Fawlty Towers (UK) Quotes

Fawlty Towers (UK)

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

Fawlty Towers (UK) Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: Sybil, may I introduce the gentleman who's just opened the self-service department here. Mr...? Mr. Carnegie: Carnegie. Basil Fawlty: Mr. Carnegie, the scavenger gourmet from...? Mr. Carnegie: The Public Health department.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Manuel: Mr. Fawlty, please understand. If he go, I go. Basil Fawlty: Well, goodbye.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Mr. Carnegie: Lack of proper cleaning routines, dirty and greasy filters, greasy and encrusted deep fat fryer, dirty, cracked and stained food preparation surfaces, dirty, cracked and missing wall and floor tiles, dirty, marked and stained utensils, dirty and greasy interior surfaces of the ventilator hood... Basil Fawlty: About the fat fryer... Mr. Carnegie: ...inadequate temperature control and storage of dangerous foodstuffs, storage of cooked and raw meat in same trays, storage of raw meat above confectionery with consequent dripping of meat juices onto cream products, refrigerator seals loose and cracked, ice box undefrosted, and refrigerator overstocked... Basil Fawlty: Say no more. Mr. Carnegie: ...food handling routines suspect, evidence of smoking in food preparation area, dirty and grubby food handling overalls, lack of wash hand basin which you gave us a verbal assurance you'll have installed at our last visit six months ago and two dead pigeons in the water tank. Basil Fawlty: Otherwise O.K.?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: This is not a hamster! Hamsters are cute and cuddly! Cuddle this, you'd never play the guitar again!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Sybil Fawlty: [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be best to have it put to S-L-E-E-P. Basil Fawlty: Who, him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done. Manuel: 'Spleep'?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Mr. Carnegie: I seem to have sat in some veal. Basil Fawlty: Has it put you off? Mr. Carnegie: What? Basil Fawlty: The veal. Has it put you off the veal? Mr. Carnegie: Well, I'm not having that one if that's what you mean!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Terry: How's the cat? Basil Fawlty: How's the cat? How's the Cat? We've got an inspector sniffing around, we're about to be shut down at any minute and you want to know how's the cat? It's gone to London to see the Queen!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Ronald: Don't Shush me! Basil Fawlty: Sorry, but the veal is in fact off, well it was never really on quite honestly that’s a misprint. Ronald: A misprint? Basil Fawlty: Yes, it should say um... Eel. Ronald: Eel Escalope?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Terry: All right, now how's the cat? Basil Fawlty: [excited] How's the cat? How's the cat? We're about to take the life of a public health inspector, and you want to know "how's the cat"? HE'S GONE TO LONDON TO SEE THE QUEEN! Polly: [bringing in the cat] He's fine! Basil Fawlty: [Dancing] HOORAY! HOORAY! THE CAT LIVES! [Turning to Terry and Polly, fists clenched] What are we going to DO?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Ronald: [looking up at Basil towering a foot above him] You're starting to get my dander up, you grotty little man!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Sybil Fawlty: [Sybil suggests a way to get rid of Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P. Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? I could get a discount if we get them both done. Manuel: [suspiciously] Spleep?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: Well, of course it's a rat. You have rats in Spain, don't you - or did Franco have them all shot?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: I'll put an ad in the papers: "Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent. Answers to the name of Sybil."
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more! Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Basil Fawlty: Can I help you at all Major...? Major Gowen: Don't move! Major Gowen: ...Vermin Basil Fawlty: We haven't got any this week, Major. Major Gowen: Hm? Basil Fawlty: ...No Germans.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Manuel: Major try to kill Basil! Sybil Fawlty: Tried to kill BASIL ? Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty, Basil my little... Polly: [suddenly] RATATOUILLE! Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little... what? Polly: Ratatouille; the chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil', because he puts quite a lot of basil in it. Manuel: He put Basil in Ratatouille? Polly: Yes! Manuel: ARGGGHHHHHHHH! Sybil Fawlty: [to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Polly: Basil. Basil? Cheesies! Basil... Basil Fawlty: Yes? Polly: Oh, Mr. Fawlty I... Basil Fawlty: Oh that's for me is it? Thank you. Polly: Can I get you some more? There's plenty... Basil Fawlty: He's called Basil is he? Don't play dumb with me, I trusted you. You're responsible for this!
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Anniversary Basil Fawlty: I'll ruin you... you'll never waitress in Torquay again!
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Anniversary Manuel: [helping Basil improvise an excuse for his wife's absence at their anniversary party] Is surprise party? Basil Fawlty: Yes! Manuel: She not here. Basil Fawlty: Right. Manuel: That is surprise!
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Anniversary Basil Fawlty: I'll ruin you. You'll never waitress in Torquay again.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Mrs. Chase: [Manuel is checking the window for a draft that is disturbing Mrs. Chase's dog] We have to be careful, Mr Fawlty, he's not very strong. Basil Fawlty: Indeed, yes. A rapid movement of air could damage him irreparably!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Dr. Price: I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor and I want my sausages!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Mrs. Chase: [to Manuel] What's the matter, don't you have dogs in Calcutta?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Dr. Price: [Mr. Leeman's cadaver has been put in the kitchen] You can't keep a dead body in here where there's food! Basil Fawlty: Can't we?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Dr. Price: I don't understand. He's been dead for about ten hours. Basil Fawlty: Yes, it's so final, isn't it? Sybil Fawlty: Basil! Basil Fawlty: Well wouldn't you say it was final dear? I'd say it was pretty bloody final... Dr. Price: Do you mean to tell me you didn't realize this man was dead? Basil Fawlty: People don't talk that much in the morning... Well look, I'm just delivering a tray, right? If the guest isn't singing "Oh What A Beautiful Morning," I don't immediately think, "Oh there's another snuffed it in the night." Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance. I mean this is a hotel, not the Burma Railway. I mean it does actually say "Hotel" outside, you know. Perhaps I should be more specific. What about "Hotel for people who have a better than fifty percent chance of making it through the night"?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Basil Fawlty: [to guest who has asked for breakfast in bed the next morning because he isn't feeling well] Rosewood... mahogany... teak? Mr. Leeman: Excuse me? Basil Fawlty: I was just wondering what you wanted your BREAKFAST tray made of. Mr. Leeman: It doesn't matter. Basil Fawlty: Is it your legs? Most of our guests manage to STRUGGLE DOWN for breakfast in the mornings!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Basil Fawlty: One of the guests has died. Major Gowen: Ah! Shot, was he? Basil Fawlty: No, no. During the night. Major Gowen: Oh, well. You're off your guard, you see!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Miss Abitha Tibbs: You're very cheerful this morning, Mr. Fawlty. Basil Fawlty: Yes, well, one of the guests has just died.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Dr. Price: Do you mean to tell me you didn't realize this man was dead? Basil Fawlty: [Excited] People don't talk that much in the morning! If a guest doesn't jump up singing "Oh what a beautiful morning", I don't automatically assume "Oh, there's another one snuffed it in the night"! This is a HOTEL, not a Burma Railway!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Basil Fawlty: Good night! Basil Fawlty: I said, "Good night!" Mr. Leeman: Oh, good night! Basil Fawlty: That didn't hurt, did it?

« previous12 3 4 5 6 next »

» Back to Fawlty Towers (UK) TV Show