Roz Doyle

Frasier

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Played by:

Peri Gilpin
Born in Waco, Texas, 'Peri Gilpin' (qv) grew up in Dallas, where her family encouraged her acting abilities. ...

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Roz Doyle Quotes

	Season 11 / Episode 20: - And Frasier Makes Three Roz Doyle: Oh, hi. I was just shopping around the corner, thought I'd stop by. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, gosh, well unfortunately I have a date. Roz Doyle: That's okay, I have one myself. With Steve. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, yes, your convict friend. Do you think that's wise? Roz Doyle: The man made one mistake. Besides, I don't know any guy who's not a little fascinated by fire.
	Season 11 / Episode 12: - Frasier-Lite Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: Hey! What'd I tell you about smoking in the booth? Roz Doyle: Oh, bite me! I need something to kill my appetite - besides your STUPID, UGLY FACE!
	Season 11 / Episode 12: - Frasier-Lite Roz Doyle: It's weird, my skin tastes kind of salty. Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: Oh, I'd say mostly sweet, but a little salty. Roz Doyle: That wasn't me, Bulldog. Gil Chesterton: That was me you licked. And if it happens again, I shall consider it strike one.
	Season 11 / Episode 1: - No Sex Please, We're Skittish Roz Doyle: I can't believe I left KACL over some stupid snit. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh yes, yes, your ultimatum. Frasier told me about that. Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier? Roz Doyle: Absolutely not. Dr. Niles Crane: You sound sure. Roz Doyle: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would have been two years ago when we slept together. Dr. Niles Crane: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... HO, BACK UP!
	Season 11 / Episode 1: - No Sex Please, We're Skittish Dr. Niles Crane: So, you're not in love. But your behavior last night clearly indicates some sort of crisis. As a psychiatrist... Roz Doyle: I just want my job back. I'm not looking for some big therapy trip. Dr. Niles Crane: All right. Well, why don't you just sweep your emotions under the rug and waltz back to the station as if nothing ever happened? Roz Doyle: That's perfect! Thanks! Dr. Niles Crane: No, no. I was being facetious. My real advice would be... Roz Doyle: I know, talk about my feelings. Blah, blah, woof, woof. I gotta go, Niles. Thanks again!
	Season 10 / Episode 10: - We Two Kings Roz Doyle: Come on, Frasier. Talk to me. Use your words Dr. Frasier Crane: It's just so egregious. Roz Doyle: Smaller words.
	Season 10 / Episode 8: - Rooms With a View (2) Roz Doyle: I'm so sorry you have to go through all this, Niles. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, I'm pretty used to him by now. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, right, the - yes.
	Season 10 / Episode 8: - Rooms With a View (2) Roz Doyle: Oh, Daphne, it's okay, it's okay; everything's gonna be fine. Dr. Frasier Crane: Daphne, I know you're in hell right now, but, in just about twenty minutes comes the disconnecting of the ventilator and the extubation. You can see it all in the diagram on page 24 - Daphne Crane: He's not a diagram! He's my husband! And he's on a table with his chest cut open! I'm sorry if I can't handle this as well as the rest of you, but I'm terrified. Roz Doyle: Daphne, it's okay; just calm down. I mean, when all this is over we're just gonna - Daphne Crane: There is no "when this is over"! There's no tomorrow, no next week, no next year - there's nothing until he comes out of there and I know he's okay!
	Season 10 / Episode 1: - The Ring Cycle Mrs. Gertrude Moon: Well, in my day, people didn't drive so recklessly. Do you know why? Alice May Doyle: Is it because you rode dinosaurs? Mrs. Gertrude Moon: [in a huff] You should talk to your daughter. Roz Doyle: When we get home... you're getting ice cream.
	Season 9 / Episode 16: - Wheels of Fortune Roz Doyle: You got a message: A "Blaine Sternin" called. Frasier: [quickly rising out of his seat] Blaine Sternin? Call him back; tell him I'm dead. Roz Doyle: Sternin... Is he related to Lilith? Frasier: Yes. He's Lilith's half-brother, the curse of the family. What does it say when Lilith is the good one? Roz Doyle: He sounded charming on the phone. Frasier: Well, of course he sounded charming. Charm is the viscous grease with which he oils his flim-flam machine.
	Season 9 / Episode 16: - Wheels of Fortune Frasier: Oh, dear God. Roz Doyle: What? Frasier: This number he left: It's local. The beast walks among us.
	Season 8 / Episode 23: - A Day in May Roz Doyle: Hey, Daphne. Daphne Moon: Hello, Roz, Alice. What brings you here? Roz Doyle: We're borrowing Frasier's car. Daphne Moon: Oh, I see. And you're leaving Alice here as collateral.
	Season 8 / Episode 23: - A Day in May Dr. Niles Crane: Hey Roz, hello Alice. What brings you here? Roz Doyle: Oh, Frasier loaned me his car, I backed mine into a telephone pole. Dr. Frasier Crane: You said you were getting a tune-up! Roz Doyle: [leaving hastily] It needs one, trust me!
	Season 8 / Episode 20: - The Wizard and Roz Roz Doyle: What are you doing? Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I was just saying how great you are. Roz Doyle: No, you're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' speech. If anyone should be giving that speech it's me, not you.
	Season 8 / Episode 19: - Daphne Returns Dr. Frasier Crane: Good for you, Roz! You know, I dabbled in juvenile fiction myself. Yes, Niles and I, when we were boys, wrote a series of stories together in which we were the heroes. Along the lines of a Hardy Boys or a Nancy Drew. Roz Doyle: The Nancy Boys? Dr. Frasier Crane: [giving her a hooded look] No.
	Season 8 / Episode 15: - Hooping Cranes Roz Doyle: Wow, Niles! You finally made varsity after thirty years, huh? Dr. Niles Crane: Yes, but it's not a real varsity jacket, Roz, so you're under no obligation to sleep with me. Roz Doyle: See you around. Dr. Niles Crane: Take care.
	Season 8 / Episode 15: - Hooping Cranes Roz Doyle: Hi, Frasier. Dr. Frasier Crane: You may join me if you wish, Roz. Be forewarned, I am feeling a bit peevish. Roz Doyle: Oh, for God's sake, you're like Goldilocks with that latte. "This foam is too hard, this foam is too soft"... Dr. Frasier Crane: No, this is not about latte foam, Roz!
	Season 8 / Episode 15: - Hooping Cranes Dr. Frasier Crane: Ever since Niles made that basket, his head's been getting bigger and bigger. Roz Doyle: Well, you have to admit it was pretty amazing. Dr. Frasier Crane: Amazingly lucky! To hear Niles tell it, it all started with a little rubber factory in Sumatra, where an unsuspecting basketball began a journey that would lead to greatness. Roz Doyle: So he's milking it a little bit, you'd do the same thing! Dr. Frasier Crane: I would not! I would treat it as the chance occurrence it was... like finding a terrific parking spot in front of the opera house. Roz Doyle: You bragged about that for weeks! Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, it was right in front of the steps, Roz!
	Season 8 / Episode 15: - Hooping Cranes Dr. Frasier Crane: And to think I was going to offer you these basketball tickets. Roz Doyle: Well, can't use 'em anyway. I have a date with this French guy. Dr. Frasier Crane: So that's it, huh? No Americans left.
	Season 8 / Episode 9: - Frasier's Edge Roz Doyle: [to Gil who has just lost an award] Come on, Gil. Isn't it enough to be enough? Gil Chesterton: You tell me, Miss Three-Time Loser.
	Season 8 / Episode 9: - Frasier's Edge Roz Doyle: [to Kenny, who has passed the presenter's role to Martin] You are such a weenie. Kenny Daly: Yeah, weenie like a fox.
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Roz Doyle: Daphne, Simon's opening your gifts. Daphne Moon: Bloody hell! Simon Moon: Roz, you little snitch! You know, I'm having serious doubts about whether you're going to be the future mother of my children. Roz Doyle: Somewhere out there, the future mother of your children just lifted her head from a puddle of drool. Simon Moon: Yeah, but I'll bet she's got a ripper body!
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Daphne Moon: So did Simon get you home all right after dropping my family at the airport? Roz Doyle: Oh, yeah. He entertained the whole neighborhood trying to parallel park the Winnebago. The highlight was when he flattened a whole row of newspaper racks. Martin Crane: How many did he get? My record's five. Daphne Moon: I suppose he followed that up with some sort of clumsy advance? Roz Doyle: Oh, he tried, but I told him to get lost. Then he hit on my babysitter! She showed him why she's the star of her JV soccer team. Daphne Moon: You know, Mum claims he was dropped as a child. I think he was thrown.
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - Something Borrowed, Someone Blue (1) Daphne: Simon! Simon Moon: Hello, sis. Daphne: I thought you were in California. Simon Moon: Yeah, well, those friends I went to surprise were out of town. So I decided to housesit for 'em, which was lovely. 'Til they came home last night. I don't know what all the screaming was about, I was the one in the tub! Where should I put this bag? Dr. Frasier Crane: By the door so you don't forget it when you leave. Simon Moon: Right. I think I know everyone here. [spots Roz] Or do I? And what would your name be then, Miss? Roz Doyle: Simon, you low-life idiot! You made a date with me last week and you stood me up! Simon Moon: Sorry, love, I need a bit more to go on. Roz Doyle: Maybe this'll refresh your memory. [slams the door in his face] Simon Moon: Roz! Of course!
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - Morning Becomes Entertainment Roz Doyle: They're taking us off the air. Dr. Frasier Crane: What, since when? Roz Doyle: Well while you were out looking for Gatorade to pour over yourself, Kenny stopped by and said we're off the air for a week.
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Something About Dr. Mary Roz Doyle: Chuck Ranberg said he'd take over for the week. Frasier: No, no, absolutely not, Roz! The man's speech impediment will make me giggle all week long. Roz Doyle: Show a little compassion! Frasier: Oh come on, you try dealing with a call screener who says, "Doctaw Cwane, we have a kweptomaniac on wine fwee." Roz Doyle: Well, who do you want to use? Frasier: Well, actually, I was thinking of reaching out to the community. You know, I was guest speaker last month at a program called "Second Start." They offer career training for people who are stuck in tedious, low-paying jobs. And, well, I'd thought I'd give the job to one of those students. Roz Doyle: That's a great idea, Frasier. Sounds like a great program. Frasier: Oh, dear, there's Chuck Ranberg. Roz, you've got to tell him he doesn't have the job. Roz Doyle: Why can't you tell him? Frasier: I'm sorry, I can't hear the man speak without just descending into giggles! Roz Doyle: Oh, you are such a child! Chuck: Hi, guys! Roz Doyle: Hey, Chuck, how's it going? Chuck: Oh, tewwible, Woz! My wife was in the Cawwibean and she weft me for a Wastafawian!
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Out With Dad Frasier: He goes too far! Roz Doyle: Yeah, some nerve, ditching you to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend. Martin: Look, Frasier, I don't blame you for being a little jealous because he's got someone and you don't... Frasier: I am not jealous, Dad! I am simply appalled by his rudeness. I was looking forward to this evening. A nice drink, lovely opera, then a late supper... perhaps a beautiful bottle of wine... a delightful dessert souffle... oh, God, I need a woman.
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Out With Dad Daphne: How was the opera? Frasier: Lovely. Get out! Roz Doyle: Hey, that movie's not over! Frasier: That's too bad, Roz. There's a stunning woman on her way over here, I don't want her thinking I'm running some kind of maudlin sorority house. Now come on, shake a leg! Roz Doyle: You actually spoke to her? You didn't wimp out? Frasier: You have never seen me so suave. Roz Doyle: Oh, some Valentine's Day! First my date bails on me and now I owe Daphne fifty bucks!
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - Rdwrer Roz Doyle: And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey! Frasier: I see. Well, allow me to congratulate you on your first science-related metaphor.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Late Dr. Crane Frasier: [reading obituary in newspaper] It's just a little upsetting. Roz Doyle: Well, I don't think they meant to be insulting. You are lovably pompous.

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