09x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Season 9 / Episode 1: - The One Where No One Proposes

Joey: ...Ross, to Rachel you'll never be just [makes quotation marks with fingers] "anybody".
Ross: There you go!
Joey: [makes quotation marks with fingers] "Thanks"!
08x24 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)

Monica Geller-Bing: Oh, my God, she's amazing! I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Chandler Bing: It's incredible... I mean, one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later here she is!
08x24 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)

Janice Litman-Garelnick: Oh, well then shut me up.
Rachel Green: [Rachel smiles] Just tell me how.
08x24 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)

Dr. Long: [Rachel is still not fully dilated] 21 hours. You're a hero.
Rachel Green: Doctor you've gotta do something! I... ya... you've gotta give me drugs... or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out!
08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late

Dr. Ross Geller: Rach, you ready to go?
Rachel Green: [from the bathroom] IN A MINUTE!
08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late

Doctor: It still could last a little while longer, if you're anxious, there are a few ways to help things along.
Dr. Ross Geller: Do them!
08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late

Dr. Ross Geller: You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!
08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late

Rachel Green: Hi, Doctor, how are you?
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh sure, you're nice to her
Rachel Green: She has the drugs!
08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late

Phoebe Buffay: [after Ross suggests that Rachel's outfit is inappropriate] Good God, man, don't anger it!
08x21 - The One With The Cooking Class Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class

Katie: A paleontologist who works out... you're like "Indiana Jones."
Ross: I AM like "Indiana Jones."
08x21 - The One With The Cooking Class Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class

Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! A woman flirting with a single man? We MUST alert the church elders!
08x21 - The One With The Cooking Class Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class

Rachel Green: Here I am about to pop, and Ross is picking up women at "Sluts R US".
Phoebe Buffay: Is that a real place? Are they hiring?
08x21 - The One With The Cooking Class Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class

Chandler Bing: What about you? You liked me when we first met right?
Rachel Green: Chandler I'm not gonna lie to you... but I am going to run away from you.
08x20 - The One With The Baby Shower Season 8 / Episode 20: - The One With The Baby Shower

Joey: Wh-what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance, you go past the Mudhut, through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey, you yank his tail, and Boom! you're in Paradise Pond!
08x20 - The One With The Baby Shower Season 8 / Episode 20: - The One With The Baby Shower

Rachel Green: [after being told how often a baby soils a diaper] It goes ten times a day? What are we feeding this kid, Indian food?
08x19 - The One With Joey's Interview Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview

Joey: You guys have to be at the next table in case I, you know, start to say something stupid.
Ross: Just now, or all the time? Because we have jobs you know.
08x19 - The One With Joey's Interview Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview

Interviewer: One last question. Other than "Days of Our Lives" what other soap operas do you watch?
Joey: Oh I don't watch soap operas. I mean excuse me, I have a life you know.
Interviewer: Thank you. I'm sure the readers of Soap Opera Digest will be very interested to hear that.
08x19 - The One With Joey's Interview Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview

Joey: In my spare time I... uh... read to the blind. And I'm also a Mento for the kids. You know, a mento... a role model.
Interviewer: A Mento?
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
08x18 - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy)

Parker: I'm sorry if I put a good spin on everything. It's who I am, I'm a positive person.
Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus... on prozac... in Disney Land... getting laid.
08x18 - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy)

Chandler: Somewhere there is a man with a tranquilizer and a butterfly net looking for that man.
08x18 - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy)

Parker: I wanna take a mental picture of you all - "click"
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off
08x18 - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy)

Parker: You know, this apartment is... there are no words.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God.
Parker: It's a haven. A modern day Eden in the mist of...
Phoebe: [interrupting] Yeah, I know. I know. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.
08x17 - The One With The Tea Leaves Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves

Rachel Green: I thought Joey and I would be OK once we hung out but it's like we don't even know how to be with each other anymore.
Chandler Bing: I know it's tough now, but things will get better.
Rachel Green: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other?
Chandler Bing: I'm not great at the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
08x17 - The One With The Tea Leaves Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves

Monica Geller-Bing: Honey? Why is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Cat Stevens case?
Chandler Bing: Let's just say if I can't find the right CD case I just put them in the nearest one.
Monica Geller-Bing: Ok, well, where's the Cat Stevens CD?
Chandler Bing: In the James Taylor case.
Monica Geller-Bing: Where's the James Taylor CD?
Chandler Bing: Honey, I'll save you some time: two hundred CDs? Not one of them in the right case.
08x17 - The One With The Tea Leaves Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves

Monica Geller-Bing: [holding Chandler's CD] Honey? The Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Chandler Bing: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money.
08x17 - The One With The Tea Leaves Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves

Jim: I write... Erotic novels, for children.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God!
Jim: They're wildly unpopular... and it might interest you to know that I have a PhD.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh yeah?
Jim: Yup, A pretty *huge d...*
08x16 - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Season 8 / Episode 16: - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel

Ross: I don't... Rachel?
Joey: Ross...
Ross: Rachel?


Gunther: RACHEL?
08x16 - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Season 8 / Episode 16: - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel

Monica: Joey isn't even thinking Bout going after Rachel. All he is thinking about is how you are taking this. I mean it's completely freaking him out. He's talking about loving yo Vermont.
Ross: Why?
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country.
08x15 - The One With The Birthing Video Season 8 / Episode 15: - The One With The Birthing Video

Chandler: Before this, the most disturbing thing I ever saw was my dad doing tequila shots off the pool boy. Now, I'd gladly use that image as my screensaver.
08x14 - The One With The Secret Closet Season 8 / Episode 14: - The One With The Secret Closet

Joey Tribbiani: Do you have a bobby pin?
Chandler Bing: Yeah. Oh, wait, I'm not a nine-year-old girl.
Joey Tribbiani: Then why do you throw like one?