Full House Quotes

Full House

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 8 / Episode 23: - Michelle Rides Again (1) Jesse Katsopolis: Guess what two wacky radio show hosts have an audition for their very own late-night, wacky TV show? Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis: Casey Kasem and Howard Stern? Jesse Katsopolis: I'll give you a hint: one of them is the father of your children. Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis: Well, I said Howard Stern.
	Season 8 / Episode 21: - Leap of Faith Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: Whoa! Edna's in a thong! And she's looking HOT!
	Season 8 / Episode 19: - Taking the Plunge Duane: Whatever.
	Season 8 / Episode 19: - Taking the Plunge Kimberly 'Kimmy' Louise Gibbler: I paid $29.95 for this wedding and I want it to be special.
	Season 8 / Episode 19: - Taking the Plunge D.J.: Kimmy's getting married! Nelson Burkhard: To what?
	Season 8 / Episode 18: - We Got the Beat Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Give us a break, Uncle Jesse, we sounded okay. Jesse Katsopolis: Okay? Okay is not going to cut it. You guys aren't ready to perform in front of people. Now what you gotta do is practice over and over and over again until you can play this stuff in your sleep. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Any other complaints? Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah, you have a bad attitude. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Well that's because you're a bad manager. Jesse Katsopolis: Steph, I - I don't really need this. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Well we don't need you. Jesse Katsopolis: Really? So you guys are firing me? Kimberly 'Kimmy' Louise Gibbler: We can't fire you. You quit! Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Kimmy, I'll handle this. Jesse Katsopolis: You know, Steph, I'm sorry I got involved with your little band in the first place. Gia Mahan: Not as sorry as we are. [Jesse gives her an almost-menacing look then walks away]
	Season 8 / Episode 18: - We Got the Beat Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: How's the homework coming? Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: Great! I just made $60,000. Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Doing homework? All I got was just a little happy face.
	Season 8 / Episode 18: - We Got the Beat Gia Mahan: Steph, right now she's all we got. Steph: But you don't know her like I do. She's rude, crude, and lewd. Gia Mahan: That's perfect!
	Season 8 / Episode 15: - My Left and Right Foot Jesse: I'll just teach her to sing on key. Or in a key. Joey: How about the Florida Keys?
	Season 8 / Episode 10: - Under the Influence D.J.: And that's what really happened. Kimmy Gibbler: [angrily] You just can't admit you were jealous of me! You had to embarrass me, and take my car keys like I'm some kind of child! D.J.: Kimmy, you could barely walk. Kimmy Gibbler: [shouts] It's my life! What do you care? D.J.: I'm sorry. I do care. My mom died because of a drunk driver. D.J.: I wasn't gonna lose my best friend the same way. Kimmy Gibbler: [feeling ashamed] Deej I'm sorry. I know. I made an idiot out of myself last night. I didn't know how to talk to those frat guys. But after a couple of drinks, I started to loosen up. For the first time in my life, I felt cool. D.J.: Well, Kimmy, they called you a lot of things at that party, but cool wasn't one of 'em. Kimmy Gibbler: Well, Deej, how come you weren't nervous? D.J.: Are you kidding? I was a wreck. I was talking to this really cute guy and he kept smiling at me, and then I looked down, and I realized that my elbow was in the clam dip. Kimmy Gibbler: Oh, man. I would've been so humiliated. D.J.: Yeah, well, it wasn't my finest moment. But, in some weird way, it broke the ice, and we were laughing about it. Kimmy Gibbler: So, the trick to staying calm is to keep your elbow in the dip? D.J.: The trick is to remember that everybody is nervous, and it is a lot easier to handle if you stay in control. Kimmy Gibbler: I'm glad one of us did. Thanks, D.J.
	Season 8 / Episode 9: - Stephanie's Wild Ride Jesse Katsopolis: [Playing a video game] Waterfall. Go up! Go up! Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson Katsopolis: It's a kayak. It doesn't go up! Jesse Katsopolis: It's enchanted for crying out loud!
	Season 8 / Episode 9: - Stephanie's Wild Ride Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: You're not going. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: What are you talking about? Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: I'm sorry, I can't let you go. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Gia, tell the guys to hang. I'll be right out. Gia Mahan: I thought you said your sister was cool. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: She USED to be.
	Season 8 / Episode 9: - Stephanie's Wild Ride Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Forget it. There's no way you can make me stay. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: I can tell Dad. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Okay, that's one way...I can't believe you'd squeal on me. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: I can't believe you'd put me in this position. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: What about all those times you snuck in after curfew and I never said a word? Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: That's different. This is dangerous. Gia Mahan: You coming or what? Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Yeah, I'm coming. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: No, you're not. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: You're bluffing. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: I'm telling. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: I'm going. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: Dad! Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: Yeah, Deej? Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Gia, better go without me. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: Never mind! Gia Mahan: Sorry, Steph. [Exits] Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: [Angrily slams the door] I hope you're happy! From now on, STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!
	Season 8 / Episode 7: - On the Road Again Jocko: Why aren't you in your polka costume? Jesse: [Imitating Jocko] Why aren't you in Brooklyn?
	Season 8 / Episode 7: - On the Road Again D.J.: Dad, I'm almost eighteen, a senior in high school. You can't exactly tell me who to date. Danny Tanner: I'm not telling you who to date, I'm-I'm telling you who not to date.
	Season 8 / Episode 6: - You Pet It, You Bought It Danny Tanner: Don't worry, Steph. I'll write a note to your teacher. Steph: What are you going to say, "The donkey ate my homework?" I already used that one last week.
	Season 8 / Episode 6: - You Pet It, You Bought It Danny Tanner: Where should I hang this picture? Jesse: How about under the mantle? Danny Tanner: Under the mantle is the fireplace. Joey: I'll get the matches.
	Season 8 / Episode 6: - You Pet It, You Bought It Kimmy Gibbler: [Danny is deciding where to put a picture of his great-grandfather, which looks like Bob Saget] Hey, Mr. T. Danny Tanner: Hello, Kimmy. Kimmy Gibbler: Did you happen to get a picture of the front of the horse too? Danny Tanner: This happens to be one of my relatives. If you wanna see yours, you could go rent "Gorillas in the Mist."
	Season 8 / Episode 4: - I've Got a Secret D.J.: Some people like chicken and some people like steak. Kimmy Gibbler: Are you calling me chicken? D.J.: No! I'm just saying that people like different things. You can be steak. Kimmy Gibbler: Oh, so now I'm a pig? D.J.: Kimmy, steak is made of cow. Kimmy Gibbler: A cow? That's the final insult!
	Season 8 / Episode 3: - Making out is Hard to Do Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Hey, Dad. Gia is having a party tomorrow. Can I go? Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: [reading] "Adult supervision?" Gia Mahan: Mr. Tanner, my mom would NEVER let me have a party without adult supervison. Gia Mahan: Which is why I didn't tell her.
	Season 8 / Episode 3: - Making out is Hard to Do Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: I liked the rippers better when Uncle Jesse was in it. Jesse Katsopolis: Thanks, munchkin. Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: And before they had a hit song, and before they got famous, and before they're opening for the stones... Jesse Katsopolis: They're opening for the stones? Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: Only on the west coast. Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Michelle, I think that's all the help he can get.
	Season 8 / Episode 3: - Making out is Hard to Do Danny Tanner: [squeaky voice] I come in here, there's hugging, there's kissing, there's feet up on the furniture, there's... Danny Tanner: [squeaky voice] UGH! THAT STUFF IS HORRIBLE! WHAT IS THAT? I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT'S BEEN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN IT. Danny Tanner: [regular voice] I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN OPERATE HEAVY MACHINARY NOW... I don't know how my voice is back. What is that?
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - A House Divided Michelle: Hello? I'd like to order some vermin.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - A House Divided Lou Bond: [strong English accent] You again. Who arrre you? Kimmy Gibbler: [imitating his accent] The next-door neigh-barrr.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - A House Divided Michelle: We all live here.
	Season 7 / Episode 22: - A Date With Fate Becky: We have the best kids in the world. Becky: All three of them.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - Michelle a la Cart Michelle Tanner: My daddy told me that if you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. Well, my daddy's not here, and you're a weanie!
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Papouli: Of course you are!
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: Is it okay to cry?
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: Kimmy, I don't want to be seen together wearing the exact same pair of sunglasses. Kimberly 'Kimmy' Louise Gibbler: Maybe we shouldn't be seen together at all. Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: Fine with me. Kimberly 'Kimmy' Louise Gibbler: Fine with me. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Fine with me.

« previous12 3 4 5 6 7 next »

» Back to Full House TV Show