Doug Quotes

Doug

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 4 / Episode 10: - Doug Throws a Party / Doug Way Out West Larry the A.V. Nerd: Uh...Skeeter, I dare you to...stand on your head, in front of everyone. Roger Klotz: In his underwear. Go on and say it - in his underwear! [the scene cuts to Skeeter standing on his head in his white briefs, while Roger and his friends look on laughing.]
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - Doug's in the Money / Doug's Sister Act Mr. Funnie: [reading ahead] Oh! My writer's block! Judith 'Judy' Anastasia Funnie: [yelling, angrily] STOP! STOP! STOP! Your reading ahead in the script Dad!
	Season 4 / Episode 3: - Doug Door to Door / Doug Tips The Scale Connie Benge: Dark clothes. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: What? Larry the A.V. Nerd: And vertical stripes hide it easier. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: Hide what? [grabs stomach] My fat? Connie Benge: Oh, we're not fat, Doug. [flexes] I'm big boned. Larry the A.V. Nerd: And-and-and I'm stout. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: Well, what am I? Larry the A.V. Nerd, Connie Benge: Husky.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - Doug's Bum Rap / Doug & Patti Sittin' in a Tree Doug: Judy, you've got a date with Cassius tonight, right? Judy: A date? Mom and Dad dated, Dougie. Dating went out with bell bottoms. Doug: But you're wearing bell bottoms. Judy: Don't get smart.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - Doug's Math Problem / Doug's Big Feat Theda Funnie: We've been asked to attend a parent/teacher conference? Phil Funnie: Son, you flunked a math test? Theda Funnie: You're being suspended? Phil Funnie: They're sending you back three grades? Theda Funnie: You're being expelled? Phil Funnie: They're tearing up your permanent record? Theda Funnie: You flunked a math test? Phil Funnie: You're under arrest?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Doug Meets The Rulemeister / Doug's a Genius Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: [holds up a pair of polka-dot briefs] Here, Funnie, put these on. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: No thanks, Roger. I'm wearing my own underwear.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Doug's On Stage / Doug's Worst Nightmare Roger Klotz: [Roger is standing outside of what he thinks is Judy's window] What light through yonder window breaks? It is the sun, and Judy is the east. Doug: Roger! Roger Klotz: [Begins climbing up the ladder to the window] It is my lady, it is my love. O that she knew she were. O come to the window, will you, my love? Mrs. Dink: Nice try, Romeo, but you're about thirty years too late.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Doug Takes the Case / Doug's Secret Song Skeeter: What's going on in there Doug? Doug: [peers through Bebe's window to see Porckhop and the girls doing the limbo] You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doug's Cookin' / Doug Loses Dale Beebe Bluff: The key is to give them whatever they want. Trust me. That's what all my babysitters did for me and look how I turned out. [Snatches Connie's ice cream cone] Mine!
	Unknown Episode: Patti: But Mrs. Wingo, what happens to the fatty animals during the summer? Do they get hot? Mrs. Wingo: Let's ask someone that knows that. Mrs. Wingo: [to Doug] Mrs. Wingo: What do you think Fatty Fatty Fatty?
	Unknown Episode: Roger Klotz: Extra-large spitwads? Willie White: Check. Roger Klotz: Burping lunch tray? Boomer Bledsoe: Uh, check. Roger Klotz: Disentegrated homework? Willie White: [laughs] Check.
	Unknown Episode: Assistant Principal Lamarr Bone: DON'T MESS UP!
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Don't do all the barking and be home by ten.
	Unknown Episode: Judy: I'm going to bed. Doug: But it's only 7:30. Judy: SHUT UP! I mean, early to bed, early to rise.
	Unknown Episode: Joe Valentine: That music's so loud I can't hear myself think. Skeeter, could you pass the... stuff in the boat that's brown and Skeeter: The gravy? Joe Valentine: Yeah. So tell me about the, uh... Skeeter: Beets concert. Joe Valentine: Right. Skeeter, pass the mashed... the mashed... Skeeter: Potatoes?
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Hi, Dale. Dale Valentine: Hello, big nose.
	Unknown Episode: Willie White: Truth or dare, Larry? Larry the A.V. Nerd: Truth. Willie White: OK. Have you ever watched a filmstrip at school without permission? Larry the A.V. Nerd: Well, there was this one time... Roger Klotz: Hold it! You can do better than that, Willie. [whisers in Willie's ear] Willie White: OK. Who do you have a crush on? Larry the A.V. Nerd: Uh, well, I guess I like... Beebe. Beebe Bluff: AAAH! Roger Klotz: [laughs] Hey, he's out cold. Give me that punch.
	Unknown Episode: Skeeter: [every time Skeeter says hi to Doug] Yo Doug! [makes nasal noise] Ha ha.
	Unknown Episode: Bud Dink: It was very expensive.
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Dear Journal, hi! it's me, Doug.
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Porkchop!Hahahaha!You're supposed to bag the nematoad,not cream it!
	Unknown Episode: Doug: [Doug is mad at Porkchop] Quit clowning around, Porkchop! This is serious. You go in your Igloo and think about what you did.
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Good luck tonight, Patti. Patti: You too.
	Unknown Episode: Judy: And I thought I was the artistic one in the family...
	Unknown Episode: Doug: It's not fair, Pork Chop. Patti's a way better dancer than Bebe.
	Unknown Episode: Doug: Good luck, Bebe. Beebe Bluff: Thanks, but I won't be needing it. Doug: Yeah, I know...
	Unknown Episode: Doug: [Doug ordering from the Honker Burger for the first time] Hi, I'd like three hamburgers, one no pickles, one no onions, one fish sandwich, four fries, and four grape sodas. Honker Burger Cashier: [pause] I can't understand a word you say. Doug: Huh? [Doug tries again to no avail] Skeeter: Hey, man, let me take care of it. The new kid wants three moo cows, one no cucs, one no sneakers, one wet one, four cubers, and four from the vine. Do you want anything else? Doug: [dumbstruck] How do you order a salad from the salad bar? Skeeter: [Skeeter turns to the cashier] One salad from the salad bar!
	Unknown Episode: Doug: [Entering into Roger's trailer home] Boy it's dark in here Roger. Roger Klotz: Scared of the dark Funnie? Here let me turn on the light
	Unknown Episode: Judy: [Watching Doug go through her private stuff] Oh no I don't mind. go through all my dresser drawers if you want Doug: I knew you would understand Judy: Stay away from my dresser Doug: But you said... Judy: I was being sarcastic
	Unknown Episode: Bud Dink: Dear remember the first time I asked you to dance? Mrs. Dink: Yes dear. Bud Dink: And do you remember what you said? Mrs. Dink: Yes, go away and leave me alone. Bud Dink: Oh you do remember, but still you eventually said yes, and I swept you off your feet. Mrs. Dink: And into the refreshment table dear. Bud Dink: Still wasn't that hospital state room nice?

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