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Wilt Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Wilt

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  Played by:
Phil LaMarrPhil LaMarr
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Wilt Quotes

Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: I'm sorry, but this is NOT okay!
04x04 - Neighbor Pains Season 4 / Episode 4: - Neighbor Pains

Wilt: Just keep them occupied.
Eduardo: But how I do that?
Wilt: Make small talk.
Eduardo: Small talk. Small talk... Flies. Peanuts. Dimes. Oh, and sweaters. They get muy, muy small in the wash.
03x09 - Land of the Flea Season 3 / Episode 9: - Land of the Flea

Wilt: I'm sorry, but why would you want fleas?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Because Eduardo has them! He always gets everything cool.
03x01 - Eddie Monster Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eddie Monster

Mac: I think Whizby's a little too intense for you. Maybe we could go inside and eat some potatoes. You like potatoes, right?
Eduardo: But I could choke.
Wilt: How about we just sit around and read?
Eduardo: Paper cut!
Coco: Co co-co?
Wilt: Yeah, Eduardo. Can we stand?
Eduardo: But your feets could get tired.


Eduardo: The feets! Beware the tired feets!
03x01 - Eddie Monster Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eddie Monster

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: [disapprovingly] I don't know whose plan this was.
Wilt: It was yours.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: And it's genius.
02x12 - Bloo Done It Season 2 / Episode 12: - Bloo Done It

Uncle Pockets: [Uncle Pockets, considered to be "the best imaginary friend ever" has returned to Foster's] When I was first imagined I was happy as could be / but through the years my boy matured and he grew too old for me / without a home to call my own I wandered in the streets / until I met a sweet old Madame and she said "Come with me!" / she took me in, gave me a bed, and three square meals a day / through the years I watched Foster's grow but not long did I stay / a sweet little girl adopted me and I became her friend / but she too grew and returned me here where I was adopted again and again. [starts singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I've had kids tall, short, and hairy / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I'm agreeable to all, except dairy.
Wilt: How many kids have you had?
Uncle Pockets: More than you could count!
Eduardo: But don't you ever miss them?
Uncle Pockets: Not even a small amount!
Uncle Pockets: [singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / upon return I'm never wary / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I love everyone, except Gary! [to Gary] You know what you did! Just kidding! [he laughs]
Uncle Pockets: [continues singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I'm tops on the best friend list / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / the best friend to exist / the best friend to exist / the best friend to... E-XIST! / the best friend to exist!
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: [scowling] Pssh! Anyone can do that! [starts singing, mocking Uncle Pockets; Mac watches him] La-la-la, look at me / dancing around / my name's Bloo / I'm the best... around.
Mac: You just rhymed "around" with "around".
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: [imitating Mac] "You just wehn ah-meh neh meh-neh."
02x09 - Beat with a Schtick Season 2 / Episode 9: - Beat with a Schtick

Wilt: How's the weather up there? Well, how's the weather down *there*?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Partially cloudy, 20% chance of... This isn't helping me.
02x09 - Beat with a Schtick Season 2 / Episode 9: - Beat with a Schtick

Wilt: You're finally getting what you deserve.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: A race car bed? I'm finally getting a race car bed?
Wilt: No. You're getting your just desserts. A taste of your own medicine.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Is it bubble-gum flavored?
02x04 - Sight for Sore Eyes / Bloo's Brothers Season 2 / Episode 4: - Sight for Sore Eyes / Bloo's Brothers

Wilt: Well, if it isn't Ditchy Mcabandonpants.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Mac: Say, Wilt. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Wilt: Why?
Mac: To get to the bottom!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: No, Ed, no! Not blowing! The other way! The other way!
Eduardo: Other way?


Wilt: Yeah, yeah! That's really sucking!
Eduardo: [sighs] There's no pleasing him.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Eduardo: Donde esta el pollo loco?
Wilt: I don't know where that crazy chicken went.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: Who are you gonna call?
Coco: Co-coco!
Wilt: They've been out of business for years.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: Hey, how ya doing? Name's Wilt. [Mac and Bloo stare up at Wilt for a long time] Yo, guys! Hello? Oh, I get it. Is cool, is cool. I know I'm all broken, with the wonky eye and the stubby arm. Probably freaks you out, huh? Don't worry, I'll get someone else...
Mac, Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: You're tall!
Wilt: Oh, well, yeah.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: You should play basketball.
Wilt: Oh, well, actually I used to... sure. So, how about that tour?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: I'm sorry, but...
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: Oh guys, this is Eduardo. He's one of the nicest imaginary friends here at Foster's! He couldn't hurt a fly!
Eduardo: Oh si, I'm too scared of them anyway!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Coco: Coco?
Mac: No, thanks.
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Yes!
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Yes!
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Yes!
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Yes!
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: [shouts] Yes!
Coco: Coco?
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: [shouts] Yes! With marshmallows!
Wilt: Oh, no, Bloo. This is Coco. She wasn't asking you if you *wanted* cocoa, it's just that... well, all she ever says is "Coco."
Coco: Coco!
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Then what *was* she asking?
Wilt: [imitating Groucho Marx] You want any juice?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Mac: All right, guys! Let's bloo this!
Wilt: Aww, Man! I'm sorry, but that was not *ok*!
Eduardo: Muy stinko!
Coco: [shouts] Coco!
Terrence: Lame! That was stupider than even me!
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Yeah, Mac! C'mon! "Let's bloo this?" That was so stupid!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Wilt: [explaining an imaginary friend who looks like Mojo Jojo from "The Powerpuff Girls"] Some kids aren't that creative, so they just copy what they see on TV. What you gonna do?

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