Freaks and Geeks Quotes

Freaks and Geeks

- Episode Quotes

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Freaks and Geeks Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Discos and Dragons Bill Haverchuck: He thinks being the Dungeon Master gives him the license to mess with our heads. Harris Trinsky: Oh, I'm Sorry. Perhaps I should let you encounter kittens and grandmas so as not to upset you.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Discos and Dragons Daniel Desario: Greetings Princess. It is I, Carlos the Dwarf. The dragon has been slain and you're free to rule your kingdom.
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - Smooching and Mooching Lindsay Weir: Dad, give me one good reason why there can't be a woman president. Harold Weir: It's called three irrational days per month. Now, I would have no issue with the other twenty seven, but we're talking about the atomic bomb here.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Noshing and Moshing Daniel Desario: What, so it's my fault that you left your stuff in my car? Kim Kelly: No, it's your fault that you're the most unreliable person ever. Daniel Desario: Well, you're certainly reliable, you're always a BITCH!
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Looks and Books Bill Haverchuck: It's a Parisian night suit in case you didn't know. Gordon Crisp: A Parisian! Ooh la la! Neal Schweiber: It's not a Parisian. It's a jumpsuit. My grandfather in Florida wears them all the time because he's too lazy to put on pants.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Diary Kim Kelly: Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and throw it over that fence.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Diary Harold Weir: Well, everybody's got parents, Jean, even hookers. Remember that TV movie we saw?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Diary Jock: The geeks have inherited the earth.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Girlfriends and Boyfriends Bill Haverchuck: She cut the cheese!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Girlfriends and Boyfriends Jean Weir: [speaking to Lindsay about her virginity] Honey, tell her about Korea. Harold Weir: Korea? Well, one day I went to Seoul on a weekend pass and I went to this bar, and I had a few to many. And I followed a couple of my buddies to the Red Light District... Jean Weir: Your fathers first time wasn't special and he's always regreted it. Harold Weir: It was the worst five dollars I've ever spent. And I wish I could get those five dollars back!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Girlfriends and Boyfriends Bill Haverchuck: It wasn't the sound of the chair, it was the sound of cheese being cut!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Carded and Discarded Neal Schweiber: Had to bring the big rocket, didn't you? Bill Haverchuck: What... I got a big rocket, what am I supposed to do, cut it in half?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Carded and Discarded Lindsay Weir: I don't need your help. Jeff Rosso: Ok. Tell you what. Why don't I just visit you then in the prison, where you'll be living, and give you some really good advice, like, y'know, should you get shanked in the yard or in the dining hall? When you have your baby, which prison guard should take care of it? That kind of thing. That'd be a great way to do my job, don't ya think? Lindsay Weir: Y'know, only time will tell. See you at the prison yard.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - I'm With the Band Sam Weir: Cindy Sanders is, like, a librarian type. Neal Schweiber: Yeah, librarian for the Playboy mansion.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - I'm With the Band Jean Weir: Lindsay, just say the words, it'll make him feel better. Lindsay Weir: Sam, you have a beautiful body, you're an Adonis, a slab of beef. If I wasn't your sister... Oh, my God!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - I'm With the Band Neal Schweiber: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor. Bill Haverchuck: But you're not funny. Neal Schweiber: Screw you. I'm hilarious!
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Tests and Breasts Alan White: Excuse me, Dr. Love, would you autograph my genitals?
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Tests and Breasts Neal Schweiber: [Looking at the movie that Daniel has loned them] Whoa, its a naked woman! Bill Haverchuck: What's she doing? Neal Schweiber: Who cares, she's naked!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Kim Kelly is My Friend Kim Kelly: My aunt Cathy was so rad. She lived in L.A., she was on "Kojak." She doinked Ryan O'Neal once at a party. Lindsay Weir: Wow, she sounds awesome! Kim Kelly: Yeah, well she's dead. She OD'd on coke.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Kim Kelly is My Friend Millie Kentner: I heard about what she does in the yearbook darkroom. Lindsay Weir: What? She does what? I have no idea what you're talking about. Millie Kentner: She does it. Lindsay Weir: What do you mean, it? Millie Kentner: She fornicates it!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Kim Kelly is My Friend Millie Kentner: I heard about what she does in the yearbook darkroom. Lindsay Weir: What does she do? Millie Kentner: She ya'know does it. Lindsay Weir: What do you mean does it? Millie Kentner: She fornicates it!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Beers and Weirs Daniel Desario: Wow. That designated driver's pretty hot. I'd like to get her drunk.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Beers and Weirs Harold Weir: Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans! Sam Weir: Yeah, but he died on the toilet! Harold Weir: The toilet? That's like heaven compared to where the Sex Pistols are going!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Beers and Weirs Sam Weir: What's non-alcoholic beer? Bill Haverchuck: It's just like beer but it doesn't have that ingredient that makes you drunk. Neal Schweiber: Alcohol? Bill Haverchuck: Yeah.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Sam Weir: My dad always tells me that the prettiest girls don't get asked out because guys are too afraid to ask them Bill Haverchuck: Really? Maybe I should ask out Farrah Fawcett-Majors Neal Schweiber: Hey, maybe I should ask out Bill's mom Bill Haverchuck: You'd better not!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Alan White: [taunting Sam Weir] I've never fought a girl before. Lindsay Weir: [from behind him] I'm a girl. You wanna fight me?
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Nick Andopolis: Look, these teachers...these teachers want us to work, you know? And I say fine...I'll work. But you gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do. And for me, Lindsay, it's my- it's my drum kit, man. This my passion, you know? This is- this is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I was lost too. You see what I'm saying? You need to find...your reason for- for living, man. You've got to find, your big, just gigantic drum kit, you know?
	Unknown Episode: Neal Schweiber: The dance is tomorrow. She's a cheerleader, you've seen Star Wars 27 times. You do the math.
	Unknown Episode: Ken Miller: I have to get into a bar. Everything fun in life happens in bars.
	Unknown Episode: Millie Kentner: You're high! Lindsay Weir: How could you tell? Millie Kentner: I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.

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