Larry

Father of the Pride

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Played by:

John Goodman

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Larry Quotes

	Unknown Episode: Larry: [to Kate] Big daddy is home and he's ready for lovin'. It may be 9 o' clock in New York, but right here it's Mountin' Time!
	Unknown Episode: Kate: Larry, this isn't really the time. Larry: This is the perfect time: You're in heat, I'm not hungry, I just peed...
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [to Kate] Just know that if Foo-lin is on our couch tomorrow I'm buying a gun on the internet and hiring someone with fingers to shoot me.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: So you're from Beijing? Must have some geat Chinese food there. Nelson 'Bong-Bong': Ehh... it's not as good as New York.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: Foo-Lin, I'd like to introduce you to Nelson. Nelson, this is Foo-Lin. Foo-Lin: Hey Nelson. Nelson 'Bong-Bong': If you smell something it's not me! It's not!
	Unknown Episode: Larry: We need to talk about you and Kate. Nelson 'Bong-Bong': It sickens me that she's laying beneath you. That's how it works right? I mean, I might need to know for later.
	Unknown Episode: Nelson 'Bong-Bong': I love Kate, Larry. I can't help it. She's my perfect woman. Larry: No, she isn't. You have a crush on her because she's the first woman that was ever nice to you. Nelson 'Bong-Bong': My mom was nice to me. Larry: Nelson, I know you don't have a lot of experience, but as a dude, we don't really count moms.
	Unknown Episode: Sierra: I'm on my way to a party by the reptile house. I probably won't take drugs, but I won't really know until I get there. Larry: That's fine. See you later.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [to Kate] Your dad's a real treat. He should go make people laugh in heaven.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [to Kate] I'm not the kind of guy who goes on TV. I'm the kind of guy who lies in front of the TV. And I'm just sort of hitting my stride with that.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: [Blake and Victoria have made a surprise visit] Blake! Victoria! What a nice surprise. Larry: Yeah, like when the gas wears off early and your dentist is buckling his pants.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [while watching a video tape of the Today show] Holy cow! Who's that? Sarmoti: Blake as a baby. Later in the show he gets felt up by Elton John.
	Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: [talking about the Today show] Katie Couric has got that "good girl but probably wild in the sack" thing going on. Larry: Brother, you got that right!
	Unknown Episode: Sarmoti: As a lion you got it here Sarmoti: and in here. Larry: [giggling] That tickles. Sarmoti: You sure you're all lion? Maybe a chimp schtooped your gradma.
	Unknown Episode: Blake: Larry, I'm weak. I need the attention. I'm a whore. I'm a whore for their applause. And you wouldn't hit a whore would you, Larry? Larry: [starts to punch Blake] Blake: Ow! Mommy! Make it stop!
	Unknown Episode: Snack: [drinking at a bar and drunkenly slurring words] Hey! None of that talk. You're still the best. Remember I'm always here for you Lar. Now come on, give me a smile. [strokes Larry's chin] Cootchie, cootchie coo... [vomits in Larry's lap] Larry: Dude, uncool.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: [after watching an assembly for a "gifted and talented" program] Thank you Mrs. Falvi for a delightful evening of discussion and song. My husband and I had a great time. Didn't we Larry? Larry: Oh yeah. You guys sure beat the hell out of Dumb Kids Choir.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: I'd love that program for Sierra. Those kids seemed really neat. Larry: Uh huh. What's wrong with you?
	Unknown Episode: Sierra: [opens locked front door] You guys are back early. Kate: Why was the door locked? Sierra: I don't know. The better question is: Why do we live in a world where the doors need locks? Larry: I think she's got us there.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: [off screen] Larry, oh my God, get in here. Larry: [startled awake from sleep] Kinda busy hon. I'm working on the [mumbles and drifts off to sleep] Sarmoti: Boy, did my daughter hit the jackpot with you.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it] Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room. Kate: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is. Larry: [sniffs bag] Yep, that's catnip. Kate: Oh God, our daughter's a niphead. Sarmoti: Nice. You run a tight ship champ. Kate: This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude. Larry: Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment. Sarmoti: "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: When I was a teenager I never tried catnip. Did you? Larry: Me? Catnip? Never. Snack: [drops into room] Hey kitty cats. What's happening? Larry: [hands plastic bag to Snack] We just found this in Sierra's room. Snack: Ahhhh- hah ha! This must take you back Lar. Always had the good stuff, huh buddy? Larry: [waving hands and shaking head in "no don't" gesture] Snack: Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies. Larry: [slaps forehead in frustration] Snack: Some say they were only there for the 'nip. But hey, at least they were there. Does this ring any bells? [starts to spin on his head] Whoooooooooooooo! Larry: [stops Snack's spinning with his hand] Larry: [to Kate] Heh. He's not doing it right.
	Unknown Episode: Chutney the Elephant: It's good you came to see my about your daughter. I've seen it all in my long life: Ravi Sahnkar, The Beatles... that whole crazy scene. Fact: I am Lucy, from "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". You don't know this because that damn McCartney wants credit for everything. Larry: You're Lucy? But you're a guy. Chutney the Elephant: It was a weird time for all of us.
	Unknown Episode: Sierra: [notices a plastic bag that has been thrown on the table by her parents] What's that? Kate: Don't get cute. This isn't a game Sierra. It's catnip. [reads from a book] Or as you and your friends might call it: Mulch, snorkel, monkey junk, street cheese or Siamese cole slaw. Sierra: What? You think that's mine? Larry: We found it in your room. Sierra: Oh my God. You searched my room. What happened to privacy? Sierra: We saw a movie about a lion that drove a truck! We're not going to let that happen to you. Sierra: Well it's not mine! Kate: Then who's is it? Sierra: I don't know. Maybe one of my friends put it there. Or maybe it's Siegfried and Roy's. I mean that would definetly explain the outfits. Kate: Uh-huh. We're supposed to believe that. Sierra: Yeah, because it's the truth. [pauses as she looks at her parents] I don't believe it. You don't trust me. Kate: No, we don't trust you. For all we know you're high on the... [glances at book again]... Friedman right this minute. Larry: [glances over at book in Kate's hands] Honey, that's the doctor who did the study.
	Unknown Episode: Sierra: You guys are insane. Larry: No! We're a new generation of parents. We had a lot of fun, so now you don't have to.
	Unknown Episode: Sierra: Well congratulations! I didn't want to do drugs before, but now maybe I will. Larry: You're grounded. Sierra: You are the worst parents EVER! Larry: We are not. My parents were!
	Unknown Episode: Larry: Hunter, what are you doing in Sierra's bed? Hunter: She said if I didn't pretend to be her she'd kill Santa. Larry: Don't worry buddy, there's no Santa. Hunter: W-w-what?
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [after Hunter refuses to state where his sister is at] So you want to play hardball? Well what's this? [picks up a spray bottle] Oh water! As I recall little kitty cats don't like water. Hunter: I don't know where she is! Larry: I've cracked harder nuts than you mister. [squirts water in his own face] Ow! I'm hit! Oh! [fall on his back to the floor] Officer down!
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [over PA system at the Rave] If any of you touch my daughter, I'll pull out your intestines and eat them while you watch.
	Unknown Episode: Larry: [Over PA at the Rave] Excuse me, I'm looking for my daughter. Do any of you go to school with my daughter? Raver #1: No. Larry: Sweetheart, it's ok. We love you. Flamingo Raver: [rushes from offscreen] I love you too daddy! [lands in Larry's arms] I don't want to live with mom anymore! [starts bawling loudly] Larry: Um... ok. [moves the flamingo over to a speaker] Flamingo Raver: [embraces speaker] I love you speaker! [continues bawling]

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