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Played by:
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Character Bio
He is a cop. his friends are Perter Griffin, Glen Quagmire, and Cleveland Brown.
Episode Screenshots
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Joe Swanson Quotes
![]() | Season 8 / Episode 12: - Extra Large Medium Peter Griffin: I shall now channel the ghost of Lou Costello, who will guide us to this soul in distress. Peter Griffin: Hi everybody it's me Lou Costello! Alright, what's the name of the guy we're looking for? Joe Swanson: Well, he's an Asian fellow, Melvin Hu. Peter Griffin: That's what I want to find out. Joe Swanson: What? Peter Griffin: The name of the guy. Joe Swanson: Melvin Hu. Peter Griffin: Are you a cop? Joe Swanson: Yeah. Peter Griffin: You handling this case? Joe Swanson: Yeah. Peter Griffin: Then what's the name of the guy? Joe Swanson: Hu! Peter Griffin: The guy we're looking for. Joe Swanson: Hu! Peter Griffin: The guy who's buried. Joe Swanson: Hu! Peter Griffin: The guy with the bomb. Joe Swanson: Hu! Peter Griffin: What street does he live on? Joe Swanson: First. Peter Griffin: [Explosion in the background. Melvin Hu's severed leg and rubble fall in front of Joe and Peter] Yeah, I'm not psychic. |
![]() | Season 8 / Episode 12: - Extra Large Medium Joe Swanson: All right, Peter, we know the victim is somewhere in this area. We don't have much time before the bomb... Peter Griffin: [shushes Joe] Okay, Joe, when I'm tracking someone, it often helps to touch something that belongs to the victim. Does he have a wife? Joe Swanson: Uh, yeah. Peter Griffin: Yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. [She walks away] It's still very fuzzy. Does he have a daughter? [the daughter, a fat, unattractive teenager walks up] Yeah, I see. Does he have maybe, like a thinner, hotter daughter? Joe Swanson: Well, yes, but she's only twelve. Peter Griffin: Okay. Like a young twelve or, like a "she eats a lot of milk products so she got her boobs early" twelve? Which is a real thing, by the way. |
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