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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Lieutenant Womack: [to Jayne] That hat makes you look like an idiot. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Jayne: [about his mother's homemade hat] How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash River Tam: My food is problematic. Jayne Cobb: Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice-planet. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Simon: This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at-at talking to girls. Zoë: Why, is there someone you *are* good at talkin' to? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Oh my God! It's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: [speaking directly to the cow fetus that is being passed off as an alien] Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Inara Serra: The Lassiter is universally known. Fencing it is like... fencing the Mona Lisa. Mal: Well - The Mona who? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Inara Serra: So, do aliens live among us? Kaylee Frye: Yeah. One of them's a doctor. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Tracey: When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl - when you can't do that... Zoë: You find someone to carry you. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Simon: And your eyes are... Kaylee: Yeah, eyes, yeah? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Mal: Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Mal: They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Kaylee: [In Chinese] Why don't you tell the cow about its beautiful eyes? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Zoë: First rule of battle, little one, don't ever let them know where you are. Mal: [comes running in shouting and shooting] Woo-hoo! I'm right here! I'm right here! You want some of this? Yeah, you do! Come on! Come on! Mal: Woo-hoo! Zoë: 'Course there are other schools of thought. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Mal: Using corpses for smuggling is a time honored repulsive custom. Jayne: Maybe it's gold. Zoë: And maybe he was a friend of ours and you need to show a little respect. Jayne: I got respect. I'm just saying... [points at body] gold! |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Simon: [to Kaylee] You manage to find the bright side of every single thing. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Kaylee Frye: [to Simon] Tell me more good stuff about me! |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Mal: You wanna explain to me exactly why you got yourself all corpsified and mailed to me? |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Tracey: Do you think I'm stupid? Mal: In every way possible. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash River Tam: [to Simon] You are such a boob. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Simon: Captain, I don't mean to [walks to Tracey with stethoscope]... We may have a medical emergency here. This man appears to be in cardiac arrest. Mal: What? Tracey, you havin' a heart attack? Don't look like he's havin' a heart attack. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Kaylee Frye: I'm glad I rated higher than dead bessie here. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash River Tam: My food is problematic. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Mal: And you never seen a man more proud of his moustache than Colonel Obrin. I mean, in all my life, I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Simon: [looking at the "alien"] Yep. It's a cow fetus. |
| Season 1 / Episode 14: - Trash Lieutenant Womack: And really, I was just bluffing with that talk about arresting you. I mean, who needs that kind of paperwork? Skunk, light him on fire. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 13: - Heart of Gold Saffron: You missed a spot. Mal: [shoves Saffron away] Can't miss a place you've never been. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Heart of Gold Mal: [closing the doors] Good day! |
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