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 | Season 9 / Episode 1: - The One Where No One Proposes Joey: ...Ross, to Rachel you'll never be just [makes quotation marks with fingers] "anybody". Ross: There you go! Joey: [makes quotation marks with fingers] "Thanks"! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Monica Geller-Bing: Oh, my God, she's amazing! I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex! Chandler Bing: It's incredible... I mean, one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later here she is! |
| Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Janice Litman-Garelnick: Oh, well then shut me up. Rachel Green: [Rachel smiles] Just tell me how. |
| Season 8 / Episode 24: - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2) Dr. Long: [Rachel is still not fully dilated] 21 hours. You're a hero. Rachel Green: Doctor you've gotta do something! I... ya... you've gotta give me drugs... or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late Dr. Ross Geller: Rach, you ready to go? Rachel Green: [from the bathroom] IN A MINUTE! |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late Doctor: It still could last a little while longer, if you're anxious, there are a few ways to help things along. Dr. Ross Geller: Do them! |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late Dr. Ross Geller: You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil! |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late Rachel Green: Hi, Doctor, how are you? Dr. Ross Geller: Oh sure, you're nice to her Rachel Green: She has the drugs! |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - The One Where Rachel Is Late Phoebe Buffay: [after Ross suggests that Rachel's outfit is inappropriate] Good God, man, don't anger it! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class Katie: A paleontologist who works out... you're like "Indiana Jones." Ross: I AM like "Indiana Jones." |
| Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! A woman flirting with a single man? We MUST alert the church elders! |
| Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class Rachel Green: Here I am about to pop, and Ross is picking up women at "Sluts R US". Phoebe Buffay: Is that a real place? Are they hiring? |
| Season 8 / Episode 21: - The One With The Cooking Class Chandler Bing: What about you? You liked me when we first met right? Rachel Green: Chandler I'm not gonna lie to you... but I am going to run away from you. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 20: - The One With The Baby Shower Joey: Wh-what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance, you go past the Mudhut, through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey, you yank his tail, and Boom! you're in Paradise Pond! |
| Season 8 / Episode 20: - The One With The Baby Shower Rachel Green: [after being told how often a baby soils a diaper] It goes ten times a day? What are we feeding this kid, Indian food? |
 | Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview Joey: You guys have to be at the next table in case I, you know, start to say something stupid. Ross: Just now, or all the time? Because we have jobs you know. |
| Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview Interviewer: One last question. Other than "Days of Our Lives" what other soap operas do you watch? Joey: Oh I don't watch soap operas. I mean excuse me, I have a life you know. Interviewer: Thank you. I'm sure the readers of Soap Opera Digest will be very interested to hear that. |
| Season 8 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Interview Joey: In my spare time I... uh... read to the blind. And I'm also a Mento for the kids. You know, a mento... a role model. Interviewer: A Mento? Joey: Right. Interviewer: Like the candy? Joey: Matter of fact, I do. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Parker: I'm sorry if I put a good spin on everything. It's who I am, I'm a positive person. Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus... on prozac... in Disney Land... getting laid. |
| Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Chandler: Somewhere there is a man with a tranquilizer and a butterfly net looking for that man. |
| Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Parker: I wanna take a mental picture of you all - "click" Chandler: I don't think the flash went off |
| Season 8 / Episode 18: - The One In Massapequa (a.k.a. The One With The Zesty Guy) Parker: You know, this apartment is... there are no words. Phoebe: Oh, thank God. Parker: It's a haven. A modern day Eden in the mist of... Phoebe: [interrupting] Yeah, I know. I know. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves Rachel Green: I thought Joey and I would be OK once we hung out but it's like we don't even know how to be with each other anymore. Chandler Bing: I know it's tough now, but things will get better. Rachel Green: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other? Chandler Bing: I'm not great at the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? |
| Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves Monica Geller-Bing: Honey? Why is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Cat Stevens case? Chandler Bing: Let's just say if I can't find the right CD case I just put them in the nearest one. Monica Geller-Bing: Ok, well, where's the Cat Stevens CD? Chandler Bing: In the James Taylor case. Monica Geller-Bing: Where's the James Taylor CD? Chandler Bing: Honey, I'll save you some time: two hundred CDs? Not one of them in the right case. |
| Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves Monica Geller-Bing: [holding Chandler's CD] Honey? The Miami Vice soundtrack? Really? Chandler Bing: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money. |
| Season 8 / Episode 17: - The One With The Tea Leaves Jim: I write... Erotic novels, for children. Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! Jim: They're wildly unpopular... and it might interest you to know that I have a PhD. Phoebe Buffay: Oh yeah? Jim: Yup, A pretty *huge d...* |
 | Season 8 / Episode 16: - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Ross: I don't... Rachel? Joey: Ross... Ross: Rachel? Gunther: RACHEL? |
| Season 8 / Episode 16: - The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Monica: Joey isn't even thinking Bout going after Rachel. All he is thinking about is how you are taking this. I mean it's completely freaking him out. He's talking about loving yo Vermont. Ross: Why? Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 15: - The One With The Birthing Video Chandler: Before this, the most disturbing thing I ever saw was my dad doing tequila shots off the pool boy. Now, I'd gladly use that image as my screensaver. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 14: - The One With The Secret Closet Joey Tribbiani: Do you have a bobby pin? Chandler Bing: Yeah. Oh, wait, I'm not a nine-year-old girl. Joey Tribbiani: Then why do you throw like one? |
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