Freakazoid

Freakazoid!

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Characters: #2 of 15 (Full List)

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Played by:

Paul Rugg

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Freakazoid Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Statuesque Wailin' Jeepers: [Having finally made a successful Medusa Watch and tested it out on a pigeon] The power of the Gorgons is finally mine! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha, uh oh. Freakazoid: Gimme that thing, you nut! [snatches the watch] Wailin' Jeepers: Mine! Mine! Give! Mine! Freakazoid: Will you stop it! First it was gold beavers, now it's stone pigeons! While don't you get a regular job?! Wailin' Jeepers: [snivels a moment] Return my watch, and I'll give you a jar of nickels. Freakazoid: Sure! Wait, no, forget it. I'm keeping this until you're responsible enough to have a strange and mystical watch. Bye! [leaves] Wailin' Jeepers: Freakzoid will pay. Oh, is he going to get it! I'm very passive aggressive!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Joe's Very Own Story / Virtual Freak Freakazoid: KICK ME WITH A LEAD BOOT!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Sorry I didn't help you out sooner kid. I thought you were doing one of your little skits. Freakazoid: I don't know what it is, Cosgrove. It's like... all of a sudden there was this disruption in my energy field. Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: You mean like that force thingy is Star Wars? Freakazoid: Yeah, that's it! Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: I like that movie. Carrie Fisher's a real cutie pie.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Roddy MacStew: Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful. Freakazoid: If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in? Roddy MacStew: You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is Guitierrez sabotaged that energy field that powers you here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better then a dried up piece of fleshy haggis! Ooh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting you, lad. He's made sure you have no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ye. Freakazoid: Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show. Roddy MacStew: Aye! That's what I told them! But no! All the cruddy exposition goes to me! I've got to talk and talk, and fiddle with the computer and talk so more, and fiddle and talk! I feel like Obi-Wan Cruddy Kenobi! Freakazoid: Roddy... settle. Roddy MacStew: Alright, we're ready. Freakazoid: Aren't you coming? Roddy MacStew: Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He wants you... alone. There! That's the last of the cruddy exposition, thank you very much!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: Hey, you've been doing sit-ups! Armondo Guitierrez: I took the liberty of improving up on the flaw that created us both. I am not more powerful then you can possibly imagine! Freakazoid: Yes but can you dance? Armondo Guitierrez: Yes! Freakazoid: Wow...
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: You weenie! Armondo Guitierrez: A weenie? YOU are the weenie! And now I will have my revenge! It is because of you that I spent six long months locked away in a prison cell! Six months caged like an animal in a cage! Freakazoid: Kay... settle.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Armondo Guitierrez: I will enjoy watching you perish, Freakazoid! Ha ha ha ha ha! Laugh with me, laugh with me! [laughs] Freakazoid: He's such a weenie. Armondo Guitierrez: I am not a weenie! You are the weenie!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: A bowl! I got a bowl! Good for me!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: Good for me! Armondo Guitierrez: Yes, good for you, Freakazoid. I must say I'm surprised. Well done. Freakazoid: Can I go now? Armondo Guitierrez: Oh no, my friend. We have had our fun, but now it is time for you to be eliminated. Freakazoid: But you said... Armondo Guitierrez: I said if you found the key you would not be "deleted". I made no other promises. Freakazoid: You ween... Armondo Guitierrez: Don't say the weenie word! No, no no!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Armondo Guitierrez: Freakazoid, help me! Would you let your father fall? Freakazoid: My father? You're my father? Armondo Guitierrez: Oh, yes, I am your father. Freakazoid: Well, who...? Who was my mother? Armondo Guitierrez: Uh, uh... Faye Dunaway. Freakazoid: No, she's not! Armondo Guitierrez: Uh... Kaye Ballard? Freakazoid: Kaye? Nah. Armondo Guitierrez: Would you believe Sandy Duncan?
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Deadpan / The Wrath of Guitierrez Freakazoid: I tried looking for Guitierrez, but he was gone. So i fixed my power supply and amde sure Roddy wasn't locked out anymore. Roddy MacStew: Good job, lad. Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Pretty interesting story, Freakazoid. But there's something I don't get. Freakazoid: What's that, Cosgrove? Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: In that movie "Congo", how do you tell the difference between the real monkey and the guy in a monkey suit?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - In Arms Way / The Cloud Freakazoid: That'a tingled my bottom!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hot Rods from Heck / A Time for Evil Freakazoid: The Freakazone is where I have all my profound thoughts. Heres one now 'Take... over Switzerland... get all the chocolate!' off the top of my head-What do you want from me?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Chip (Act IV) / Freakazoid is History Freakazoid: Somehow I've gone back in time. I'm in Hawaii! It's the 1940s! All men wear hats! What gives?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Chip (Act IV) / Freakazoid is History Freakazoid: Hey, what is this place? Palm trees, hula girls, pineapples, hula girls, surfboards, hula girls, hula girls, hula girls! Of course, it all adds up, I've somehow landed in Norway.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Chip (Acts I - III) Freakazoid: Say 'Grandma Moses, makes munchy meals most Monday mornings!' GO!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Candle Jack / Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet / The Lobe Steff: Thanks. [kisses Freakazoid] Our Narrator: SCREAM! [someone screams] Freakazoid: Knock it off! Freakazoid: [in a somewhat more heroic voice] Well I better be going, for somewhere there are wrongs to right. There are foes to fight. There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth. [normal voice] I'd have that taken care of it can lead to insanity. Steff: [licks her teeth] When will I see you again? Freakazoid: Well, if I know my cartoons, and, I do, I'll be back later on to rescue you from something Really horrible! Bye-Bye!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Candle Jack / Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet / The Lobe Freakazoid: [while making a 'Flying sound', runs in front of, and past, Candle Jack and Steff, goes off screen, then runs back on screen backwards, pauses, and runs toward them] Well if it isn't... Steff, Dr. Gunther Hunterhanker, Additional Voices: No! Freakazoid: What? I was just gonna say... Steff, Dr. Gunther Hunterhanker, Additional Voices: No! Dr. Gunther Hunterhanker: Don't say it! Freakazoid: Don't say what? Steff: Don't say his name! Freakazoid: You mean don't say 'Candle Jack'? Steff: [screen wipes] Freakazoid, why did you say his name? Freakazoid: 'Cause I-I wanted to do one of those funny things like, you remember in F-Troop where Agarn says "There's no way I'm wearin' a dress, absolutely not! No dress!" and Forrest Tucker's like "Yeah your wearin' that dress! Your gonna wear that dress!" and then they wipe [makes a scene wiping noise] and Agarn's wearin a dress. [shows Agarn wearing the dress] Candle Jack: Oh, I love that bit. There, I'll be right back, I've got to go charter a bus. Believe it or not.
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: Don't let me fall into nothingness! I won't be happy there!
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: If this were an after-school special, ooh, you'd pay a bittersweet price for your little deceit, like getting big oily zits! Or eating off the same plate as David Lee Roth!
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: Please, please, leave me alone. I'll give you anything, anything you want, if you'll just go away. How about the just-written script of Batman IV? Fan Boy: Plucked it off the internet last night. Freakazoid: An autographed picture of Stan Lee? Fan Boy: Who's that? Freakazoid: No idea. How about your very own Harlan Ellison?
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am. I'm at your prison. Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD! FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE! Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful. [hangs up] Notify the prison authorities. I want to deal with Freakazoid personally! Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location! Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad? What's your plan? Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you're gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
	Unknown Episode: Guitierrez: [Guitierrez tries to find Freakazoid's weakness, he pulls a green rock out of his cloak] Behold, the purest Kryptonite. Are you feeling weak, my friend, oh so weak? Freakazoid: That's Superman's weakness, not mine! Guitierrez: Really? Freakazoid: Yeah, duuuuuuhhh! Guitierrez: [pulls out a yellow pad of paper, and holds it in front of Freakazoid's face] Oh, that stupid man at the store! Then how about this! Does the yellow hurt your eyes, my friend? Feeling weak, oh so very weak? Freakazoid: That's Green Lantern! Guitierrez: Oh, shoot! Guitierrez: Then how 'bout some... water in your face! Are you meling, melting, my friend? Freakazoid: That's the Wicked Witch! Guitierrez: Oh, we're wasting time. What is your weakness? Freakazoid: Well... Freakazoid: [to self] Dumb, dumb, dumb! Never tell the villian how to trap you in a cage! Guitierrez: You probably shouldn't have helped us build it, either. Freakazoid: I know. Dumb! Guitierrez: So... graphite bars charged with negative ions. That is your weakness, eh? Freakazoid: That, or poo gas. Guitierrez: You know, it's a funny thing. Nobody likes poo gas, my friend. Blagh!
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: Now, now, ladies, there's plenty of me for everybody - if not, I'll just have 'em draw me bigger.
	Unknown Episode: Hans: Now, come. We mustn't linger. It is not safe here at night. Freakazoid: It's day. Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones. Works for me!
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: Aw, nut bunnies.
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: I don't want to go down into the sewer. It smells like poo gas.
	Unknown Episode: Guitierrez: I am stronger than you, faster than you, and better than you. Freakazoid: Yes, but can you dance? Guitierrez: [does a short step dance] Yes. Freakazoid: [hushed whisper] Wow.
	Unknown Episode: Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married? Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much. Freakazoid: You can get married and still eat a lot of meat. Cosgrove: ...I didn't know that.

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