *three* men... and *one* Gilligan! |
| Season 2 / Episode 9: - Nyet, Nyet -- Not Yet Thurston Howell III: Gentlemen. I am Thurston Howell III and this of course is my wife, Mrs. Thurston Howell III. Mrs. Lovey Howell: Charmed. Igor: Capitalist! Exploiter! Thurston Howell III: Capitalist. Exploiter. I was wrong Lovey. They're very friendly! |
| Season 2 / Episode 9: - Nyet, Nyet -- Not Yet Ginger Grant: Agent 36-25-36 reporting, sir. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Castaways Pictures Presents Thurston Howell III: I'd walk out on that picture even on an airplane. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 4: - Smile, You're on Mars Camera The Skipper: There's a space up there, there's a space down here, and THERE'S A SPACE BETWEEN YOUR EARS! |
 | Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Little Dictator [dream sequence: Gilligan is the ruler of a small country. The Skipper is Secretary of the Navy] Gilligan: How's my Navy holding up? Jonas Grumby - Skipper: Well since you brought it up sir, why don't you come to the window and see for yourself? Rodriguez: Again? Rodriguez: Propaganda! Vicious Propaganda! Gilligan: Are you doing something about that? Jonas Grumby - Skipper: Yes sir, we are! We're teaching our sailors how to SWIM! Gilligan: Good! Jonas Grumby - Skipper: And the people on shore are learning mouth-to-mouth resuscitation -without becoming emotionally involved! Rodriguez: How can you do that? Jonas Grumby - Skipper: It ain't easy! |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Gilligan's Mother-in-Law Native Warrior: [closing lines] [says something unintelligible to Gilligan] Gilligan: [calls to Professor] What's he saying, Professor? Native Warrior: [turns, calls to Professor] Professor Roy Hinkley: [calls to Gilligan] Oh, he just said you first have to pass the Best Man Test. Gilligan: [calls to Professor] Best Man Test? Native Warrior: [calls to Professor, makes throwing motion] Professor Roy Hinkley: [calls to Gilligan] Poison darts at six paces! Gilligan: [stands up in boat] Poison darts at six paces? [leaps overboard, swims ashore] |
 | Season 1 / Episode 32: - Physical Fatness Skipper Jonas Grumby: There's a table in this Navy manual that tells me how much I should weigh. Gilligan: Maybe it's under "tonnage". |
 | Season 1 / Episode 26: - Music Hath Charm Mrs. Lovey Howell: [entering, seeing Gilligan playing a drum] Oh, Gilligan, I am hungry for music! Gilligan: [pausing and holding up a drumstick] Would you like a drumstick? |
 | Unknown Episode: Ginger Grant: Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Gilligan: That's beautiful. What's it mean? Ginger Grant: It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel. |
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