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Daphne Moon Quotes
 | Season 9 / Episode 24: - Moons Over Seattle Daphne Moon: I can't believe this is really happening. I mean, maybe I'm naive, but I always thought love would save the day. Harry Moon: Well, you know, we all think that when we're young. But then life beats us around a bit and you learn to dream a little smaller. Daphne Moon: So that's how it goes: two people meet, they're together for forty years, and then all of a sudden it just ends. Harry Moon: But it's different from you! I mean, you've found the right person. Daphne Moon: You barely know him. Harry Moon: Well, all I know is, I threw him out of my pub six times and six times he marched back in and yammered me ear off until, until I went back with him to America - all to make *you* happy! I never did anything like that for your mother. No no, I tell you, Daphne, you've got the right one there. A good one, you know? And another thing. [rubs his fingers together] He's worth a bob or two. |
 | Season 9 / Episode 16: - Wheels of Fortune Frasier: Bravo, Blaine. This is the best one yet, but you forget with whom you're dealing. I've seen it all. Daphne Moon: Dr. Crane, the man is in a wheelchair! Frasier: Which means that somewhere, someone is missing a wheelchair! |
| Season 9 / Episode 16: - Wheels of Fortune Blaine Sternin: I guess it started with my car accident. I was driving drunk, which I had done one too many times. Oh, you know, it was a sign. Daphne Moon: From God? Blaine Sternin: No, from the highway department. It said, "Lane Ends," and I just plowed right into it. The next thing I saw was a bright light and a tunnel. Daphne Moon: So, you had a near-death experience? Blaine Sternin: No, it was a CAT scan. |
| Season 9 / Episode 16: - Wheels of Fortune Daphne Moon: Well, Dr. Crane, you needn't worry about Blaine asking you for money anymore. He's received the thousand dollars he needs for Sunday. Frasier: What nitwit gave him a thousand dollars? Dr. Niles Crane: Now, Frasier, that's not fair. Perhaps whoever did it simply has a kind heart and a trusting nature that I, for one, find refreshing. Frasier: Oh, Daphne. |
 | Season 9 / Episode 13: - Mother Load (2) Daphne Moon: It was a good idea, taking Mum out today - helped take her mind off Dad. Dr. Niles Crane: Yeah, although I'm not sure the zoo was the best idea. The sight of those amorous wolverines seemed to set her back a bit. Daphne Moon: Amorous? I thought they were trying to kill each other. Dr. Niles Crane: Well, either way, it seemed to remind her of something. |
| Season 9 / Episode 13: - Mother Load (2) Daphne Moon: Still awake, Dr. Crane? Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes. It's almost dawn's early light, and our flag is still there. |
| Season 9 / Episode 13: - Mother Load (2) Daphne Moon: [to her mother] Oh, and by the way: I'm no virgin - haven't been for years. You remember that boy with the lazy eye you hated so much? Yeah, he was my first! Did it right in the parlor where you take your tea. Then, there was the German who fixed Dad's car. Oh yeah, and that Irish chap I fancied, who was twice my age and had his own van - and a band! Then I came to America. Shall I go on? Well, I am a grown woman, who's made her own life and her own decisions. Now, I plan to shack up with Niles here, and damned if we aren't gonna do it every night of the week. |
| Season 9 / Episode 13: - Mother Load (2) Daphne Moon: Oh, my God, look at me - I'm shaking! It just came gushing out. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Dr. Niles Crane: I know, it's all right, it's all right - you were great. You were great - I have never been prouder of you. Daphne Moon: I can't believe I talked to my mother that way. Dr. Niles Crane: You must have been pretty outraged to have invented all those former lovers. Daphne Moon: What? |
| Season 9 / Episode 13: - Mother Load (2) Gertrude Moon: [from the living room] I'm still waiting out here! Daphne Moon: It's coming! Pipe down! Gertrude Moon: Why? Am I interrupting your dirty sex? |
 | Season 8 / Episode 23: - A Day in May Roz Doyle: Hey, Daphne. Daphne Moon: Hello, Roz, Alice. What brings you here? Roz Doyle: We're borrowing Frasier's car. Daphne Moon: Oh, I see. And you're leaving Alice here as collateral. |
| Season 8 / Episode 23: - A Day in May Dr. Niles Crane: I'd hardly call this a dog park. It's more like a dog... orgy. Whose beagles are those? Daphne Moon: Don't stare, it only encourages them. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 20: - The Wizard and Roz Dr. Niles Crane: Uh, if you two don't mind, Daphne's psychic evaluator is on the way over and we'd like to use the living room. Martin Crane: Oh, fine by me. That stuff creeps me out anyway. Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles I still can't believe you ever agreed to this. Those tests are based on nothing more than subjective evidence and lucky guesses. Daphne Moon: Yes, nothing at all like the subjective evidence and lucky guesses psychiatry is based on. Martin Crane: [smugly] Thank you. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 13: - Sliding Frasiers Daphne Moon: [holding three shopping bags] Could you give me a hand here? Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I would, except I've sprained my shoulder. Martin Crane: [pointing at his hip] Bullet in the hip. Daphne Moon: You still have one good arm, Dr. Crane. Dr. Frasier Crane: Now, the doctor told me to take it easy. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh! I met a girl today! Daphne Moon: Yeah. So did she. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 3: - The Bad Son Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, look. Broken pieces of pottery. Daphne Moon: That's peanut brittle. I made it myself. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 2: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (2) Dr. Frasier Crane: Sure you won't change your mind? Daphne Moon: Positive. Simon Moon: Hello! We've just finished our daily constitutional, with young Edward here dropping a few amendments along the way. So what's on the docket for tonight then? Daphne Moon: All I want is a quiet evening at home. Simon Moon: Oh, Stilts, you and I are of one mind. I'll hoist a beer while you get dinner started. And then when our bellies are full and you've done the dishes, we will adjourn to the Winnebago, where Mr. Jean-Claude Van Damme, the "Muscles From Brussels" will ply his trade against the forces of evil. Dr. Frasier Crane: Ready at eight? Daphne Moon: Make it seven-thirty. |
| Season 8 / Episode 2: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (2) Daphne Moon: Explain to me again how you and Mel masquerading as husband and wife is a good thing? Dr. Niles Crane: Well... Dr. Frasier Crane: If I may? Uh, Daphne, it's basically to give Mel a little wiggle room so she can get out of this debacle with her dignity intact. Daphne Moon: [takes Niles's hand] And what about Niles' dignity? Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, Maris got that in the divorce. [laughing] Sorry, Niles. |
| Season 8 / Episode 2: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (2) Dr. Niles Crane: So where you from? Daphne Moon: Manchester, England. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, my. Big family? Daphne Moon: Hideously. And you? Dr. Niles Crane: I'm from a small mountain village in Tibet. [She laughs] Tenzing Norgay used to carry me to school. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Daphne Moon: That's stealing! These gifts are going back! Simon Moon: Never! Returning used merchandise is unethical, and I, for one, will never be party to it. |
| Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Dr. Niles Crane: What are you doing? Daphne Moon: Returning gifts. Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, right. You know, that's one thing Mel and I avoided by eloping. No gifts to return when you, uh... when... Simon Moon: When you shag someone else's wife? |
| Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Roz Doyle: Daphne, Simon's opening your gifts. Daphne Moon: Bloody hell! Simon Moon: Roz, you little snitch! You know, I'm having serious doubts about whether you're going to be the future mother of my children. Roz Doyle: Somewhere out there, the future mother of your children just lifted her head from a puddle of drool. Simon Moon: Yeah, but I'll bet she's got a ripper body! |
| Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Dr. Niles Crane: I can't believe this! Daphne Moon: Neither can I! Dr. Niles Crane: What made you change your mind? Daphne Moon: My little niece, Audrey, the flower girl. She looked up at me and said, "You're the saddest bride I've ever seen." I figured, who was I kidding if I couldn't fool a four year old with an eye patch? Dr. Niles Crane: Remind me to give her a car for her preschool graduation. |
| Season 8 / Episode 1: - And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (1) Daphne Moon: So did Simon get you home all right after dropping my family at the airport? Roz Doyle: Oh, yeah. He entertained the whole neighborhood trying to parallel park the Winnebago. The highlight was when he flattened a whole row of newspaper racks. Martin Crane: How many did he get? My record's five. Daphne Moon: I suppose he followed that up with some sort of clumsy advance? Roz Doyle: Oh, he tried, but I told him to get lost. Then he hit on my babysitter! She showed him why she's the star of her JV soccer team. Daphne Moon: You know, Mum claims he was dropped as a child. I think he was thrown. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 19: - Morning Becomes Entertainment Dr. Frasier Crane: Hey, did you happen to catch the show today? I was on fire. First caller was an agoraphobic. Dr. Frasier Crane: Boom! Knocked it right out of the park. Then, two troubled marriages and a compulsive over-eater. Boom-boom, Boom! I was a regular mental health dispensing machine. Daphne Moon: I did two loads of laundry and cut a piece of gum out of Eddie's hair. Dr. Frasier Crane: Now, Daphne, don't get down on yourself. The work you do at home is very important. In fact, I don't know what Dad and I are going to do once you're married. Daphne Moon: Thank you, Dr. Crane, that makes me feel better. Dr. Frasier Crane: Boom! Boy, there is no off-switch on this thing! Daphne Moon: Sadly, that's true. |
| Season 7 / Episode 19: - Morning Becomes Entertainment Daphne Moon: Don't worry, Dr. Crane, I'm sure you're right about these things. After all, you usually are. Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, thank you, Daphne, that's exactly what I needed to hear. Daphne Moon: Boom! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 17: - Whine Club Dr. Frasier Crane: [Frasier and Martin talk about his relation with Clare] So, you're going to see her again? Martin: Oh, I don't know, I don't think it's gonna work out. Dr. Frasier Crane: You're not still feeling guilty, are you? Martin: No, what you said made a lot of sense. It's just that I think it's run its course. Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, well, I have a theory. Martin: Geez! Dr. Frasier Crane: [Daphne enters and hears] No, no, hear me out. I think by giving you my approval to sleep with Clare I've made it less exciting for you. There was a certain illicitness to the relationship that gave it a kind of piquancy. Martin: Frasier, it's Sunday, take the day off! Daphne Moon: Wait, Mr. Crane. You slept with Mrs. Wojadubakowski? Martin: [being sarcastic] Yes, I did, isn't that adorable? Daphne Moon: No, it's disgusting, you dirty old man! Sleeping with that poor widow before her husband's even cold in the ground. Martin: You think that was wrong? Daphne Moon: You're damn right I do. You ought to be ashamed. Martin: See, I told you, Frasier. Daphne Moon: We live in a civilized society and there are certain rules we have to live by. [getting carried away and confused] We all have impulses we'd like to explore, but we don't! Dr. Frasier Crane: Daphne? Daphne Moon: Well, we can't just go chasing anyone you fancy just because you're suddenly attracted to them. There are certain things you don't do, no matter how tempted you are. [Daphne leaves to her room] Dr. Frasier Crane: Boy that was strange, wasn't it? Martin: I don't think it was strange at all! Made a lot of sense to me! [Martin gets up and gets his coat] Dr. Frasier Crane: Where the hell are you going? Martin: Well, I better get over to Clare's and apologize. Don't wait up for me Frasier, I've got a lot of apologizing to do! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 13: - They're Playing Our Song Daphne Moon: It's like Gilbert and Sullivan, only frightening. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 12: - Rdwrer Daphne Moon: This is for you, from the DMV. Martin: Oh-ho, I know what this is, the custom plates I ordered for my Winnebago! [holds them up] Yay! Well, fifty bucks, but I think it says it all. Frasier: "Erd... whirr-er"? Daphne Moon: "Rid Worry-er"? Frasier: "Red Wearer"! Martin: Oh, for God's sake! "Road Warrior!" Daphne Moon: Of course! For a retired man with a cane and a Winnebago, I don't know why my mind didn't go straight to it. |
| Season 7 / Episode 12: - Rdwrer Daphne Moon: Bloody hell! Five days after Christmas is over and I'm still getting these cards! They do it on purpose, you know. It's always from someone you forgot, and then it's too late to send one back, then they sneer at you for the rest of the year! "Peace and Goodwill," my ass! You just lost yourself a customer, Dr. Naran S. Gupta, D.D.S.! Martin: Losing a set of English teeth, he'll feel that! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 10: - Back Talk (1) Daphne Moon: [Frasier is doped up on painkillers for his back and Daphne is giving him a massage] You took quite a few of those pills, didn't you? You know what's curious, though? Frasier: Cats! Daphne Moon: Yes. But I'm talking about our little mix-up. When I said to your father, "Dr. Crane's in love with me," he said it's been going on for six years now. What did he mean by that? Frasier: Oh that... he meant Niles! Daphne Moon: [completely stunned] What? Frasier: Niles... he's crazy about you! Daphne Moon: [still stunned] Dr. Crane? [to Frasier] Dr. Crane! [Frasier has fallen asleep] |
 | Season 7 / Episode 4: - Everyone's a Critic Martin Crane: Remember last week when Eddie killed his first rat? And how proud I was? I told you that story, right? Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, Dad, you told us. If you had a guitar you would have written a ballad. Martin Crane: Well, we were just down in the basement and I saw another rat. I said, "go get him, boy!" So just as he picked him up, had him in his teeth, shaking the life out of him, and I hear this little bell, ting-a-ling. And I thought, "that's funny - rats don't wear bells!" Daphne Moon: Oh, little Robbie Greenberg's missing hamster. Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, I read that flyer. He was offering a ten dollar reward. Martin Crane: Well, the most we can claim at this point is about six-fifty. |
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