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Characters: #3 of 9 (Full List)
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 | Season 8 / Episode 23: - Michelle Rides Again (1) Jesse Katsopolis: Guess what two wacky radio show hosts have an audition for their very own late-night, wacky TV show? Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis: Casey Kasem and Howard Stern? Jesse Katsopolis: I'll give you a hint: one of them is the father of your children. Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis: Well, I said Howard Stern. |
| Season 8 / Episode 18: - We Got the Beat Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Give us a break, Uncle Jesse, we sounded okay. Jesse Katsopolis: Okay? Okay is not going to cut it. You guys aren't ready to perform in front of people. Now what you gotta do is practice over and over and over again until you can play this stuff in your sleep. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Any other complaints? Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah, you have a bad attitude. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Well that's because you're a bad manager. Jesse Katsopolis: Steph, I - I don't really need this. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Well we don't need you. Jesse Katsopolis: Really? So you guys are firing me? Kimberly 'Kimmy' Louise Gibbler: We can't fire you. You quit! Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Kimmy, I'll handle this. Jesse Katsopolis: You know, Steph, I'm sorry I got involved with your little band in the first place. Gia Mahan: Not as sorry as we are. [Jesse gives her an almost-menacing look then walks away] |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Stephanie's Wild Ride Jesse Katsopolis: [Playing a video game] Waterfall. Go up! Go up! Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson Katsopolis: It's a kayak. It doesn't go up! Jesse Katsopolis: It's enchanted for crying out loud! |
| Season 8 / Episode 3: - Making out is Hard to Do Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: I liked the rippers better when Uncle Jesse was in it. Jesse Katsopolis: Thanks, munchkin. Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: And before they had a hit song, and before they got famous, and before they're opening for the stones... Jesse Katsopolis: They're opening for the stones? Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: Only on the west coast. Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Michelle, I think that's all the help he can get. |
| Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Jesse Katsopolis: You have to give me this recipe before you leave! Papouli: No problem. This I got off a box of Moussaka Helper. |
| Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Jesse Katsopolis: I really don't dance. Papouli: You Greek, you dance! |
| Season 7 / Episode 17: - The Last Dance Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: [giving Jesse the same advice he gave her] It's okay to be sad. Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah, I heard that somewhere before. Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: [tearing up] Uncle Jesse, is it okay to cry? Jesse Katsopolis: [finally letting himself cry] You bet. [they embrace] |
| Season 7 / Episode 7: - High Anxiety Jesse Katsopolis: I'm not trying to be mean, it's just, uh, you kinda backed me in a corner down there in front of everybody with that pot incident. I mean, uh, you don't want your old man looking like a weenie, do you? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Weenie. Nicholas 'Nicky' Katsopolis #2: Weenie. Jesse Katsopolis: No jokes. Sit down. Put the chair down, and sit down. Look, we're all on the same team here, let's just do this time-out thing and get it over with. [Nicky and Alex give Bronx cheers] Okay, now you've gone too far. I'm trying to be a good guy. Nicky, Alex, you keep those little butts in those chairs and you do not move a muscle until I say it's okay. Do you understand me? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy. Nicholas 'Nicky' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy. Jesse Katsopolis: Mean Daddy? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Jesse Katsopolis: I'm not trying to be mean, it's just, uh, you kinda backed me in a corner down there in front of everybody with that pot incident. I mean, uh, you don't want your old man looking like a weenie, do you? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Weenie. Nicholas 'Nicky' Katsopolis #2: Weenie. Jesse Katsopolis: No jokes. Sit down. Put the chair down, and sit down. Look, we're all on the same team here, let's just do this time-out thing and get it over with. [Nicky and Alex give Bronx cheers] Okay, now you've gone too far. I'm trying to be a good guy. Nicky, Alex, you keep those little butts in those chairs and you do not move a muscle until I say it's okay. Do you understand me? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy Nicholas 'Nicky' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy. Jesse Katsopolis: Mean Daddy? Alexander 'Alex' Katsopolis #2: Mean Daddy. |
| Season 5 / Episode 25: - Captain Video (1) Jesse Katsopolis: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, the Beach Boys! Mike Love: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, Miss Clairol! Jesse Katsopolis: Dr. Love, how ya doin'? Bruce, how ya doin'? Heh heh, it's the Beach Boys... heh heh, I've got my hair in a... heh heh, heh heh... Jesse Katsopolis: [aside to Becky, annoyed] Thanks for the warning. Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis: Well, how was I supposed to know you'd be dying your hair - why are you dying your hair? Jesse Katsopolis: Because I'm worth it. |
| Season 4 / Episode 17: - A Fish Called Martin Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: [Getting ready to square dance] I hate to get technical but we formed a triangle. Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson: It will be much more square when my parents get here. Jesse Katsopolis: You ain't kidding. Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson: What? Jesse Katsopolis: Oh, I said... I'll do your bidding. Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson: That's all I ask. |
| Season 4 / Episode 16: - Stephanie Gets Framed Jesse Katsopolis: Steve... Steve, Steve-o. I can't help but notice that you walk like you still have the hanger in your shirt. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, thank you. Jesse Katsopolis: You're welcome. Steve, I'd like to help you because, uh, quite frankly, you need help. See, when you're walking, you gotta kinda be loose, man, like let it be cool. [starts to slowly bounce] Jesse Katsopolis: That's it. Loosen up, be very fluid. Be very fluid-y. That's it! Now... once you get it going, you shift the weight and you go. [starts walking] And it's a strut, and it's cool, and it's a strut, and it's cool. See? Like that? Steve Urkel: Very inspiring. [tries to walk, but instead of a strut, he walks sidways on his toes bouncing highly] Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh, that's close. Steve Urkel: Really? Well, oh. Well, that was a walk on the wild side. But, you should ty it with your elbows out. It's much better for circulation. Jesse Katsopolis: Oh, really? Like this? [sticks elbows out] Steve Urkel: Yeah. [Jesse starts to walk] You're doing fine. Jesse Katsopolis: You, know? I do feel the blood flowing better. Steve Urkel: Yeah. Jesse Katsopolis: It's very - WHAT AM I DOING? Steve Urkel: Well, here's another fun way to kill time. Let's share a life story. I'll go first. I was born on a cold night in Chicago, 1976, the year of America's bicenntinal. My mom was in a great deal of pain and I was charging through! And - Jesse Katsopolis: Uh, I think I hear the girls in the kitchen. Why, don't you just go and... yeah. Right in the kitchen area. |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Working Girl Jesse Katsopolis: You can accept it by saying "Jesse you're right, you've always been right and you'll always be right." Becky Donaldson: Oh I'll stitch a sampler of that and put it on the mantel. |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Working Girl Jesse Katsopolis: [noticing D.J. changed the grade on her science test from an F to an A] I wonder what an A paper sounds like? "Photosynthesis is the process in which photos are synthesized"? |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Shape Up Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: [the family has arrived at the gym to work out and Jesse is holding Michelle, to a bodybuilder] Hey, mister, you are very lumpy. Jesse Katsopolis: I hope you're not offended. And if you are, that's her father over there. |
| Season 3 / Episode 19: - Those Better Not be the Days Jesse Katsopolis: That's terrible. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: I know. Those girls living there so long. Jesse Katsopolis: No... I mean about my hair! |
| Season 3 / Episode 19: - Those Better Not be the Days Adult Kimmy: [walks in] Hola, Tanneritos! Jesse Katsopolis: Oh my god! It's Kimmy Gibbler! Adult Kimmy: Eat your heart out, boys. Adult Kimmy: Too bad you weren't nice to me when I was younger. |
| Season 3 / Episode 10: - The Greatest Birthday on Earth Jesse Katsopolis: [doing a puppet show for Michelle, since they got locked in a garage during Michelle's circus party] Hi Socko! How's your day? Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Not so good. I'm locked in a gas station...thanks to my uncle! Jesse Katsopolis: I don't think that putting the blame on the nice uncle will help anything. Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Well, you DID ask how my day was. Jesse Katsopolis: Well, yes I did- Jesse Katsopolis: Ahh! Help, I'm naked! Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: That's funny. |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Knock Yourself Out Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: [Jesse and Joey babysat an ill Michelle] She had a little cold? How do you know she had a cold? Jesse Katsopolis: She had a cough and a runny nose and no fever. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: She should have fluids. Jesse Katsopolis, Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Done. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: We should call the doctor. Jesse Katsopolis, Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Done. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: Really? Has she had her cough medicine? Jesse Katsopolis, Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Done. Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: Oh. How about changing her diaper? Jesse Katsopolis, Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Good night. |
| Previous: Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone | Next: Rebecca 'Becky' Katsopolis |
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