Freakazoid! Quotes

Freakazoid!

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Statuesque Wailin' Jeepers: Vorn, I respect your work very much. But let's do this my way, OK? Vorn the Unspeakable: I want to eat them! [Freakazoid, Cosgrove, and Professor Jones] Wailin' Jeepers: NO! Vorn the Unspeakable: What if I eat you? Wailin' Jeepers: I . . . would resent that.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Statuesque Wailin' Jeepers: [Having finally made a successful Medusa Watch and tested it out on a pigeon] The power of the Gorgons is finally mine! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha, uh oh. Freakazoid: Gimme that thing, you nut! [snatches the watch] Wailin' Jeepers: Mine! Mine! Give! Mine! Freakazoid: Will you stop it! First it was gold beavers, now it's stone pigeons! While don't you get a regular job?! Wailin' Jeepers: [snivels a moment] Return my watch, and I'll give you a jar of nickels. Freakazoid: Sure! Wait, no, forget it. I'm keeping this until you're responsible enough to have a strange and mystical watch. Bye! [leaves] Wailin' Jeepers: Freakzoid will pay. Oh, is he going to get it! I'm very passive aggressive!
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Statuesque Hippie guitar player: [singing] # Hey man. Whoah man. Hey man. Whoah man. I hate you all. Give me money. Hey man. Whoa man #
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - A Matter of Love Crowd of people: HUGGBEES! Announcer: HUGGBEES! Moose: HUGGBEES! Lady: Moose...
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Joe's Very Own Story / Virtual Freak Freakazoid: KICK ME WITH A LEAD BOOT!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Dexter's Date The Lobe: [Watching Seinfeld and laughing] The key to the whole show is Newman.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Sorry I didn't help you out sooner kid. I thought you were doing one of your little skits. Freakazoid: I don't know what it is, Cosgrove. It's like... all of a sudden there was this disruption in my energy field. Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: You mean like that force thingy is Star Wars? Freakazoid: Yeah, that's it! Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: I like that movie. Carrie Fisher's a real cutie pie.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Armondo Guitierrez: I don't want to wait a few more weeks! I must have access to the internet NOW! Today! Warden Riba: It's just that, prisoners aren't supposed to have phones! Armondo Guitierrez: If I don't get a phone line lickity split, I shall squeeze you. And I shall keep on squeezing you until all your man juices run dry! Warden Riba: ...Ew.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Roddy MacStew: Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful. Freakazoid: If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in? Roddy MacStew: You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is Guitierrez sabotaged that energy field that powers you here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better then a dried up piece of fleshy haggis! Ooh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting you, lad. He's made sure you have no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ye. Freakazoid: Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show. Roddy MacStew: Aye! That's what I told them! But no! All the cruddy exposition goes to me! I've got to talk and talk, and fiddle with the computer and talk so more, and fiddle and talk! I feel like Obi-Wan Cruddy Kenobi! Freakazoid: Roddy... settle. Roddy MacStew: Alright, we're ready. Freakazoid: Aren't you coming? Roddy MacStew: Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He wants you... alone. There! That's the last of the cruddy exposition, thank you very much!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: Hey, you've been doing sit-ups! Armondo Guitierrez: I took the liberty of improving up on the flaw that created us both. I am not more powerful then you can possibly imagine! Freakazoid: Yes but can you dance? Armondo Guitierrez: Yes! Freakazoid: Wow...
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: You weenie! Armondo Guitierrez: A weenie? YOU are the weenie! And now I will have my revenge! It is because of you that I spent six long months locked away in a prison cell! Six months caged like an animal in a cage! Freakazoid: Kay... settle.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Armondo Guitierrez: I will enjoy watching you perish, Freakazoid! Ha ha ha ha ha! Laugh with me, laugh with me! [laughs] Freakazoid: He's such a weenie. Armondo Guitierrez: I am not a weenie! You are the weenie!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: A bowl! I got a bowl! Good for me!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: Good for me! Armondo Guitierrez: Yes, good for you, Freakazoid. I must say I'm surprised. Well done. Freakazoid: Can I go now? Armondo Guitierrez: Oh no, my friend. We have had our fun, but now it is time for you to be eliminated. Freakazoid: But you said... Armondo Guitierrez: I said if you found the key you would not be "deleted". I made no other promises. Freakazoid: You ween... Armondo Guitierrez: Don't say the weenie word! No, no no!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Armondo Guitierrez: Freakazoid, help me! Would you let your father fall? Freakazoid: My father? You're my father? Armondo Guitierrez: Oh, yes, I am your father. Freakazoid: Well, who...? Who was my mother? Armondo Guitierrez: Uh, uh... Faye Dunaway. Freakazoid: No, she's not! Armondo Guitierrez: Uh... Kaye Ballard? Freakazoid: Kaye? Nah. Armondo Guitierrez: Would you believe Sandy Duncan?
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: I tried looking for Guitierrez, but he was gone. So i fixed my power supply and amde sure Roddy wasn't locked out anymore. Roddy MacStew: Good job, lad. Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Pretty interesting story, Freakazoid. But there's something I don't get. Freakazoid: What's that, Cosgrove? Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: In that movie "Congo", how do you tell the difference between the real monkey and the guy in a monkey suit?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - In Arms Way / The Cloud Freakazoid: That'a tingled my bottom!
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Relax-O-Vision / Fatman and Boy Blubber / Limbo Lock-up / Terror Palace Fatman: I've got a stitch in my side, and I've lost my freshness!
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Relax-O-Vision / Fatman and Boy Blubber / Limbo Lock-up / Terror Palace Fatman: If either of you ever again ridicule an overweight person, I will personally sit on you!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hot Rods from Heck / A Time for Evil The Hunstman: Darn the luck! Darn!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hot Rods from Heck / A Time for Evil Freakazoid: The Freakazone is where I have all my profound thoughts. Heres one now 'Take... over Switzerland... get all the chocolate!' off the top of my head-What do you want from me?
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hot Rods from Heck / A Time for Evil Announcer: We interrupt our program to bring you this important message. Announcer: I love you. Announcer: Now, back to our show.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Chip (Act IV) / Freakazoid is History Freakazoid: Somehow I've gone back in time. I'm in Hawaii! It's the 1940s! All men wear hats! What gives?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Chip (Act IV) / Freakazoid is History Armondo Guitierrez: If news of the flaw got out, my company would be ruined. Roddy MacStew: At least let the lad go. Armondo Guitierrez: No, I cannot. Roddy MacStew: Why? Armondo Guitierrez: Because he tasks me. He tasks me. Round the moons of Snibya, I chuckle at thee. Beyond the Corpian clouds, I chuckle more at thee. Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins. Kirk, old friend, I... Oh, sorry.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Chip (Act IV) / Freakazoid is History Freakazoid: Hey, what is this place? Palm trees, hula girls, pineapples, hula girls, surfboards, hula girls, hula girls, hula girls! Of course, it all adds up, I've somehow landed in Norway.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Chip (Acts I - III) Freakazoid: Say 'Grandma Moses, makes munchy meals most Monday mornings!' GO!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Chip (Acts I - III) Duncan Douglas: [at bathroom door] Dexter! Open the door you little dip, I gotta make tinky!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Chip (Acts I - III) Our Narrator: Ladies and gentlement, the President of the Motion Picture Association of America, Mr. Jack Valenti. Jack Valenti: Hello, I'm Jack Valenti, and these are my cheeks. You know, we get a lot of letters here at the Motion Picture Association of America. And most of them are about my cheeks. Still, there have been a few letters asking us all about Freakazoid. Letters like this one from Miss Ida Lupins of Santa Susana City. And she writes, "Dear Mr. Valenti, I like your cheeks. I'd like to know how Freakazoid got his start as a superhero. What were the special circumstances? My home is made of adobe." Well, Miss Lupins, you're in luck. As it just so happens, we've produced a special little motion picture about Freakazoid's origins that's filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. So sit back, relax and enjoy Freakazoid's origins. Our Narrator: And now... our feature presentation.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Mo-Ron / The Sewer Rescue / The Big Question / The Legends Who Lunch Lord Bravery: [to his mother-in-law] Most people your age die. Why won't you?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Candle Jack / Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet / The Lobe Steff: Thanks. [kisses Freakazoid] Our Narrator: SCREAM! [someone screams] Freakazoid: Knock it off! Freakazoid: [in a somewhat more heroic voice] Well I better be going, for somewhere there are wrongs to right. There are foes to fight. There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth. [normal voice] I'd have that taken care of it can lead to insanity. Steff: [licks her teeth] When will I see you again? Freakazoid: Well, if I know my cartoons, and, I do, I'll be back later on to rescue you from something Really horrible! Bye-Bye!

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