George Lopez Quotes

George Lopez

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 6 / Episode 15: - George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie Angie Lopez: I signed it the NWA. George Lopez: Ice Cube and Dr. Dre's old group? You're sending that to a racist? Angie Lopez: Not that NWA, the Neighborhood Watch Association!
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie Benny: I've had to take crap from people like that all my life. When I was in the 8th grade, my teacher's wallet was stolen and mine was the first locker they searched. George Lopez: Please tell me they didn't find it. Benny: Hell no, all I had in there was half a bottle of scotch which I paid for myself with my baby sitting money.
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie Max Lopez: I think Dad's right, there's even racism in school. I'm pretty sure I'm flunking math because my teacher is racist against Latinos. Angie Lopez: Max, half of your class is Latino. Max Lopez: No way, there's only 30 of us and 15 of them are Latino. George Lopez: You're not helping the cause!
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie Benny: Where the hell have you been? George Lopez: I was giving Angie a back massage to put her to sleep, she started telling me about her day the next thing you know, I'm out. Benny: You made me wait for so long I dozed off too. George! We had a job to do and we fell asleep. We're sleeping Mexicans! George Lopez: No we're not. This is what racism does, it makes people feel bad about sleeping. Everybody sleeps, it's night!
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - George Can't Let Sleeping Mexicans Lie George Lopez: You want to help the cause, you get an education, then you can buy and sell fools like Sorkin. Max Lopez: You can't really buy and sell people, can you? George Lopez: Like I said, get an education!
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La Angie Lopez: I'm going to go upstairs, scrape a dry hunk of toothpaste off of the sink and brush my teeth. [goes upstairs] Benny: What the hell is going on? You haven't broken her yet? George Lopez: Mom, she's tougher than I thought. We ran out of fabric softener, her thongs are like cardboard and she's wearing them anyway.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La Benny: Where is the boy who made a pillow out of grass clippings and a trash bag? Where is the little boy who lived for a whole month on Halloween candy? Who used pages from a phone book when we ran out of toilet paper? George Lopez: He's in me, Mom, I can feel him.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La Max Lopez: It's been three weeks with no TV or internet. All I do is read and go to school. I'm like some poor pioneer kid from the 70's.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La Angie Lopez: Why is it dark in here? George Lopez: Some of us don't need to waste money on electricity. Angie Lopez: I don't need it if you don't. Max Lopez: Is this supposed to be a good marriage? If it is, why do gay people want it so badly?
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - George Uses His Vato Power to Save Dinero Que La George Lopez: You spent 50 cents! Angie Lopez: No, I bought these with recycled cans. George Lopez: Going through the trash, are you? Angie Lopez: I didn't need to, I found 40 empties in the back of your mom's car.
	Season 6 / Episode 4: - George Testi-Lies for Benny Luisa Diaz: [talking about Benny at her trial] She didn't help us at all. She left because she got knocked up.
	Season 6 / Episode 2: - George's House Has Two Empty Wombs Jonathon K. Martin: Me and my secretary were fooling around in my office. My wife called. I said there was something on my desk, that needed my attention. Now did I lie? George: Cochino, yeah you lied!
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - George's Mom Faces Hard Tambien Vic Palmero: The point is that I am marrying a 27 year old! George Lopez: You know what Vic? When she goes to her High School reunion, she can bring your ashes. Oh that’s not an ash tray, that’s my husband.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Angie Lopez: [to George] Well, Brad, I might be giving you what Jennifer wouldn't. George Lopez: A Cambodian kid? Angie Lopez: No! I might be pregnant. George Lopez: What? Oh, hell no. Hell no! You better hope Brad and Angelina want another little Mexican boy for their collection because I'm not raising another one!
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Angie Lopez: George, your mom's perfect man might not be in LA. He could be in a trailer in North Carolina or a trailer in Wyoming or a trailer in Alabama. George Lopez: I got it: "Operation Take Out the Trash."
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Carmen Lopez: I just got my letter from Northern Vermont, but I'm afraid to open it. This is my last shot, Mom. Not just for an education, for freedom. I can't party and pierce things in this house. I need to go away.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Max Lopez: But most of my friends have already gotten drunk. I wanna see what it feels like. George Lopez: Let me tell you a tragic story about someone who started drinking at your age. Grandma. The end.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Vic: [to Benny] You will however, die alone with your underwear full of cobwebs.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Vic: [about his girlfriend] Last night was our first date and it was magical. She says I am the most handsome man she has ever seen. Benny: That's so nice. So when you kissed her good night, did her seeing-eye dog growl?
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George George Lopez: Mom, you haven't done anything wrong. Benny: Well... George Lopez: Oh, no, Mom, what did you do? Rob a place, shoot someone? I know, you flashed someone and they killed themselves.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - It's a Cliffhanger, By George Ernie: [to George] And the cashier said he saw the robber talking to a Mexican dude with his little girl right before he robbed the place. George Lopez: Dammit! Max needs a haircut!
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money Benny: Nobody's got as good numbers as mine. George Lopez: No way. You made these up. Benny: Go out and check the warehouse. I haven't worked so hard since I tried to teach you to spell "cat."
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money Benny: That's my steering wheel. George Lopez: You'll get it back when I get back my golf clubs and the new driver you're going to buy me. Benny: How am I supposed to do that if I can't use my car? George Lopez: I'm gonna say the same thing that you said to me when I was eight and I stepped on that nail that went through my foot, "Not my problem."
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money George Lopez: [to Benny] Mom, I swear if you touch another one of my clubs, I'll take your... I'll hurt your... dammit! There's nothing she cares about!
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money Benny: [seeking revenge for the Reno trip] No, it's not over. You screwed me, now I'm going to get you. It's payback time. George Lopez: What are you going to do? Raise me again?
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money George Lopez: [after Gina asks George to go with her to Reno] Gina, the hotel in Reno doesn't have turn down service, but I do.
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money George Lopez: [to Benny] You never taught me anything. You just punished me. I wasn't "Hooked on Phonics," I was hooked to a radiator.
	Season 5 / Episode 20: - George Vows to Make Some Matri-Money George Lopez: While all the other kids were camping and getting Indian names, I was alone in the backyard, so I had to come up with my own name: "Boy Who Plays With Himself." After I told all the other Rangers my name, no one would do the secret handshake with me anymore.
	Season 5 / Episode 19: - George Gets Cross Over Freddie (1) George Lopez: A stressed-out bride is nothing. At the factory, I work with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers, and I'm not just talking about my mom. There's other people like that there too.
	Season 5 / Episode 19: - George Gets Cross Over Freddie (1) Benny: We never had wedding planners. All you had to do was get to Vegas, say your vows at the drive-thru chapel, and be on your way. George Lopez: Well, Brooke's situation is a little different than yours, Mom. First of all, she's not a minor, she's not pregnant, and she knows the last name of the guy she's marrying. Benny: I knew his last name. I just didn't know he was going to be using it for his other family, too.

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