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 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question. Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer! |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Ari Gold: I gotta know what you think, so I can get you to think what I think. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Ari Gold: They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch? |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Turtle: Check out the tits on the girl from "Extra". |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Turtle: [about Kristen] She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn's pants. Eric: She had her hand down his pants? Johnny Drama: Both of 'em. Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker? Johnny Drama: No bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' real good. Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not "Old School" Vince Vaughn. It's kinda like New School Vince Vaughn. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Jane: Look, it's not like I don't think you're cute, but I'm just still hoping I'm going to be the one that fucks Vince. Turtle: Sweetheart, look around. Vince is gone. So's your sister and your best friend. Come on, just make out with me, I'll show you where Vince eats breakfast. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Vincent Chase: That's what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny? Johnny "Drama" Chase: [not listening] What? |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Entourage Ari Gold: It's Die Hard at Disneyland, what's not to love? |
 | Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: Let's hug it out, bitch. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: Call me Helen Keller because I'm a fucking miracle worker! |
| Unknown Episode: Vince: [talking to Eric at a Hollywood party] Look at where we are. Did you ever think we'd have this? |
| Unknown Episode: Justine Chapin: [Justine and Vince are flirting in a club] You're gonna have to work for it. Vince: I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: I thought you already were his manager, because believe me, I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't. Eric: Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in. Ari Gold: So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna fucking cry. All right, here's what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them. Eric: He doesn't need me that much. Ari Gold: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point. Eric: Then what is the point, Ari? Ari Gold: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty, baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful and wear the crown. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, *everything* into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a fucking spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey! |
| Unknown Episode: Adam Davies: You should be a nicer person. Maybe then people wouldn't fuck you. Ari Gold: You talked, Davies? Ari Gold: Hey, Adam. Adam Davies: Yeah, Ari? Ari Gold: Just so you know, your girlfriend, when she was in the mailroom, offered to blow me. True story. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: [Ari doesn't want Vince to do Queens Blvd] You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don't give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box? Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could. Vince: I do have great balance. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: [leaves his office] Where am I going? Emily: Ari, you're twenty minutes late already. Ari, I need to talk to you about something. Ari Gold: Walk with me. Emily: [starts walking] Vince and the guys are going to a party at Josh Weinstein's. Ari Gold: Who's Josh Weinstein? Emily: Are you joking? He's your old assistant. Ari Gold: I have *many* old assistants. Emily: All right, two before me. Before Jackie, after Jerod. Ari Gold: Ah-ha, my "J" phase. I think I fired him for stealing pens. Why do I care about Josh? Emily: Well, now he's an agent at Triad. And he's the one who gave the boys Queens Boulevard. Ari Gold: That's why no more guys! You fire a guy, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife. Emily: That's sweet. You're still late. Ari Gold: Hold all my calls. And get Mini-Vince on the phone. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: From now on, ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants. Eric: How'd you know that? Ari Gold: 'Cause I know all, and I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta fire her so you don't feel weird. Eric: No. Don't fire her. Ari Gold: All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits. |
| Unknown Episode: Johnny Drama: I've been working steady for the past twelve years, minus the last three. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari's Wife: Where are you going? Ari Gold: They flew in the liver, and I gotta do the transplant. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: The next one after "Queens Boulevard" is a studio picture: I'm talking franchise, baby. We'll get you the lunchbox. And an action figure with a monster cock. Vincent Chase: It's definitely tempting. Ari Gold: I love you! |
| Unknown Episode: Vincent Chase: It's not about the awards. If it's good, I'll do it. |
| Unknown Episode: Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar. Turtle: You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys. |
| Unknown Episode: Turtle: Don't talk to us like we're adopted, bro. |
| Unknown Episode: Turtle: [looking towards the Pacific Ocean] What direction is that? Johnny Drama: That's east, you idiot. Eric: It's west, idiot. Johnny Drama: Well... I mean, in NY it's east. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: [after his Viagra has kicked in, to his angry wife] I'm ready to go here, all right? It's like R. Kelly at recess. Honey, honey, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? Baby! |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: [to his wife] You can have it if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday! |
| Unknown Episode: Johnny Drama: [at the home of a Hollywood "madam" and her girls] Turtle, if you can't get laid here, turn your dick in. |
| Unknown Episode: Ari Gold: Where the fuck is Peter Cole's office? Right here? Ari Gold: James Cameron is directing "Aquaman"? Surprised Kid: That's great! That's awesome! Ari Gold: That's "awesome," huh? You didn't think to bring it up in the fucking staff meeting? An e-mail? A yellow fucking sticky-something? Surprised Kid: I... I didn't know I was supposed to know that kind of stuff. Ari Gold: Well, what is it you're supposed to know, do you think? What the fuck do we pay you for? To get your agency card laminated so you can go to Shelter and try to fuck Mischa Barton? Surprised Kid: I didn't... I didn't think... Ari Gold: Let me tell you something. You don't have to say anything, you know why? Cause you pick up all your stuff, because you're mother-fucking fired! CAA Assistant: What happened? Surprised Kid: I don't know. I came in to drop off Peter's mail and Mr. Gold fired me. My life is over! |
| Unknown Episode: Eric: We gotta get Cameron to see "Queens Boulevard." Ari Gold: You haven't even seen it yet! Eric: I saw the scenes that Vince looped today. They looked amazing. Ari Gold: Great. So you want me to get the biggest director in the game to see some low-budget indie flick that you think is amazing based on some out-of-context scenes from a looping stage. |
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