Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
 | Season 4 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates Lasagna Ms. Morello: [while trying to a escape a 'fire'] Chris, You might be black, but you're not fireproof. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Ms. Morello: If you think white people are smart wait until you get to class with the asians |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Narrator: At Hansel and Gretel, my mother laid down the law like the Big Bad Wolf. |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Ms. Morello: You're like a chocolate Einstein. Chris Rock: More like a chocolate Pinocchio |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Judge Harry Watkins: Lady, you're out of order! Rochelle Rock: You're out of order! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Rochelle Rock: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! |
| Season 4 / Episode 14: - Everybody Hates PSATs Ms. Morello: If You think white people are smart wait until you get to class with the Asians |
 | Season 3 / Episode 13: - Everybody Hates the First Kiss Lance: [Lance has just told that he bought the neighborhood laundromat] Next time you come down, I'll give you a few free loads. [pause] Also, here are some coupons for a new dry cleaners I'm opening. |
| Season 3 / Episode 13: - Everybody Hates the First Kiss Narrator: [Lisa has just been strangling young Chris with a hose but also invited him to spin the bottle at her house] Ever since that day, I've always loved hos [e] . |
 | Season 3 / Episode 4: - Everybody Hates Blackie Detective Marino: Lady, my shift ends in six minutes. Fill out this report. Rochelle Rock: And that's it? Detective Marino: That's it. Rochelle Rock: So you're not gonna help us out at all? Detective Marino: No, but we're here to comfort you. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates Chain Snatching Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] Oh man, don't you know that if you ever see a crime being committed in New York, you don't say anything? I don't care if Ronald Reagan is about to shoot the pope, you say nothing! Narrator: Greg was a big fan of editorial cartoons. |
| Season 2 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates Chain Snatching Rochelle: [to Julius] What else have you been hiding from me? Is Julius even your real name? Are you the Green River Killer? Where's Jimmy Hoffa? Who shot Kennedy? For all I know, you could be Batman! |
| Season 2 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates Chain Snatching Narrator: Drew didn't know what it was like to lose but he hated the way it was looking on Tonya. |
| Season 2 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates Chain Snatching Rochelle: What did you buy that was so important that I had to find out 15 years later? Julius: Your wedding ring. [Rochelle doesn't talk] Narrator: For the first time in 15 years, my father got my mother to shut up. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 8: - Everybody Hates Thanksgiving Mr. Harris: [it is thanksgiving and Chris is looking for mac and cheese] Macaroni and cheese on Thanksgiving? That's like looking for candles on Hannukah. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Everybody Hates Malvo Chris Rock: [after Malvo has been caught by the police, for stealing from Chris] Hey, you didn't even have a real gun! Malvo: It's hard to rob a gun store, man, they've got guns. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Everybody Hates Elections Julius Rock: You lost ten dollars? That's ten dollars worth of dollars! |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Everybody Hates Elections Chris: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, don't vote for him, vote for me. Greg Wuliger: Come on, man, this is serious. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Everybody Hates Elections Chris: I am not a crook. Greg Wuliger: Now you're just making stuff up. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Everybody Hates Elections Chris: Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation always! Greg Wuliger: Are you trying to get us killed? |
 | Season 1 / Episode 22: - Everybody Hates Father's Day Himself - Narrator: I wonder if it would ruin our friendship if I smacked his eyebrows off. |
| Season 1 / Episode 22: - Everybody Hates Father's Day Drew: [looking at an abstract painting] It looks like someone got shot and fell into a bucket of mustard. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 20: - Everybody Hates Playboy Julius Rock: [after telling Drew off for scaring Tonya into wetting her bed and forcing him to remove his monster makeup] You got that? And If I ever catch you scaring your sister and wearing lipstick again, We're gonna have a problem! You hear me? |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Everybody Hates Playboy Narrator: [Chris charges boys a dollar to look at the Playboy magazine] Who knew you could make money off of pictures of naked women? |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Everybody Hates Playboy Narrator: My father knew if my mother had found the Playboy, she could use it against him. [cut to Rochelle wearing a fur coat, Julius comes in] Julius Rock: Rochelle, why did you spend so much money on a fur coat? Rochelle: [Tosses the Playboy on the table] Miss June has one! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 18: - Everybody Hates Corleone Joey Caruso: Silly negro. |
| Season 1 / Episode 18: - Everybody Hates Corleone Julius Rock: That's the smell of a working man! Rochelle Rock: No. That's the smell of AQUAMAN. |
| Season 1 / Episode 18: - Everybody Hates Corleone Narrator: [after Chris' scheme of pulling the fire alarm to get himself expelled only serves to alert the Chemistry teacher] Come Hell or Highwater, I was getting kicked out of school. Chemistry Teacher: Thank You! Thank You! [hugs Chris] Another 30 seconds in there, We would've been blacker than you! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 17: - Everybody Hates Funerals Thug #2: Hey little dood from across the street, here you go man. [hands him some money] Chris Rock: What's this? Thug #2: I robbed your grandfather a few times, I ain't know you knew him! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 16: - Everybody Hates the Gout Julius: That's a two dollar pair of underwear you're messing in! |
» Back to Everybody Hates Chris Wiki
