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Characters: #3 of 8 (Full List)
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 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - What's Black and White and Depressed All Over? Kate: We're hoping there's going to be some real chemistry between them. Sarmoti: Chemistry? What chemistry? "You're a panda, I'm a panda [pelvic thrusts] oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee, thanks for the ride, tell your friends!" |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: [to Nelson] We all know Foo-Lin is crazy, but who gives a crap? She's a panda, you're a panda. This is the biggest no-brainer in the world. |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: [to Nelson] You're new with women and you're swinging for the fences. Let me save you a lot of heartache: You're not a powerhitter. Just lay down a bunt, get on base and thank the merciful Lord they even let you suit up. |
| Unknown Episode: Foo-Lin: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I could do better? Sarmoti: No. That did not occur to me. Good Lord! Your whole species is meshuggah. No wonder you're going extinct. Foo-Lin: I deserve love! Sarmoti: Wrong! You're a middle aged, fat, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson. |
| Unknown Episode: Larry: [while watching a video tape of the Today show] Holy cow! Who's that? Sarmoti: Blake as a baby. Later in the show he gets felt up by Elton John. |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: [talking about the Today show] Katie Couric has got that "good girl but probably wild in the sack" thing going on. Larry: Brother, you got that right! |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: As a lion you got it here Sarmoti: and in here. Larry: [giggling] That tickles. Sarmoti: You sure you're all lion? Maybe a chimp schtooped your gradma. |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: Larry, I want you to know, if you were my own son... I'd be pretty disapointed. But I'd make do. |
| Unknown Episode: Kate: [off screen] Larry, oh my God, get in here. Larry: [startled awake from sleep] Kinda busy hon. I'm working on the [mumbles and drifts off to sleep] Sarmoti: Boy, did my daughter hit the jackpot with you. |
| Unknown Episode: Kate: [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it] Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room. Kate: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is. Larry: [sniffs bag] Yep, that's catnip. Kate: Oh God, our daughter's a niphead. Sarmoti: Nice. You run a tight ship champ. Kate: This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude. Larry: Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment. Sarmoti: "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant. |
| Unknown Episode: Foo-Lin: Kate, can I sleep over? I don't want to be alone tonight. Or ever. Oh God! What's wrong with me? Sarmoti: I'll tell you what's wrong with you: Your ovaries are turning into concrete. Go home. Get out of here! Foo-Lin: [laughing] Oh Sarmoti, you always know how to make me laugh. |
| Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: Hey, here comes that Debra chick. Bernie: I hear she is wild! Larry: The elephant? You're into that? Bernie: C'mon, you never had the "Pinned in the Lake" fantasy? You know, I'm just sitting here at the water's edge. Whoops! I slipped. Or did I? |
| Previous: Kate | Next: Roy |
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