Bender

Futurama

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Played by:

John Di Maggio

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Bender Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: I don't remember ever fighting Godzilla... But that is so what I would have done!
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: Sure, I can help you, but we might have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil, and by "devil", I mean Robot Devil, and by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: What up? Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Oh. Well it so happens that I'm in the mood to make a deal with you. Bender: Forget it. You can't tempt me. Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Really? There's nothing you want? Bender: Hmm. I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [Robot Devil jumps out of the refrigator] Bender! What a surprise! For you. Finding me in the refrigerator. Bender: Well, at least I don't have the hiccups any more, what's up?
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: Wow, your kid is great. How hard did you say you had to hit him? Mrs. Mellonger: Well, fairly hard.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: You know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortune. Hahaha!
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [after Bender's airhorn deafens Leela] How delightfully ironic. Bender: It's not ironic, it's just mean. Take this! [blows horn, but it falters] Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Out of aerosol. Also ironic. Bender: Oh, yeah? Well, bite my shiny, metal... [realizes he gave up his crotch plate] Ohhh, noooooo!
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings Bender: [singing, reading from a dictionary] "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention." / Now that is irony!
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: You're watching Futurama: the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: And so I ask you this one question. Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: I read the script, and I think it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire. Director: Don't worry about the script. We rewrote the part to better suit your acting abilities. Bender: Ah, so now my character has a British accent? Director: No, now your character's in a coma. Get in bed and don't move.
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: An open casting call for child robots? Tinny Tim, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Tinny Tim: What's that, sir? Bender: That I, Bender, am perfect for the part. Tinny Tim: You've raised my expectations and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo.
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: Antonio here, but you may call me Bender. I've got ants in my butt, and I needs to strut!
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: Bender must be stopped! I have gone too far. Who does that guy think I am?
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Casting Director: Have you ever been on TV before? Bender: Once, when I took those hostages. Calculon: I saw that. You were good.
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television Bender: Bandidos, eh? This is perfect, because I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent. "I will see Adeeos, Padre. Come, Jesoos, my faithful chee-hua-hua. Tonight we eat some gee-oo-ack-a-mole by del ree-o."
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Obsoletely Fabulous Bender: Who are you, and why should I care?
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Obsoletely Fabulous Bender: And what's your problem? Sinclair 2K: Not enough... uh... Bender: Memory? Sinclair 2K: Oh, great. Now I remember that word, but I forgot my wife's face.
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Obsoletely Fabulous Bender: [downgrade to wood] Behold, my hand crafted glory! The technological world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Obsoletely Fabulous Bender: I say the world must learn of our peaceful ways... by force!
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Obsoletely Fabulous Bender: Oh, merciful Poseidon. Have pity on this mechanical mariner. [he approaches a storm] Uh-oh. Bender: [inside the storm] Curse you, merciful Poseidon!
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - Bend Her Bender: My dreams are over before they began! Dr. Zoidberg: [happily] Welcome to my life! [starts crying]
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - Bend Her Bender: Professor, make a woman out of me. Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Oh, I think we should just stay friends.
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Fry: Look, normally I'm the first guy to toot his own lower horn... Bender: I'll say. Whooooo! Fry: But in this case, I just don't think it's going to work. Bender: That's what she said. Whooooo!
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Bender: Hey look, Bigfoot! He's back! Ranger Park: Where? Bender: Up your face! Ahahahaha.
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Lrrr: Mmm, this jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked. Bender: It's used to it. Woooo!
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Lrrr: This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures. A living thing. And all living things, large and small... Bender: In this case, small. Woooo! Lrrr: ...have dignity and a spark of the divine. [Cries] Nd-Nd: That's the gentle, sensitive, poet warlord I fell in love with.
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Leela: Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold on to your lower horn. Bender: As usual. Woooo!
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Bender: Boy, who knew a cooler could also make a handy wang coffin?
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Spanish Fry Fry: Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle, but I pulled it out. Bender: Just like at the movie theater. Wooo!

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