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Manuel Quotes
 | Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Manuel: [to Sybil] Mrs. Fawlty, please understand: If he go, I go. Basil Fawlty: Well, goodbye. |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Sybil Fawlty: [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P. Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done. Manuel: 'Spleep'? |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Basil the Rat (a.k.a. Rats) Manuel: The Major try to kill Basil! Sybil Fawlty: Kill BASIL? Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty. I mean Basil, my little... Polly: [suddenly, before Manuel can say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector] RATATOUILLE! Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little... Polly: Ratatouille. The chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil' because he puts quite a lot of basil in it. Manuel: He put Basil in the ratatouille? Polly: Yes! Manuel: ARGGGHHHHHHHH! Sybil Fawlty: [charmingly to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Anniversary Manuel: [helping Basil improvise an excuse for his wife's absence at their anniversary party] Is surprise party? Basil Fawlty: Yes! Manuel: She no here. Basil Fawlty: Right. Manuel: That is surprise! |
| Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Anniversary Roger: Did you hear that? I said "Syb ill." Basil Fawlty: Yes? Roger: Wha', chu got it? Basil Fawlty: No, no, no, I'm fine. Roger: [explaining] No, no, no. Well, I call her... I call her "Syb," right? So "Syb - ill." "Bas - well." Manuel: "MAN - well!" |
 | Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Kipper and the Corpse (a.k.a. Death) Manuel: Mr. Fawlty, I no want to work here anymore. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Manuel: [after Manuel loses Basil's money by "knowing nothing"] See, I know nothing! Basil Fawlty: I'm gonna sell you to a vivisectionist! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Mrs. Richards: Are you the manager? Basil Fawlty: I am the owner, madam. Mrs. Richards: What? Basil Fawlty: I am the owner. Mrs. Richards: I want to speak to the manager. Basil Fawlty: I am the manager, too. Mrs. Richards: What? Basil Fawlty: I am the manager as well. Manuel: Manajer, he manajer. Mrs. Richards: Oh, you're Watt! Basil Fawlty: I'm the manager! Mrs. Richards: What? Basil Fawlty: I'm the manager! Mrs. Richards: Yes, I know, you've just told me. What's the matter with you? |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Mrs. Richards: [to Polly, acidly] Isn't there anyone else who could help me? Really! This is the most appalling service I've ever... Polly: What a good idea. Manuel? Could you lend Mrs. Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation? Mrs. Richards: [to Manuel] Now, I reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it. Manuel: Que? Mrs. Richards: What? Manuel: Que? Mrs. Richards: Kay? Manuel: Si. Mrs. Richards: Sea? Mrs. Richards: Kay, sea? Kay sea? What are you trying to say? Manuel: No. No, no, no. Que... what. Mrs. Richards: Kay Watt? Manuel: Si, que: what. Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt? Manuel: Yes! Mrs. Richards: Who is C. K. Watt? Manuel: Que? Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager, Mr. Watt? Manuel: Oh, manajer! Mrs. Richards: He is? Manuel: Ah, Mister Fawlty! Mrs. Richards: What? Manuel: Fawlty! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Mrs. Richards: What are you talking about, you silly little man? Mrs. Richards: [to Polly] What is going on here? I ask him for my room and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty. Manuel: No, no, no, no. FAWLTY! Mrs. Richards: He's faulty? What's wrong with him? Polly: It's all right, Mrs. Richards. He's from Barcelona. Mrs. Richards: The manager's from Barcelona? Manuel: No, no, no, he's from-a Swanage. Polly: And you're in 22. Mrs. Richards: What? Polly: You're in Room 22. Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you? |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Mrs. Richards: Now, listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here; however, I shall expect a reduction. Basil Fawlty: Why? Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment? Mrs. Richards: No, because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn't work. Basil Fawlty: No, the radio works. You don't. Mrs. Richards: What? Basil Fawlty: [crossing over to it] I'll see if I can't fix it, you scabby old bat! Basil Fawlty: I think we got something then! Mrs. Richards: What? Basil Fawlty: [loudly] I think we got something then! Mrs. Richards: [looking at Manuel with his fingers in his ears] What ARE you doing? Manuel: Que? Basil Fawlty: [after smacking Manuel's head] Madam, don't think me rude, but, may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid? Mrs. Richards: A what? Basil Fawlty: A HEARING AID! Mrs. Richards: Yes, I do have a hearing aid. Basil Fawlty: Would you like me to get it mended? Mrs. Richards: Mended? It's working perfectly all right. Basil Fawlty: No, it isn't. Mrs. Richards: I haven't got it turned on at the moment. Basil Fawlty: Why not? Mrs. Richards: The battery runs down. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Manuel: Ah, your horse. It win! It win! Basil Fawlty: [wanting him to keep quiet about his gambling venture] Shhh-shh-shh, Manuel. You - know - nothing. Manuel: You ALWAYS say, Mr. Fawlty, but I learn. Basil Fawlty: What? Manuel: I learn. I learn. Basil Fawlty: No-no-no-no-no. Manuel: I get better. Basil Fawlty: No-no. No-no, you don't understand. Manuel: I do. Basil Fawlty: No, you don't. Manuel: Hey, I do understand that! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) Basil Fawlty: Shhh-shh-shh-shh-shh. You know nothing... about... the horse. Manuel: [parroting] I know "nothing... about... the horse." Basil Fawlty: Yes. Manuel: Ah. Which horse? Basil Fawlty: What? Manuel: Which horse I know nothing? Basil Fawlty: My horse, nitwit! Manuel: Your horse - Nitwit. Basil Fawlty: No-no-no. Dragonfly. Manuel: It won! Basil Fawlty: Yes, I know! Manuel: I know it won, too! Basil Fawlty: What? Manuel: I put money on for you. You give me money; I go to betting shop. Basil Fawlty: Yes, I know, I know, I know. Manuel: Then why you say I know nothing? Basil Fawlty: [desperately] Look, look, look, you know the horse? Manuel: Uh, Nitwit or Dragonfly? Basil Fawlty: Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called Nit... YOU'RE the Nitwit! Manuel: What is Witnit? Basil Fawlty: It doesn't matter. Look, it doesn't matter. Oh, I can spend the rest of my life having this conversation. Now, please, please, try to understand before one of us dies. Manuel: I try. Basil Fawlty: You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit. Manuel: No, no. Dragonfly. Basil Fawlty: Dragonfly! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Germans Manuel: [practicing his English while cleaning behind and beneath the front desk] How are you, sir? You see, I speak English well. I learn it from a book... Hello... I am English... Helloooo... Manuel: [unseen] How are you, sir?... I can speak English. Manuel: [popping up for a moment and spotting the major] Ah, hello, Major. How are you today? Major Gowen: [Major turns to look nervously at the moose head, not spotting Manuel] Well, buh, buh, buh, I-I-I'm fine, thank you. Manuel: [back to reciting is lessons] Is a beautiful day today. Major Gowen: Is it? Oh-oh-oh, yes, yes, I suppose it is. Manuel: Yes, I can speak English... I learned it from a book. Major Gowen: Did you? Did you really? |
| Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Germans Manuel: Ohh, he hit me on the head. Major Gowen: No! You hit HIM on the head. You naughty moose! German Guest: How ever did they win? |
| Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Germans Basil Fawlty: Look, uh, go and get me a hammer. Manuel: Uh, como? Basil Fawlty: Hammer. Manuel: Hammer, oh... Oh, hamma sandwich! Basil Fawlty: Oh, do I have to go through this every time? Look, a HAMMER. Manuel: My hamster? Basil Fawlty: No, not your hamster. How could I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well... I could try, no, it doesn't... No, I'll get it. You come here and tidy. You know - tidy? Manuel: Oh, tidy. Si. Basil Fawlty: [walking away] Yes, I'll get hkhammer and hkhit you on the hkhead with it hkhard. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 5: - Gourmet Night (a.k.a. Gourmet's Paradise) Basil Fawlty: Where's Sybil? Manuel: ¿Que? Basil Fawlty: Where's Sy-bil? Manuel: Where's... the bill? Basil Fawlty: No, no, not a bill! I own the place! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Hotel Inspectors Basil Fawlty: Manuel. Manuel: Ah, si? Basil Fawlty: The bottle. Manuel: Uh... yes. Basil Fawlty: Where is it? Manuel: Qué? Basil Fawlty: Donde es... Manuel: Oh, I take it. I take it, I take it. Basil Fawlty: Come here. Manuel: Qué. Basil Fawlty: You're a waste of space. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Builders Manuel: [to the workman, two of whom are clean-shaven] Please, which one is man with beard? |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Builders Manuel: Ah... Hello, men! Lurphy - workman #1: Good day, now. Manuel: Eh, you are men! Lurphy - workman #1: You... What? Manuel: You're men! Lurphy - workman #1: Are you tryin' to be funny? Manuel: Huh? Lurphy - workman #1: I said, are you tryin' to be funny? Kerr - workman #3: Not here, sport, not here. Manuel: You are men with Orelly! Jones - workman #2: What? Manuel: You Orelly men! Lurphy - workman #1: What does that mean? Manuel: You Orelly! Lurphy - workman #1: [angry] You watch it! Manuel: Where Orelly? Jones - workman #2: What's he goin' on about? Kerr - workman #3: He means O'Reilly. Lurphy - workman #1: Wha...! Oh, yes! Dat's right, yeah. We are "Orelly men." Lurphy - workman #1: [to the other workmen under his breath] Thick as a plank. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Builders Manuel: [to garden gnome] No room 16. No room 16. No, no pay, no Room 16! |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Builders Basil Fawlty: Now while we're away - gone - clean the windows. Basil Fawlty: Oh, look... Cuando nosotoros somos... away. What's "away" in Spanish? Manuel: Eh...? Basil Fawlty: You know, away, AWAY! Manuel: Oh, si si! Basil Fawlty: [grabbing Manuel before he scurries away] No, not you! While we're away, CLEAN the windows! Manuel: Green? Basil Fawlty: No, no, look. Clean... Basil Fawlty: ...the windows! Clean... Manuel: [still not comprehending but parroting Basil]... clean... clean... Basil Fawlty: ...the windows. Manuel: AHH! Major Gowen: [as the two pass] Morning, Fawlty! Basil Fawlty: [carrying Manuel] Morning Major! Major Gowen: [setting Manuel down and forcing him to clean the windows] The windows, see? Look. Clean the windows! Manuel: [finally getting it] Si! Comprendo, comprendo. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - A Touch of Class Basil Fawlty: [seeing Manual with three trays] Manuel. Manuel: ¿Si? Basil Fawlty: [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays. Manuel: ¿Que? Basil Fawlty: There is too much butter... on... those... trays. Manuel: No. No, no, senor. Not... not "on... those... trays"... No, sir. Manuel: [counting the trays instructively] "Uno, dos, tres". |
 | Unknown Episode: Basil Fawlty: Where's Sybil? Manuel: ¿Que? Basil Fawlty: Where's Sybil? Manuel: Where's... the bill? Basil Fawlty: No, not a bill! I own the place! |
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