Philip J. Fry

Futurama

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Billy West

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Philip J. Fry Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 13: - Bend Her Philip J. Fry: Who do I root for? America, or one of those countries I learned about at the food court?
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - Bend Her Philip J. Fry: I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity.
	Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Sting Philip J. Fry: Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
	Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Sting Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Bad news, everyone: you're not good enough for your next mission. Philip J. Fry: Yay! Not Good enough! Bender: We live to suck another day. Leela: Why? Says who? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Because! Says me! This job killed my last crew. Leela: What's the mission? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Collecting honey, ordinary honey. Leela: That doesn't sound so bad. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: This is no ordinary honey!
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles Bender: Yo, Captain Catarats. Why are we stopping here? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It's almost 2:30. Just in time for the early bird dinner special. Philip J. Fry: What about your gargoyle? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: The wha?
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles Mandy: [about Fry] So this is the famous Fry. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface so he has to hang out in the sewer? Philip J. Fry: They're onto me.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles Philip J. Fry: [on a boat race in the sewer] We miss the turn. We'll never catch up. Turanga Leela: Yes we will. This pipe goes under Planet Express, and it's 9:00 PM. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: The devil take this predictable colon!
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles Philip J. Fry: It worked! We're our original ages again! Turanga Leela: I think I may even be a few years younger. Amy Wong: Hey, me too! [winks]
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles Turanga Leela: Professor, teeth do not belong in your pants. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, I can't keep them in my mouth. They're nuclear powered. Philip J. Fry: Ow! It bit me! Turanga Leela: No! No! It's tasted human blood!
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - 30% Iron Chef Bender: Fleeing somewhere? Philip J. Fry: With you blocking the only escape route? Don't be silly.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - 30% Iron Chef Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Good lord! According to the spetrolyzer, Spragel's secret ingredient was... water! Ordinary water! Philip J. Fry: Ah, so the real gift Spragel gave you was confidence. The confidence to be your best. Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Yes, ordinary water, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD. Bender: The important thing is, by my standards, I won fair and square. Now, who wants brunch, cooked with plenty of "confidence"?
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - A Leela of Her Own Philip J. Fry: Look, the players who broke the various color barriers. Bender: When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - A Leela of Her Own Philip J. Fry: Wow, I'm impressed. You look just like a ball player. Can I pat you on the butt? Leela: Fry, I'm a professional athlete now, so go ahead. Philip J. Fry: Aw, now I'm too nervous.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - A Leela of Her Own Leela: Fry, put down those binoculars. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one week. Philip J. Fry: I know, and I've learned to accept it.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - A Leela of Her Own Hank Aaron XXIV: Okay, try it again, but this time keep your eye off the ball. Leela: You mean keep my eye on the ball? Hank Aaron XXIV: Hey, lady! Which one of us is in the Hall of Fame? Philip J. Fry: Psst! You're holding the bat upside down.
	Season 4 / Episode 8: - Godfellas Philip J. Fry: You can't lose hope when it's hopeless. You gotta hope more, then put your fingers in your ears and go, "Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!...”
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Love and Rocket Philip J. Fry: You could have picked a better time to break up with the ship, Bender. Bender: Ah, the moment felt right. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Love and Rocket Turanga Leela: She can't hear us in here, so just pretend to shower. Philip J. Fry: Same as everyday. Got it.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Love and Rocket Philip J. Fry: Wow! Letters like 'U' and 'R' can stand for words, like 'you' and 'are.'
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Love and Rocket Philip J. Fry: Bender, how can you be in love with the ship? It'd be like me falling in love with a really fat chick... and living inside her... and going [imitates flying sounds] . Bender: Fry, in order for me to get busy with maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a 400-ton booty.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - That's Lobstertainment! Philip J. Fry: Well, we missed the premiere, and we're gonna die. Might as well enjoy the sights. Philip J. Fry: Oh, my God! Sylvester Stallone!
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Bendless Love Turanga Leela: Guidance system? Bender: Online. Turanga Leela: Automatic pilot? Automatic Pilot: Present. Turanga Leela: Dark matter indicator? Philip J. Fry: Making a noise. Turanga Leela: All systems operational. Let's rock.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Bendless Love Philip J. Fry: Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful. What the hell's wrong with you? Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Hmm, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps seeing things from a new perspective has reminded me of life's beauty. Or perhaps my new posture is causing blood to pool in the back of my brain, resulting in a slight delirium. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Philip J. Fry: I wish. It's a nickel.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Bendless Love Philip J. Fry: [to Bender, watching surveillance tape] Wait, there on the screen! It's that guy you are!
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Bendless Love Turanga Leela: [Picks up L-shaped piece of metal] This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman. Philip J. Fry: Yep. Bender: Of course. Amy Wong: Doy! Hermes Conrad: It's an important unit. Turanga Leela: And this, my friends, is the L-unit just removed from the ship. [Unveils a straightened piece of metal; all gasp] Philip J. Fry: That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lower-case. Bender: You know we don't! [Slaps Fry] Turanga Leela: Whoever did this was strong. This is 340 pounds of Tonka tough steel. Bender: [Picks up L-unit] Hmmm, it should look like this... [Bends into L shape]... but instead it looks like this. [Straightens it out again] Philip J. Fry: Who would do such a thing? Bender: Who could do such a thing? And by that I mean this. [Bends L-unit back and forth] Dr. Zoidberg: Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Mother's Day Philip J. Fry: We can live without machines. I was in Webelos
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Mother's Day Philip J. Fry: You mean you and mom... Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Played pelvic pinochle? I'm afraid so. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It's a humiliating story that I hoped never to tell. Well, pull up a chair.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Mother's Day Amy Wong: But the professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we going to get there without a hovercar? Philip J. Fry: Wait. In my time we had a way of moving objects long distances without hovering. Hermes Conrad: Impossible! Philip J. Fry: It was called... let me think... It was really famous. Ruth Gordon had one... The wheel. Turanga Leela: Never heard of it. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Show us this "the wheel."
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Mother's Day Philip J. Fry: What happens if the fire goes out? Hermes Conrad: We'll go across the street to Pottery Barn and steal their fire. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We can use my new invention. A pointy rock tied to a stick.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Mother's Day Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Just the thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca rise in my gullet. Philip J. Fry: Professor, please. The fate of the world depends on you getting to second base with Mom. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall.

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