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 | Season 2 / Episode 17: - The Ride-Along Marie Barone: That's it! No more tag-arounds! Robert Barone: It's a ride along, Ma. |
| Season 2 / Episode 17: - The Ride-Along Robert Barone: [on the radio] Open warehouse door check out okay. We'll do another check in a while and if need be call in the bow-wow. Robert Barone: [to Ray] That's a police dog. Ray Barone: A bow-wow's a police dog? How do you crack that code? |
| Season 2 / Episode 17: - The Ride-Along Ray Barone: Maybe later we can climb a tree and save a meow-meow. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Checkbook Debra Barone: Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats, you don't stop to yell at the iceberg. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 15: - Marie's Meatballs Debra Barone: All I'm saying is that given everything I do around here, why do I care so much that I can't make meatballs for my husband as good as his mother? Ray Barone: Because you're a good wife. Debra Barone: Don't you ever, ever call me that again. |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - Marie's Meatballs Ray Barone: Let me ask you something. How do you make those meatballs? Marie Barone: What do you mean? Ray Barone: I mean, you know, I know there's meat and there's balling but what do you put in it? Is there like a recipe or something? Marie Barone: I stopped using a recipe years ago. I cook from here. Frank Barone: And you nag from here. |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - Marie's Meatballs Marie Barone: Oh, Frank. What are you doing putting back an empty thing? Frank Barone: That's not empty. There's some left there. Marie Barone: Two drops? Who's going to drink two drops of juice? Frank Barone: I am! Marie Barone: All right. Let me pour you a nice glass of juice. Marie Barone: Say when. Frank Barone: Right there's perfect! Frank Barone: Ah! That was good. I think I'll save the rest for later. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 13: - All I Want for Christmas Raymond "Ray" Barone: I can't believe you shot me, Robert!! Frank Barone: Stop it! You're ruinin' it!! Raymond "Ray" Barone: I gotta lie here all afternoon? Robert Barone: It's gotta be authentic!! Raymond "Ray" Barone: What authentic? Stone-Wall Jackson's wearing a beeper. Robert Barone: His wife's pregnant! |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - All I Want for Christmas Harry: Wow, Mrs. Barone, you're a sight for sore eyes. Frank Barone: And mine are pretty sore. |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - All I Want for Christmas Debra Barone: What am I going to tell Tom and Maryann? Raymond "Ray" Barone: Frankly my dear... I don't give a damn. Debra Barone: Idiot. |
| Season 2 / Episode 12: - Civil War Ally Barone: Daddy, what's an appointment? Raymond "Ray" Barone: Well honey, an appointment is when two people decide to meet. Debra Barone: Like going to the dentist. Ally Barone: Oh. Raymond "Ray" Barone: So, sleeping with me is like going to the dentist? Debra Barone: Well, we both say the same things. "Sit back, relax, you won't feel a thing". |
| Season 2 / Episode 12: - Civil War Ray Barone: [to Robert, after he accidentally tore off the top of his Christmas tree] You just hate anything bigger than you, don't you? |
 | Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Debra Barone: Um did you guys get the... Robert Barone: Mail? Oh yeah. Debra Barone: Ray did everybody read that? Frank Barone: You're my favorite writer! |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Debra Barone: Marie I think you misunderstood the purpose of that letter. Marie Barone: I think I understood it very well. According to you I'm intrusive, critical Frank Barone: Overbearing |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Frank Barone: Is this a petition? Where do I sign? |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Ray Barone: [He enters the house and sees Helen setting up for the party] Am I in the right house? Cause I have these dreams sometimes. Helen: I'm Helen from tupperware Ray Barone: Yep. That's one of 'em |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Debra Barone: [after everyone leaves her party early] This is not what I wanted! Marie Barone: Of course it isn't dear. Nobody *wants* to throw a bad party. |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Frank Barone: It's a whole bag of nighties... Debra Barone: No, Frank that's... It's for a game. Frank Barone: I'm in! |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Letter Helen: Ok, for more free tupperware, it's time to play, "Guess Who's Nightie?" Did everybody put their nightie in the bag? Debra Barone: Yes, Ma'am. Amy MacDougall: Yes. Marie Barone: No. I didn't bring one. I wasn't told about the party. Helen: Well, why don't you pick first? Marie Barone: Ok. Gayle: I guess Amy. Debra Barone: Yes! Marie Barone: Amy? No. Amy MacDougall: Well, I never wear it. Amy MacDougall: Actually, I bought it special for this game. Really. Robert's never seen it! |
 | Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Ray Barone: When I dance, people think I'm looking for my keys. |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Debra Barone: Ray, the kids have to be picked up soon. Can you go get them? Ray Barone: I just sat down. Debra Barone: What are you, 80? Ray Barone: What are you doing? Debra Barone: I'm sorting the catalogs. Ray Barone: Oh, God's work. Debra Barone: Come on, one of us has to go. Ray Barone: You go. Debra Barone: I *always* go, Ray. Marie Barone: Watch your step, Frank. Ray Barone: All right, I'll go. Debra Barone: No, I'll go. |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Warren: Scott cried during the SATs when he skipped a question by mistake and all his answers were off by one. Ray Barone: Yeah. Scott Preman: That wasn't funny, okay? I had to go to community college. |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Marie Barone: I need your counter space. I accidentally doubled my cookie recipe. Ray Barone: What's that, 5,000 cookies? |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Debra Barone: Oh look, "The Eagles Return To The Nest" Ray Barone: Yeah, we were the eagles. Now where are the bald eagles? |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Ray Barone: [to Debra] That guy's got hair. You promised me bald people! |
| Season 2 / Episode 10: - High School Robert Barone: [about Ray's hair] He uses conditioner doesn't he? Then he tops it off with the volumizer? |
 | Season 2 / Episode 9: - The Gift Raymond: You don't get it. It's not that I don't have to worry for a year, it's that I have a YEAR to WORRY! |
| Season 2 / Episode 9: - The Gift Robert Barone: Well Dad at least you still have the good old remote boat. Where is it? Frank Barone: I needed a coffin for Stan. Robert Barone: You buried Stan in the remote boat? Frank Barone: Ally wanted to have a ceremony. You don't just flush a forty dollar fish down the toilet. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Working Late Again Debra Barone: You know, your mother was right! Raymond "Ray" Barone: Oh, that's crazy talk. |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Working Late Again Robert Barone: I could of been a pretty good hockey player. I was big, I had the toughness, good hand-eye coordination. Ray Barone: Yeah, but eventually you would've had to let go of the side. |
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