Joey Tribbiani

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Matt LeBlanc
Matt LeBlanc was born on 25 July 1967 in Newton, Massachussetts, to an Italian mother and a father of ...

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Joey Tribbiani Quotes

	Unknown Episode: Joey Tribbiani: It's like I would have said in that science fiction movie if I’d have gotten the part "our men are in there and we have to get them out, even if I have to sacrifice my most precious thing in the world, my time machine" Chandler: Did that movie ever get made? Joey Tribbiani: It did not.
	Season 10 / Episode 16: - The One With Rachel's Going Away Party (a.k.a. The One Where Rachel Goes To Paris) Dr. Ross Geller: What?! I don't get a good-bye?! Joey Tribbiani: Lucky bastard!
	Season 10 / Episode 15: - The One Where Estelle Dies Joey Tribbiani: [at Estelle's memorial] Thank you for coming. We are here to pay our respects to a wonderful agent, and a beautiful woman. Inside.
	Season 10 / Episode 12: - The One With Phoebe's Wedding Joey Tribbiani: [officiating Phoebe and Mike's wedding] Friends, family, dog, thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place, so I'm gonna do the short version of this.
	Season 10 / Episode 10: - The One Where Chandler Gets Caught Chandler Bing: Hey! Joey Tribbiani: You son of a bitch! Chandler Bing: Is it me, or have the greetings gotten downhill around here?
	Season 10 / Episode 1: - The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss Rachel Green: Joey. Joey Tribbiani: Is he gone? Rachel Green: How are you doing this?
	Season 9 / Episode 20: - The One With The Soap Opera Party Rachel Green: You are having a party tonight? Joey Tribbiani: I am kind of having a thing for the Days of Our Lives people. Rachel Green: And you weren't gonna tell us? How did you thing you were gonna get away with that? Joey Tribbiani: I do it every year. Rachel Green: You do it every year? Joey Tribbiani: I didn't have to tell you that! Rachel Green: That's why you got us tickets to that play! To get rid of us! Joey Tribbiani: Yeah... Rachel Green: And last year, is that why you sent us to that Medieval times restaurant? Joey Tribbiani: Yeah... Rachel Green: And the year before that, when you set up that nightime tour of that button factory! Joey Tribbiani: I can't believe you guys went for that one!
	Season 9 / Episode 15: - The One With The Mugging Joey Tribbiani: [Chandler is showing the shoes he has to come up with an ad for] Wow! Its like they're on fire!
	Season 9 / Episode 13: - The One Where Monica Sings Joey Tribbiani: [after Chandler fixes his eyebrows] They look great. How you doing?
	Season 9 / Episode 11: - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Phoebe Buffay: Who's going to die? Joey Tribbiani: Um...Man with Eyepatch!
	Season 9 / Episode 4: - The One With The Sharks Joey Tribbiani: Look, I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses. Gunther: HA! Joey Tribbiani: [turns round] Gesundheit. Hayley: I would love to go out with you. Joey Tribbiani: Really, great... did I actually ask you? Hayley: No, that's just where you were going. I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this a lot. Gunther: HA! Joey Tribbiani: [turns round again] Seriously Gunther, you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! [Gunther looks scared]
	Season 8 / Episode 14: - The One With The Secret Closet Joey Tribbiani: Do you have a bobby pin? Chandler Bing: Yeah. Oh, wait, I'm not a nine-year-old girl. Joey Tribbiani: Then why do you throw like one?
	Season 8 / Episode 12: - The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel Greene: [Joey comes home from a date] Oh, thank God you're home. I'm watching Cujo. Joey Tribbiani: [Surprised] Alone? Rachel Greene: Yes. [Concerned] What is wrong with this dog? Joey Tribbiani: Hey, did you get to the part where they're trapped in the car and Cujo's throwin' himself at the windshield? Rachel Greene: No... seriously, what's wrong with this dog?
	Season 8 / Episode 2: - The One With The Red Sweater Joey Tribbiani: Rachel, will you marry me? Rachel Green: What? Monica Geller-Bing: What? Phoebe Buffay: WHAT!
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The One With Chandler And Monica's Wedding (2) Monica Geller-Bing: Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go! Chandler Bing: Monica, I though this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when i saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you. And surprises that come our way, it's ok, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? Joey Tribbiani: You may now kiss the bride. So I guess by the powers vested in me by the state of New York and the internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. O WAIT! Do you take eachother? Monica Geller-Bing: I do. Chandler Bing: I do.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The One With Chandler And Monica's Wedding (2) Joey Tribbiani: Look, I have somewhere I need to be, so if we can shoot the scene fast, that'd be great. But, I don't need to tell you, you're a professional. Richard Crosby: ...I'm wearing two belts. Joey Tribbiani: Are you drunk? Richard Crosby: No! Joey Tribbiani: Yes, you are! Richard Crosby: Well, all right.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress [Host]: [after realizing Kristen, currently Ross' date, has left during their argument] Gellar, party of two? Ross Geller: Ya hungry? Joey Tribbiani: Does a bear shit in the woods?
	Season 7 / Episode 13: - The One Where Rosita Dies Joey Tribbiani: No. Rosita does not move. Rachel Green: I'm sorry? Rosita? As in... Joey Tribbiani: As in, "Rosita does not move." Rachel Green: Joey, it's just a chair! What's the big deal? Joey Tribbiani: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so you don't get any glare coming off of Stevie. Rachel Green: Stevie the TV?
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The One With Joey's Fridge Joey Tribbiani: Say we were a divorced couple and I got custody of the kid. Then say the kid dies and I have to get a new kid. Chandler Bing: [looking confused] Okay... Joey Tribbiani: [pause] GIVE ME $400!
	Season 6 / Episode 9: - The One Where Ross Got High Ross: Meat on a dessert? That is not possible. Joey Tribbiani: I know, and only one layer of jam? What is up with that?
	Season 6 / Episode 9: - The One Where Ross Got High Ross: It tastes like feet! Joey Tribbiani: Well, I like it. Ross: Are you kidding? Joey Tribbiani: I mean, what's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - The One With Joey's Big Break Joey Tribbiani: Where do you wanna eat? Chandler: I don't know... Joey Tribbiani: I know how we can decide. I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. So, clear your mind. Clear it tight out. Clear it out. Clear it. Chandler: Ok! Ok, it's all clear except for this image of a small, purple lamp. Is that all right if that stays in there?
	Season 5 / Episode 18: - The One Where Rachel Smokes Joey Tribbiani: Come on, Ross! I should be in this commercial! Even Chandler thinks so! Ross: Is this true, Chandler? Chandler: Uh.. .um... hey, who's that at the door? Chandler: Oh, hi, no-one!
	Season 5 / Episode 5: - The One With The Kips Chandler: What else you got? Magazines, Diretoes... Condoms? Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you don't know how long where going to be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth. Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Phoebe: [on phone] I have found a selfless good deed. I went to the park and let a bee sting me. Joey Tribbiani: How is that a selfless good deed? Phoebe: It makes the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee's happy and I am definitely not. Joey Tribbiani: Uh, Pheebs, you know the bee probably died after it stung you? Phoebe: [stares blankly] ...Dammit. [hangs up]
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - The One With All The Rugby Joey Tribbiani: [of Janice] So you bring her here? There's people here!
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - The One With All The Rugby Dr. Ross Geller: I'm man enough for this. Joey Tribbiani: Ross, you aren't even man enough to have the channel that carries this.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - The One With All The Rugby Janice Litman: I'm riding the alimony pony! [braying laugh] Joey Tribbiani: [aside] And there it is...
	Season 4 / Episode 14: - The One With Joey's Dirty Day Joey Tribbiani: [talking about Chandler being depressed after breaking up with Kathy] DOn't worry. He's still in his sweats. That's phase one! Don't worry... I'll be back for phase 2. Monica: What's phase 2? Joey Tribbiani: Getting drunk and going to the strip club!
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - The One With Rachel's Crush Joey Tribbiani: Whoa, whoa, that was just a theory. There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. Lone Gunman. Communism. Geometry. Chandler Bing: OH MY GOD!

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