Frasier Quotes

Frasier

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 11 / Episode 24: - Goodnight, Seattle (1) Frasier: Wish me luck.
	Season 11 / Episode 24: - Goodnight, Seattle (1) Martin Crane: Hey, David, remember me? I'm your grandpa. Ronee Lawrence: Yes, and I'm your... Sorry, I just, I can't say it yet.
	Season 11 / Episode 24: - Goodnight, Seattle (1) Frasier: "It may be that the gulfs will wash us down, It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles, and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are." Frasier: Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." I've been thinking about that poem a lot lately. And I think what it says is that, while it's tempting to play it safe, the more we're willing to risk, the more alive we are. In the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took. And I hope that explains a little this journey on which I'm about to embark. I have loved every minute with my KACL family and all of you. For eleven years you have heard me say, "I'm listening." Well, you were listening too. And for that I am eternally grateful. Goodnight, Seattle.
	Season 11 / Episode 24: - Goodnight, Seattle (1) Dr. Niles Crane: [to Frasier] I'll miss the coffees
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, it's very tempting, Bebe, but I'm very happy here in Seattle. I don't want to leave. Bebe Glazer: Darling, it's San Francisco! Do you know what life is like there for a good-looking straight man? You'll be like a Snickers bar at a fat camp!
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Martin Crane: Ronee! While we're young! Ronee Lawrence: Too late!
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Dr. Frasier Crane: All right, that's it! I want you all out of here! And I do not mean a leisurely exit, I mean a break-neck, trampling-each-other, this-theatre's-on-fire stampede!
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Dr. Frasier Crane: [playing Scrabble] Because it's not a word. Charlotte: Yes, it is. Dr. Frasier Crane: No, it's not. Charlotte: Yes, it is. Dr. Frasier Crane: Use it in a sentence. Charlotte: "Her grandmother's bed was warm and... quilty." Dr. Frasier Crane: And why is she lying there? Because she's feeling all "befevered" again? Charlotte: [smiling sweetly] Could I borrow your "F"? I've got a little message for you.
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Dr. Niles Crane: Frasier...! Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles...! Dr. Frasier Crane, Dr. Niles Crane: Disaster!
	Season 11 / Episode 23: - Analyzing the Laughter Dr. Frasier Crane: [regarding Daphne's mumbling brother, Stephen] Do you have any idea what he's saying? Dr. Niles Crane: Not a word. Apparently Stephen was dropped as a child. Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I thought the mumbler was Michael. Dr. Niles Crane: He was dropped on Michael. The idea that our son might take after them is making me crazy! Dr. Frasier Crane: Now Niles, just remember, those hearty Crane genes are in there, too. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, please. Those Moon genes have probably beaten our genes up and stolen their lunch money!
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Daphne: Dr. Crane, I know what you're going to do! Niles: You do? Daphne: Not you, Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane! And you can't fire me, because I quit! Frasier: What? Daphne: After all I've done to save you money! I'm washing my face with dish soap while you're out buying imported bath salts like a big rich girl! I hope you rot in debtors' prison!
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Roz: How's your new girlfriend? Frasier: I allowed her to climb to the first base camp on Mount Crane and I believe she's feeling the effects of the altitude. Roz: Is one of them nausea? Cause I'm getting that right now.
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Frasier: Wait a minute. Is my bunting a-droop? It's supposed to drape evenly. Oh, for God's sakes. Daphne: You're not going to send me back to the Space Needle with binoculars and a walkie-talkie again, are you?
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Frasier: Niles, will you please stop being so morose? It is Thanksgiving. Niles: Oh, you're right! I should count my blessings: I'm in the midst of a bitter divorce. Maris is freezing my assets, forcing me to live in the Shangri-La, which is the devil's own apartment complex. Where, last night, they turned off my heat, re-freezing my assets.
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Roz: This sucks, I don't even have my cell phone. Don't you have your cell phone, Frasier? Frasier: Roz, I'm Uncle Sam, I don't have a cell phone. I shouldn't even have this zipper.
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Frasier: [referring to Niles's sex life] You know the "S.S. Ain't Gettin' Any"? Man overboard!
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Frasier: All I said to Maris was, "Why the long face?" Niles: Yes, and now, thanks to you, she's on the phone to her chin grinder in Zurich.
	Season 11 / Episode 22: - Crock Tales Daphne: [Speaking about sex with Niles]... and just when I thought I'd worn him out, he flips me over like a griddle cake and we were off again! I tell you he's spoiled me for any other man. Roz: Niles? Frasier's brother Niles?
	Season 11 / Episode 21: - Detour Frasier: Now, you were saying something about my dad's bachelor party? Roz: Yeah. Weren't you having a problem deciding on the entertainment? Frasier: Oh, yes. Roz: Well, there's this girl in my spin class, and she does it all - strips, lap dances, movies. Frasier: Really? Would I be familiar with her work? Roz: I don't know, have you seen "Grinding Nemo"?
	Season 11 / Episode 20: - And Frasier Makes Three Roz Doyle: Oh, hi. I was just shopping around the corner, thought I'd stop by. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, gosh, well unfortunately I have a date. Roz Doyle: That's okay, I have one myself. With Steve. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, yes, your convict friend. Do you think that's wise? Roz Doyle: The man made one mistake. Besides, I don't know any guy who's not a little fascinated by fire.
	Season 11 / Episode 19: - Miss Right Now Ronee Lawrence: [about her mother] If she sees me like dressed this, she'd know that I spent the night and then she'd be carping about it the whole weekend. Dr. Frasier Crane: What, she doesn't approve of pre-marital sex? Ronee Lawrence: Judging by the diving bell she wore as a nightgown, she wasn't real big on post-marital sex either.
	Season 11 / Episode 19: - Miss Right Now Martin Crane: Plus, I'm startin' out with one strike against me. Ronee Lawrence: Mother still remembers a night he drove me home from babysitting you and Niles, thirty years ago... Martin Crane: Forty years ago. Ronee Lawrence: I'm telling this story. I was all weepy because this guy had just dumped me, and your father put his arm around me, just to be nice. And Mom saw it and she thought he was trying to rob me of my virtue. Dr. Frasier Crane: [chuckling] Oh, that's crazy. Ronee Lawrence: I know, like there was anything left to rob.
	Season 11 / Episode 18: - Match Game Charlotte: You looked at my client log? Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, I've looked at your log, and I've dated every toad on it!
	Season 11 / Episode 18: - Match Game Charlotte: I am thirty-five years old, and I am living with my mother! How pathetic is that? Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I... I've seen worse.
	Season 11 / Episode 18: - Match Game Dr. Frasier Crane: For what it's worth, it will get easier living with her. Charlotte: Is that your professional opinion? Dr. Frasier Crane: Actually, it's a personal one. My dad lives with me. Charlotte: No. Dr. Frasier Crane: Mmm-hmm, eleven years. Charlotte: Yikes. Dr. Frasier Crane: Yeah, it does take a while to adjust to each other before you're perfectly in sync. Charlotte: How long did that take? Dr. Frasier Crane: I'll let you know.
	Season 11 / Episode 17: - Coots and Ladders Daphne Crane: Why are you all hunched over in this one? Dr. Niles Crane: Uh... Daphne Crane: You were looking at my bum, weren't you? Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, heavens, no! Daphne Crane: Oh, it's all right, Niles, we're married now. Dr. Niles Crane: All right, yes. I might, once, in a moment of weakness have permitted myself a fleeting glance. Dr. Niles Crane: Or twice. Dr. Niles Crane: Many, many times. Daphne Crane: It's all about the rear with you, isn't it? Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, no, darling... Daphne Crane: No, seriously. Daphne Crane: What color are my eyes? Dr. Niles Crane: Um... Daphne Crane: You're looking at it again, aren't you?
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Boo! (a.k.a. I'm With Her) Martin Crane: Give me a top hat and cane, and I'm Fred Astaire. Dr. Frasier Crane: Add a monocle, and he's Mr. Peanut.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Boo! (a.k.a. I'm With Her) Dr. Frasier Crane: [after Mimi screams at Jack-in-the-Box opening] Much better. You're still in the room, and you didn't throw up.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Boo! (a.k.a. I'm With Her) Dr. Niles Crane: [doorbell rings] That'll be Daphne. Martin Crane: She's not cooking, is she? I just got out of the hospital!
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Boo! (a.k.a. I'm With Her) Dr. Niles Crane: [looking at Frasier in his clown costume] Look at you. You just stand there with a smile on your face. Dr. Frasier Crane: That's make-up, you idiot!

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